Late this August 50,000 GOP supporters will descend on Tampa, Florida to witness the nomination of Mitt Romney as their presidential candidate. The campaign chest is filled with money from financial supporters, the polls have the former Massachusetts governor neck and neck with the President, and the strip clubs are gearing up for their biggest payday of the century, as white conservative men will show America how to party. City police have instituted new rules on protests to prevent any disruption of the festivities and the GOP leadership showed their love of freedom by allowing Ron Paul's libertarian candidates to attend this convention without walls, although ghosts of the past such as Sarah Palin and GW Bush are expected to be MIA to avoid any bad vibes to spoil a convention destined to give their candidate a huge deadcat bounce in the polls.
Only one question remains to be answered by the soon-to-be nominee and that is who will be his running mate. Jeb Bush is a big fan of Florida Sen. Marco Rubio, a staunch conservative to counterbalance the far right's doubts about a Mormon's beliefs in their values.
Romney's silence on his choice has the media speculating on a broad spectrum of other possible running mates such as Wisconsin's Paul Ryan to gain support from the Tea Party, Arizona governor Jan Brewer for the women who don't fuck vote, New Jersey's Chris Christie to win favor with fat people, Indian's Nikki Haley and Bobby Jindal to show that the GOP does have color, but no way does the fat philander Newt Gingrich or the bombastic Donald Trump get the nod.
In the end Romney will pick a running mate whom he can shove into the shadows, because this is all about him and his magic pajamas.
And his lovely smile.
ps I'm betting on Piyush Jindal at 25-1. Once a Hindu, now a Christian.
His nickname is Bobby.
"Every day after school, I'd come home and I'd watch The Brady Bunch. And I identified with Bobby, you know? He was about my age, and 'Bobby' stuck."
Cute story and good thing he didn't pick Marcia Brady as his mentor.
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