Wednesday, April 30, 2025

May Day Freedom From Chains 2011

May Day 2011 and I was sitting in a Tokyo Airport bound for Bangkok. A two week unpaid holiday, since Manny decided to stiff my vacation pay. The 82 year-old diamond dealer said, “I gave one week in January.”

“You gave me butkis then.” I had been a math major in college and had a very good head for numbers.

“I remember one week.”

“Because you want to remember one week. You’re wrong, but then bosses are never wrong these days.” Manny was an old curmudgeon, but I had counted on him for a job since 1989.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you fire two employees and had me work harder without giving me a raise.”

"You're lucky you have a job."

"He was right in some ways, only because everyone around the world was a wage slave grinding out a subsistent living.

Years ago unions protected the workers. The bosses fought the 40-hour week, the end to child labor, and other workers’s rights as was to expected from the filthy rich, since they represent the haves, who don’t want to spit to the have-nots. I hung up saying to Manny, "See you when you get back." then muttered,

"Fuck the rich."

I have belonged to three unions; IBEW for the telephone company, IBT driving taxi in Boston, and the union of drifters. I believe in the power of labor and every May 1 workers of the world march in many countries.

Originally the day was a pagan holiday for the first day of spring, although in a different month than the present Julian calendar. Peasants adherents to the old religions danced around the Maypole. The Catholic Church suppressed the practice by naming May the month of Mary, the Blessed Virgin.

As a child at parochial school the nuns paraded us around the church with the girls wearing white dresses and flowers in their hair. The boys had white jackets and slacks. Parents would take snapshots of their angelic children.

Years later we abandoned this pious procession to march in the May Day protests against the Cambodian Bombings.

1969-1970.

Washington, Kent State, Kissinger, Nixon talking to the protesters.

May Day for the Left honors seven Haymarket anarchists executed for participation in Chicago’s Haymarket Riot of 1886 in Chicago.

May 1 1886 was the start date for the 8-hour day. Big business wasn’t happy with this new law and workers staged a series of protests. Anarchists met in Haymarket Square. The gathering was peaceful until someone threw a bomb into the police ranks, killing one officer. In the ensuing violence more died on both sides.

Hence ‘bombing-throwing anarchist’ entered the American lexicon.

The subsequent trial of eight anarchists based the accusations on hearsay. Evidence revealing the involvement of the Pinkerton Detective Agency in the bombing didn’t prevent the death sentence for seven of the accused.

Public pressure for leniency forced the governor of Illinois to commute the capital charges against two ‘conspirators’.

On the eve of the execution Louis Lingg offed himself by exploding a dynamite cap in his mouth.

The remaining four, Spies, Parsons, Fischer, and Engel were publicly hung, but not before they sang the Marseillaise, the anthem of the international revolutionary movement.

All eight were exonerated in 1893 and May 1 became a rally day for labor throughout the world, although in the USA it is called Loyalty Day.

Thailand gives the day off to workers, 70% who have decent jobs say they are happy with their present situation. Others are less so.

In honor of the Haymarket martyrs I’m taking the day off too.

Power to the people.

One more thing.

Fuck the rich.

May Day - 2014

May Day 2014 I was sitting at my desk in the Fort Greene observatory. I knew today was an important labor holiday, but I wish that I was working and traveled up to Manhattan's Diamond District so yesterday to my old boss from the Diamond District.

"I wish I could give you a job, but there's no business." said the eighty-two year-old diamond dealer and he was right. No one was walking into the exchange.

"The rich have taken all the money and don't know how to spend it. All they know is how to gather it." I had been an economic major in college.

"I guess you have to blame it on someone." Manny was an old curmudgeon, but I had counted on him for a job since 1989.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you worked all your life and never prepared for a moment like this." He had lived through the tailend of the Greater Recession. People my age had been out of work in the millions.

"I was lucky to have a job with you these last years." I had worked for Manny as a salesman on and off since 1990. There had been some good years. None of those were recent.

"And you can't find another job."

"I only know diamonds and writing."

"And you have never made any money on your books."

"You have that right and now everyone around the world are wage slaves grinding out a subsistent living. Workers have no rights."

"And neither do I."

"It wasn't always that way. Once there was a marriage between labor and capital. Years ago unions protected the workers. Union instituted the forty-hour week, the end to child labor, and other workers’s rights, but since Reagan broke up the Air Controllers Union the GOP has been destroying every aspect of workers' rights."

"The Democrats aren't much better."

"We're on our own." I shrugged and made to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"To the 169 Bar in Chinatown. They have $2 beers."

"Have a good May Day."

