Jamie Parker remains my eyes and ears in Thailand. Wehave known each other for decades. Our tastes coincide more often than not, although Jamie's fun usually begins where mine ends, which is why I told him not to spy on either my girlfriend or wife during this extended absence from Siam.
My wife lives in Chai-Nat. 180 kilometers north of Bangkok. She isn't Jamie's type. Mam on the other hand is 25 and skinny.
"Just the way I like them." Jamie was calling from Pattaya. Mam's apartment was down the coast in Jomtien.
"Jaime, how long we been friends. A long time, right? So don't joke about birddogging Mam."
"What you going to do 10,000 miles away if I do?" Jamie's voice was garbled by whiskey and I warned, "Me, what will I do? I have the key to your safe deposit box. The code too. I'll wipe you out tomorrow morning."
"You actually think I left anything in that?" His question was asking for the truth.
""Yes, because I've already looked."
Jamie had left me the keys in case he got into trouble, but also since he didn't trust himself with the contents of his safety deposit box; $90K and two bags of cocaine plus gems and two fake passports. I'm no thief at least with friends. Banks are another story entirely, because they're the biggest thieves of all. "So you don't fuck around with me and I don't fuck around with you."
"You hear about the farang who hung himself off the Rama 8 Bridge?" Jamie wanted to change the subject. "His body was found hanging by a wire. No head. They found that wrapped in a plastic bag."
"Murder or suicide?" Most farangs would vote for the former while the Thai police like to wrap any messy cases up with 'suicide'. Same as cops everywhere.
"I think it was sexual misadventure. He covered his head in plastic and then jumped off the bridge trying to get a thrill."
"Sounds like something you might have tried."
"Only a couple of times, but then I lost the thrill." Jamie went silent as if he were reliving the moment. "Not The Nation had a funny take on it. Very gallows humor."
"Do that and stay away from Mam." I hung up without another word. I was angry. The love of Thai girls wasn't meant for the light of day and I trusted her the same way I trust Jamie.
At least he came through with the email from NOT THE NATION.
Beheaded Foreigner "Probably Suicide"
The death of an unidentified Western man whose head was found hanging in a bag suspended from the Rama IX bridge has been ruled a suicide by police.
"Based on careful forensics, we think that he removed his own head, placed it in the bag, tied to the rope, lowered it over the side, and then jumped," said Police Colonel Chavalit Prasobsilp. "We see it all the time."
He then went on to explain that Thailand was home to a high number of such unusual suicides, such as renegade journalists shooting themselves twice in the head and corporate whistle blowers choosing to vanish in the middle of investigations to bury themselves in shallow unmarked graves.
Then again I believe all deaths are the result fo murder someplace along the line.
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