I showed him the clenched fist and headed to the subway, thinking that I had belonged to three unions; IBEW for the telephone company, IBT driving taxi in Boston, and the union of drifters.

I believed in the power of labor and every May 1 the workers of the world march to show their solidarity.

Originally the day was a pagan holiday for the first day of spring, although in a different month than the present Julian calendar. Peasants adherents to the old religions danced around the Maypole. The Catholic Church suppressed the practice by naming May the month of Mary.

As a child at parochial school the nuns paraded us around the church with the girls wearing white dresses and flowers in their hair. The boys were dressed in white jackets and slacks. Parents snapped photos of their angelic children with Kodak Brownie cameras.

Years later we abandoned this pious procession to march in the May Day protests against the Cambodian Bombings.

1969-1970.

Washington, Nixon talking to the protesters, four dead at Kent State.

May Day for the Left honored the seven Haymarket anarchists executed for participation in Chicago’s Haymarket Riot of 1886 in Chicago.

May ,1 1886 was the start date for the eight-hour day. Big business wasn’t happy with this new law and workers staged a series of protests. Anarchists met in Haymarket Square. The gathering was peaceful until someone threw a bomb into the police ranks, killing one officer. In the ensuing violence more died on both sides.

Hence ‘bombing-throwing anarchist’ entered the American lexicon.

The subsequent trial of eight anarchists based the accusations on hearsay. Evidence revealing the involvement of the Pinkerton Detective Agency in the bombing didn’t prevent the death sentence for seven of the accused.

Public pressure for leniency forced the governor of Illinois to commute the capital charges against two ‘conspirators’.

On the eve of the execution Louis Lingg offed himself by exploding a dynamite cap in his mouth.

The remaining four, Spies, Parsons, Fischer, and Engel were publicly hung, but not before they sang the Marseillaise, the anthem of the international revolutionary movement.

All eight were exonerated in 1893 and May 1 became a rally day for labor throughout the world, although in the USA it is called Loyalty Day.

Thailand gives the day off to workers, 70% who have decent jobs say they are happy with their present situation. Others are less so.

In honor of the Haymarket martyrs I’m taking the day off too.

Sadly it's not by choice.

Power to the people.

May 1, 1978 - Journal Entry

None of us at CBGBs were hippies, but some of us liked ice hockey.

Last night the New York Islanders were knocked out of the Stanley playoffs by the Toronto Maple Leafs. Tomorrow the semi-finals of the Stanley Cup begin with the Bruins versus the Flyers and the fucking Habs against the Maple Leafs.

And I'm a Red Sox fan.

The Bosox are in second place.

Enough for the sporting news.

LATER

This morning Alice lays against my body in symbiotic symmetry. I don't dare move to break the link of flesh to flesh. We are one and I want no one else.

Monogamy?

Is that what my friend Andy found in Theresse?

When Alice woke, I hid my feelings, but had to say, "I don't want you to leave."

It sounds soapy, but my alienation has cast me far from humanity. Alice comforts my madnesses, although it's impossible to dispel them for more than a few hours. Alice looks at me and says, "I don't have to leave yet. It's Daylight Savings Time. We still have an hour."

"So winter is over?"

"Yes, and the days will get longer."

"Shit." I liked long night as much as I hated long days.

"Shit, yes, but I'm a zombie too."

"But you have aspirations for a better life."

"And so do you." Her hand touched my chest and waited for me to say something, but words stuck in my throat and she said, "Everyone is capable of greatness."

"Even me?"

"Yes, even you."

And by saying that Alice joined my mother, Sister Mary Osmond, my 5th Grade teacher, who awarded me honors, and my high school German instructor, Bruder Karl, who fairly failed me, "Schmidt, you have not prepared for your lesson und du sprechst Deustche wie ein aschloch."

Asshole.

Bruder Karl chain-smoked in class. His Bavarian-accented voice sounded like a train dragged across rocks, but I heard the kindness in his words, despite my classic under-achievement in Hoch Schule.

Others saw my worth.

Chris Jansen, an MIT genius, had hired me to work at a chemical plant in Salem. The fat woman had wanted to sleep with me. Her husband had given the green light.

But I preferred to risk it all with Therese's sixteen year-old sister, Hilde. The kids I taught at South Boston High School loved me. I hated the racism of the Selma of the North.

Diana Graham saw something in me.

I think they are all blind.

I used all of them to subsist without working.

Survival.

But not as an enemy. I only want to do good one day, even if that day is like Andy says, "You'll make it after you're dead, like Van Gogh."

More a curse than a blessing.

How I lead my life doesn't permit any retreat.

Anti-star.

Failure is easier to achieve than fame, but Alice said, "You should become a movie star."

"How?"

"By being you. Your friend Willem will be one. Is he better looking than you?"

"Maybe."

"Don't you want to be famous?"

"No, I don't want life sucked from me to become a big person on a silver screen."

"I had a dream about you on the Johnny Carson Show, but he was washed up."

"Johnny washed up?" I love the Tonight Show host. He represented the true vein of America.

"It happens to everyone."

"I don't want fame. I want immortality."

"Everyone dies."

"Not me."

LATER

Alice left for work. I went to the movies.

At the St. Mark's Theater I watched a movie about Caryl Chessman, the accused Red Light Bandit of LA. He sat on Old Sparky in 1960. I was eight, but I realized that his life had come to a point of departure governed by certainty of death.

And death always scares an immortal.

LATER

Most young people say that they are not concerned with age.

I know different.

Death is more welcome to anyone seeking eternal life over the aging of our flesh, especially as the life distances from our birth ever closer to death. I am frightened by new people. I can feel life slipping from them. Second by second. Grain of sand by sand. I avoid them. I avoid their death. I avoid their loss of youth. I never think of mine.

Art has no power over the speed of light tearing apart our flesh like vultures of time.

A couple of night I asked a Rockefeller heir at CBGBs, "Where does power lie?"

"Power is money."

His family controlled coal mines, oil fields, banks, countries, but they are merely exploiters of power. Marx wrote that an economy was based on the balance between labor and capital. Now the rich only think about money, whose value is not real, but implied by the belief in money. It means nothing to nature other than Man rapes the world to get wealth. Pockets are not part of the human body, unless we count them as an extra asshole to store our riches.

Shit.

A place to live.

Food.

Education.

Matter

Shit does not, unless it's to grow food, although dogs sometimes eat shit by mistake and sometimes, because shit tastes better than nothing. Money is slavery, chaining everyone to surrender.

I know nothing.

We humans have not abandoned prejudice, hatred, greed, or any of the Deadly Sins, despite America's forefathers writing in the Declaration of Independence, "All men are created equal..."

Cultures, classes, castes, languages, religions separate our destiny to go to the stars.

LATER


South of Mazatlan
A traveler stands on a highway.
He stands on the hot asphalt.
His bag at his feet.
Parched by the sun-burnt Sonoran desert with Mexico

A drug soothing his Gringo soul
But he wants more

Culiacan heroin

If he was a child he would be lost, but the road only goes north or south.
Mazatlan was north.
San Blas was south.
Black glass cars speed by
Buses roll by.
Faces stare out the windows.
In the desert only fools stand in the sun

The sun rose higher.
Still winter in El Norte.
Here hot.
Where he is is where he is.
Two college girls from Arizona stop.
A Ford Torino.
Going to San Blas for the surf.
The AC cold.
Being out of the sun felt better
San Blas only three hours away and America more distant with every passing every second.

Tears For Venezuela

Since Columbus Americas north and south has always been a land of newcomers. The Spanish, Portugese, English and French displaced fhe native people through disease and extermination. The humanity of Africa was plundered by empires and the American Republuc. The First People disappeared through wars to free the sea to sea for the industrial exploitation of the masses from Europe. Ptge upper classes thrived off the misety of the others, but still people risked all to escape the hopelessness of their home to reach the Land of the Free.

And still they came.

By the millions to the USA, BUT ALSO Columbia, Peru, other other Latin American countries.

Most recently from Senegal and Venezuela. There was no stopping them and Trump won the 2024 election by appealing to the fears of 31% of the electorate. GOP governors shipped the illegals from the border states to the North. Plenty of them.

New York City housed thousands.

In Clinton Hill several warehouses were transformed into shelters. Senegalese men and large Venezuelan families. Their voyages were long and dangerous often financed by debts to the human traffickers, but I was surprised by the size of Venezuelan families. As many as fivr children parented by short Indios. All fundamentalist Christian and I asked myself how were they able to finance this trip.

Only one answer came to mind.

Their churches. Catholics throughout the Americas have abandoned the Old Religion to worship the fundamentalist faith. And the churches are financed by the rabid rightwing Bible thumpers.

Venezuela sits on the greatest oil reserves in the world, but reaped about $4 billion in 2023, while Saudi Arabia earned a hundred times that amount thanks to the longstanding US embargo, which has impoverished the nation. There would be no refugees, if we believed in a free market.

To Forgive and Forget - 1999

After my youngest brother died of AIDS in 1995, I traveled to the holiest shrines in Asia. The ancient temples salved little of my grief and I switched to worshipping the high heels of the go-go girls. Vee danced at the Baby A Go-Go in Pattaya. She had one eye. We had an affair. The word ‘love’ was traded between us many times. My money ran out before Christmas and a 747 flew me back to the States. My vow to return was a lie. Friends phoned to say she was seeing an Englishman. It seemed better that way.

A year later I took a plane to Thailand. The taxi ride from Bangkok lasted two hours. I stayed at the same hotel. A knock sounded on the door. It wasn’t room service. Vee hadn’t changed much physically, but told me she had AIDS. I said I would help her. We went up country to Isaan to see her baby.

Nothing had changed at the farm. THe fields were fallow and dry two months before the monsoons.

Her son was healthy. She said it could have been mine. The math didn’t work out. I didn't care. I liked children.

The farm had prospered. Vee and I slept in the same bed. She wanted me to hold her. We did nothing else. The next morning I looked for water. No medicine filled the refrigerator. Vee put the child on my lap. She had told her lovers the same story. It had been a test.

None of them came north. I was the only one who passed this exam. The memory of my brother stopped my strangling her. Her son cried as I packed my bags. Vee asked if I was angry. My answer was a weak no and I put down my bag. Her son climbed into my arms. All three of us slept in the bed together. Two days later I caught the bus back south. Forgetting her lie was much easier in Pattaya as was everything else, because life is too short not to forgive and forget.

Sunday, April 27, 2025

Klaus Nomi RIP

A blizzard struck Manhattan on February 4, 1978. The snowstorm closed the city within the first hours. The streets were impassable for cars. 100 mph winds buried the sidewalks under 5-foot drifts. My hillbilly girlfriend and I were trapped in our East Village apartment for days. The gas stove's four burners prevented our freezing to death. We lived on bagels from the corner bodega and Chinese take-out. Those deliverymen saved our lives. The sanitation department cleared the avenues, then the streets, and finally Manhattan approached normalcy.

Our cabin fever ran in the 100s and I suggested to my hillbilly girlfriend that a drink at Max's Kansas City might cure our too-much-homesickness. Alice agreed with this plan. The Heartbreakers were the headliners that night. The West Virginian had moved to the city after seeing the covers of the New York Dolls LP. I could't blame her. Johnny Thunders ruled the scene as punk's Jimi Hendrix.

Our only winter clothing was ski jackets. Max's was the antithesis of après slope. We dressed in black leather. I was lucky enough to wear engineer boots. Alice had no option other than high heels. She was almost thin. Her skin was polar white. Many of our friends said that she looked like Shirley MacLaine. Alice hated hearing that comparison, but I had fallen in love with Warren Beatty's sister in THE APARTMENT. It was a long-running obsession.
I worked at the New School registering students thanks to Jim Fouratt, a gay activisit. Alice was acting at the Ensemble Theather an ensemble. Her money came from her parents. Mine barely covered room and board. She paid for the taxi. We arrived Max's minutes before the opening song. The door person let us in for free. I had saved him from a beating at Disco Donut. The upstairs was packed with punks and Heartbreakers fans. The stars of the scene sat up front. I was a nobody to them and happy to be so Emily Dickenson. Alice yearned for the spotlight. Her favorite movie was THE THREE FACES OF EVE.
>The band took the stage and Johnny Thunders shouted into the mike that they were glad to see us.
"One two three."

The Heartbreakers performed an extraordinary set. They played as a group. The audience knew every song.
>MILK ME, CHINESE ROCKS, GET OFF THE PHONE, LONDON, TAKE A CHANCE, ONE TRACK MIND, ALL BY MYSELF, LET GO, I LOVE YOU, CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OFF YOU, I WANNA BE LOVED and DO YOU LOVE. The encore was BORN TO LOSE.
The two hundred of us wanted more and they gave us TOO MUCH JUNKIE BUSINESS. Our applause was the appreciation of a thousand. I understood how a single record company didn't wanted to risk their reputation on the Heartbreakers. They personified trouble.
The crowd divided like an amoeba in two directions. Groupies and Heartbreakers fan headed for the dressing room. Druggies and drunk descended to the downstairs bar. Alice regarded the stage with an unnatural yearning. I nodded my release. She was only 21. We had all come to New York to be free. Within two steps toward the dressing room I was history. Alice wanted bright lights and fame. Same as any actress straight out of Appalachia.
My happiness was a little easier to achieve and I descended to the downstairs bar for a drink. The bartender put a vodka-tonic in front of me. We played pool at Julian's on 14th Street. I pushed $5 across the bar. The tip covered my drinking for the rest of the night. The staff at Max's and CBGBs knew how treat the regulars.
I nodded to several other drinkers. Some were musicians. Others were artists. We liked liquoring on our own. Across the bar a raven-haired punkette was staring at me. A vintage leather catsuit covered her zombie-lime skin. Her eyelids were smeared with raccoon mascara. Chains hung from her neck. She was a working girl slumming for trash. A hotel room was too good for her. She had seen plenty of those with her johns. She blew a kiss and glanced back to the bathrooms. This was going to be a short romance
>I looked over to the stairs. They we empty. Everyone upstairs was upstairs. Everyone downstairs was downstairs. Five minutes were more than enough. I checked the bar. A thin man in black leather was watching the girl and me. He could have passed for Josef Goebbels' nephew. I didn't like the way he was looking at me and I walked over to him.
"You have a problem?"
"Me a problem?" His accent was German.
I had struggled with the language I failed in high school and college. My best grade was a C+. My worst was a couple of Fs, but I retained more than a rudimentary grasp on the language and spoke to the young man in German. After a few exchanges it was obvious that he was gay, but he laughed at my apprehension.
"Don't worry. You are not my type. Ich mochte niche Neanderthal menschen."
It wasn't the first time that someone had mentioned my resemblance to homo sapiens' predecessor. My family hailed from the Picts. We were an ancient race. Alice called me a caveman. She said that I grunted when we made love.
"Viele danke. Ich nicht bin ein Schwanzlutscher."
The German punk threw back his head and laughed like Goethe on amyl nitrate.
"That is very good. Where did you learn such language?"
I explained that my Bavarian teacher in high school chain-smoked during class and swore at us in two languages. He failed me twice. My Boston accent ran roughshod over umlauted German. "Bad as I was as a student. Bruder Karl still sends me a Christmas card."
"You are probably the only one of his students still speaking Deutsche."
"Verleicht." I was a little disconcerted by my retention of certain words.
We discovered that the both of us had worked at Serendipity 3, the famed gay ice cream shop on East 60th Street. The waiters gave everyone a woman's name. The German had been Marlene. My monicker was Bam-Bam.
"Like the Flintstones."
"Yes, they thought I was Missing Link."
"An animal. Perhaps you like this Strichmadchen. The whore looks like she is Sado."
"More Maso than Sado." I had read THE STORY OF O dozens of times.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught the approach of Alice. The warmth of her smile smacked of guilt. I introduced her to the German. His name was Klaus.
"My father disappeared in Stalingrad. I was raised an only child in Essen."
"A steel town." I had read about the bombing of the Saar Valley in numerous WWII books. The factory town had been reduced to ashes.
>"And not a very fun town for someone like me. I had two choices at age 18. Berlin or New York.
"New York won?"
"No place better to sing opera. High alto."
"Like the castradi." The emasculated opera singers were capable of a wider range than normal males.
"Exactly."
"They were the craze in 18th Century Italy." Alice knew her theater. I had seen her in a play. THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN. Most directors thought of her as an ingenue. They were dead wrong. She played the Las Vegas chorus girl Fran Walker to the hilt. Alice turned on her charm. "I would have loved to see the Divine Farinelli."
"At one time there were over 100,000 castradi in Europe." The German introduced himself as Klaus. His native country had rejected his efforts to sing the first eunuch soprano since the middle of the 19th Century. Spurned he chose New York over Berlin and professed to be practicing to break into the punk scene by singing Lou Christie's LIGHTNING STRIKES ME AGAIN.
"I love Lou Christie." Alice was Klaus' newest convert to castradism. Their conversation swirled into the demise of the genre. Klaus cursed the Italians for banning castration for musical purposes in 1861. His discourse about the actual method of gelding a man a was a little graphic for even my prurient tastes and my eyes strayed to the green-skinned punkette. Two members of a relatively known band bracketed her at the bar. She toyed with the heavy chain around her neck. I ordered another drink and contemplated my chances of getting her phone number without Alice noticing my philandering.
The answer was zero.
It was almost 2 am when Alice yawned for the second time. She possessed the amazing ability to fall asleep a half-minute after the third yawn. I motioned that it was time to go and she got up from her stool. I was surprised by her saying, "if you want to stay with Klaus, I understand."
"Understand?"
"Ja." Klaus rattled off several sentences in his native tongue. My German was about as good as Colonel Klink from HOGAN'S HEROES, but I caught the drift of his guttural suggestion to lose Alice and pick up the punkette across the bar. He said her name was Nina and she liked it rough. "Same as me."
"Not tonight."
Alice was a gifted actress, but came from the hick hollers of west Virginia. The East Village was dangerous. Our street was one of the worst. The snow was waist-high. She could disappear into some of the deeper drifts. "I have to take her home."
"Really it's all right. I can a taxi myself. You stay with Klaus." Alice was a little too eager and I turned my head. A good-looking rocker was waiting in the cold. Alice wasn't the type to fool around with another man, but she liked her fun, so I said, "Be careful."
"It's only a taxi ride." She pecked my cheek and ran outside with a skip in her walk.
Klaus said nothing and signaled for Nina to join us. He told her that I was from Berlin . I spoke with a German accent. She took me back to her place. Klaus waved good-bye and said to come over his house to tell me everything.
"I'll make you a strudel."
"It's a deal."
>And that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Klaus passed away of AIDS in 1983. I was living in Paris at that time. Every time someone mentions his name I think of that night.
There was a lot of snow.

Memorial Day 2023

Memorial Day traditionally kicks off the summer holidays in America. Parades are held to honor the nation's soldiers and sailors, who have fallen in battle, after which families gather for BBQs before creating massive traffic jams on the highways of the USA. Memorial Day was celebrated on May 30, which preceded my birthday by one day, so as a child I looked forward to the holiday with doubled anticipation.

As a Boy Scout in the early 60s we marched into the town cemetery with veterans from the country's many wars, firefighters, police, and politicians. A prayer was said at the Civil War monument and a military color guard shoot blanks into the air.

Somehow I thought that some of the accompanying veterans had fought in the Civil War, but the last survivor of the War between the States had been Albert Henry Woolson, who died in August 2, 1956, so maybe these ancient soldiers were the last veterans standing from the Spanish American War.

Memorial Day was first held in Charleston South Carolina in 1866, when the newly freed laid flowers on the graves of dead Union soldiers. Decoration Day was popular with the veterans of the Grand Army of the Republic, as the remains of the dead were moved from where they fell to their home states.

Today I raise my glass to the hundreds of thousands of dead.

They are not forgotten.

A Memorial Day Thought:

"Obviously what causes war is the desire for power, position, prestige, money; also the disease called nationalism, the worship of a flag; and the disease of organized religion, the worship of a dogma. All these are the causes of war; if you as an individual belong to any of the organized religions, if you are greedy for power, if you are envious, you are bound to produce a society which will result in destruction. So again it depends upon you and not on the leaders - not on so-called statesmen and all the rest of them. It depends upon you and me but we do not seem to realize that. If once we really felt the responsibility of our own actions, how quickly we could bring to an end all these wars, this appalling misery!"
-Krishnamurti

November 3, 1978 - East Village - Journal Entry

Last night at THE NEW WAVE VAUDEVILLE SHOW at Irving Plaza was a great success, but a debacle for me. Klaus Nomi was the headliner along with a horde of starry-eyed rockers and artists. I was asked to be the security with my friends. None of us were paid, but we guaranteed free drinks .

The night of the show started slow, but by midnight the auditorium on Irving Place was packed with new wave affecionados. Klaus killed the crowd. He was a star. At the end of his performance the stage lights came up, signaling time to go home. I went from table to table telling the guests that they didn't have to go home, but they couldn't stay here. The rest of the security was guzzling liquor at the back bar.

Alice and her friends were flush with of achieving glory for an evening and tomorrow promised more with the B-52s headlining the show. Only one table remained and I approached the four rockers, telling the same thing as everyone else. They didn't like what they heard and a thin-haired guy in glasses asked, "Do you know who I am?"

I had seen him someplace, but said, "No."

"We're Blondie and we're not going anywhere."

"Blondie? I had seen them several times at CBGBs. I liked them and said, "It's been a long night. Just do me a favor and finish your drinks."

I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my shoulder. I shucked off his grip and slapped the beer out of his hand.

"Just leave, you cunts. You guys suck."

I was no music critic and they attacked me as if one of them had said, "One two three four."

I seized the forelock of the rocker in the glasses and whacked him in the face. He backed away and I found myself with a shank of hair in my hand. After that I was buried underneath them and their roadies. Not a fair fight. I was used to those.

Alice wasn't there when I got to my feet. I had trouble breathing. Two of my ribs were broken. I returned to our apartment on East 10th Street and lay on the futon wheezing. I coughed a little blood. Nothing serious.

Alice show up at dawn.

She sat in the kitchen.

"A good night."

"Yes, but you had to ruin it all. Blondie wants to play, but both them and the B-52s won't perform if you're there."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, the show must go on."

That morning we slept in separate beds.

Alice left for the show before sunset without saying a word. I wandered north to Irving Plaza and drank in the Polish Bar beneath Irving Plaza. The Poles toasted me. I toasted them back.

"Na Zdrowie!" I coughed with pain

I spit up blood for the next two days. I should have sued the band for a hundred-thousand. Sadly I wasn't that type of guy.

Fighters never are. We win. We lose. We never cry.

Never.

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Texas Guide to Life - 2011


Here's some very useful Texas wisdom.

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacca.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Classic.

April 26, 1981 - Key West - Journal Entry

FOTO - Capucine and Hiram Keller in Fellini - Satyricon (1969)

Last night in Key West. Hiram and I go to the Monster, a notorious gay disco celebrating the Sexual Revolution. We drink to excess, dance, huff poppers with abandon. I strip to my undies to Sly's TAKE ME HIGHER. No one asks me to go to the toilet. Their radar tells them I'm off-limits, but they relentlessly hit on Hiram. He was the lead in Fellini's SATYRICON. The handsomest man I have ever met.. A movie star after all and a friend who shares all the drugs with me.

We go back to his place. The Bertonis are gone. I shall be gone tomorrow.

Tina, his wife, asks if we had fun.

"Too much," Hiram is a good mood. We both are. They are headed to Hollywood to audition for COUNTRYMAN and I'm going back to New York. I am leaving the same way I came. Hitchhiking.

I shall miss Key West.

The tropical flowers, the pastel colors of buildings, the scent of night jasmine, the pelicans skating on a breeze above the most aqua of waters, the waywardness of a dead-end town like Provincetown or Fire Island.

I've cured myself of my bad habits for now. All my heartaches are gone. I'm ready for more and MORE remain back north.

I will wait for answers.

Below is a postcard of Key West.

An aerial shot.

I would never see that.

I didn't go up in a balloon or fly by seaplane to Dry Tortugas. I will take a bus north to Miami. I saw plenty of subchasers arrive at the Naval Base at sunset. Protecting us some the Cubans and their Black & White TV shows. I really enjoyed to coral isle surrounded by the Gulf Stream. My psyche feels its embrace.

I heard an old-timer say that Key West gets erased every once in a while like the Hurricane of 1935. Everything blown into the sea and they start anew. From scratch. None of the houses have basement only crawl spaces. If you hide something in the Keys, it has to be in the attic. There is only coral stone below. Ah, Key West.

41 BLANCO STREET AUSTIN by Peter Nolan Smith

In late January of 1975 I drove a blind piano-tuner in a Delta 88 from Miami Beach to the East Texas. Everyone at the Sea Breeze Hotel on Collins Avenue had warned me about Old Bill’s driving. I thought that the old coots had been kidding, but outside of La Grange the blind man ordered me to turn off Route 71 onto a dirt road.

Gene Ammons was playing on the cassette deck.

“This is it.”

“Here?” The unplanted cotton fields bore bare brown earth.

“My lady friend lives a couple of miles down this road.” Old Bill motioned for me to get out of the car.

“You know where you are?” There wasn’t a single house in sight.

“Road 4123, right?”

“Yeah.” I didn’t ask how he knew, having witnessed the blind man’s extraordinary perceptive powers on more than one occasion.

“You’re really going to drive?”

“It’s my car. Of course I’m going to drive. Now get out of my vehicle, Hippie Boy.”

I stepped out of the car and Old Bill slid over to the driver’s seat.

“You’re not serious?”

“More serious than a heart attack. Good luck, motherfucker.” Old Bill had a way with words.

“You too.” I shivered thinking about the impending car crash.

“Don't worry about me, Hippie Boy. Ain't much to crash into out here as long as I ride the crest. I'll be fine.” The old piano-tuner twisted the wheel, as if he were reading the braille from the pebbles on the road. “Hippie boy, am I pointed straight?”

“I left you on the crest of the road. Anything off that is the ditch.” The hard-scrabble two-laner ran straight as a strand of dry spaghetti to the hazy horizon.

The white orbs of his eyes blinked with radar precision.

“Then I’m good. See you, when I see you.” Old Bill drove off slowly, the Olds weaving from side to side.

After a minute a rooster tail of yellow dust swallowed the black speck of the northbound Delta 88.

A half-hour later a trucker stopped and drove me to Austin. We arrived in that college town close to sunset with the horizon boiling with splattered palette of color.

“I’m heading for El Paso. Ain’t much between here and there.” The trucker throttled down his big rig.

“I might stay the night here.” I had read about Austin in Rolling Stone magazine.

“If you do, go down to the World Armadillo Headquarters. Jerry Jeff Walker and Willie Nelson are regulars there."

“So I heard.” The club had been anointed the musical navel of the Southwest.

“Wish I could check it out with you, but I'm on a tight schedule.”

"I don't have to be in California for another week."

“Then have that first beer for me.”

"Will do." I jumped down from the cab and the truck hauled out to the west.

A dented red Ford pickup with Texas plates approached from the east. Two hippies sat in the front. I had long hair. We flashed each other peace signs. They stopped on the shoulder.

“Where you headed?” asked the red-eyed passenger through the window.

“California's destination. I have a girl out there, but for tonight the World Armadillo Headquarters.”

“Us too. We just got done working on the ranch." The driver had a battered straw hat.

"Shovelin’ horse shit all day." The passenger wrinkled his nose.

"And now we want a beer." The driver thumbed for me to jump in the back. "Commander Cody’s playing with Asleep At The Wheel.”

“First rounds on me.” I sat in a flatbed smelling of cow manure. I smelled the same by the time we reached Barton Springs Road.

The Armadillo was located next to a roller rink. I brought my bag inside with me. The two hippies knew the man at the door. We entered for free.

A dazed hippie girl checked my bag and I walked inside the enormous club. Joe Bob, the pickup’s driver, informed me, “The Armadillo used to be an armory.”

“The acoustics suck, but the bands are kickass.” His scrawny friend lit up a joint. "You wanna hit."

“Nothing for me.”

Marijuana possession was a serious crime in the Lone Star State and Huntsville Prison was infamous for the harshness of incarceration. My hosts could easily be narcs.

“You sure?” Joe Bob sucked heavily on the thick stick.

“It’s from Oaxaca.” Ray-El wore a battered cowboy hat and turd-dusted boots. A true shit kicker.

“No thanks.” I wasn’t wasting a couple of years in Huntsville Prison for a joint.

“Don’t worry, there ain’t no one gonna bother you in the Armadillo about weed.” Billy Bob passed the reefer to Ray-El, whose inhale expanded his lungs to the bursting point of a thin balloon. He exhaled, coughing out, "Narcs didn’t inhale."

“Cops, lawyers, judges, everyone comes here to hear the music and drink beer. I thought you said that first round was on you.” Billie Bob took the joint.

“That’s right.”

I surrendered my caution and bellied up to the bar with the joint in my hand. Lone Star was the beer of choice. I ordered six. I toasted Austin and told about the blind piano turner driving off into East Texas. We drank with other cowboy hippies, They were all well over 6-feet. Most looked like they had played college football for an angry coach.

I don’t recollect the opening bands, since Joe Bob, Ray-El, and I tossed back shots of tequila to get in the mood for Commander Cody, except Joe Bob had the wrong date. They were playing the next night, but Asleep At The Wheel proved to be a killer band.

I went to the payphone to call Emma in California. Like always there as no answer. I returned to the auditorium.

Most of the audience watched from the floor, but I was dragged onto the dance floor to perform a country version of the Hustle with a redheaded woman in a filmy black dress.

“You’re new around here?”

“Just got into town today from the East Coast."

"Smells more like Texas to me."

"That must be the cow shit."

"Damn straight, my name’s Ginger. Where y’all stayin’?” she asked after a breath-taking swirl.

“Nowhere.” I hadn’t slept with a woman in over two months.

“I live on Blanco.” Ginger was thin and still a waif at 25.

“I don’t know where that is.”

“It’s not a walkin’ distance.”

“I don’t have a car.”

“Me neither.”

“You have your horse here?”

"Horse?"

"This is the West and a horse is much easier to ride than a cow."

“Funny, we got taxis here. Probably one waiting outside.” Her fingers graced the inside of my elbow. Seduction was her mission. I was an easy target.

“Then let’s go to your place.” I was twenty-three, 5-11 with long brown hair. Ginger and I were made for each other.

I informed Joe Bob about my plans.

"Quick work. That redhead is a looker."

"You city slickers are fast on your feet." Ray-El winked his approval.

“More she’s faster than me.”

"What about that girl in California?" Joe Bob ordered two more beers.

"She's a thousand miles away from here."

"That's the god-awful truth. If you need someplace to stay later, call us.” Joe Bob wrote his telephone number and address on a napkin.

22nd and Chestnut.

“We have a commune. One more or two more people ain’t gonna kill us.”

“He won’t be needin’ us tonight, but if you do get up our way, just ask for the hippie commune. The peckerwoods will show you the right way, if they don’t shoot you first.”

“Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.”

Tonight I was destined to be deep in the heart of Texas.

Ginger’s house was a bungalow not far from Shoal Creek. The classic western decor testified old cattle money. Her two family names echoed the importance in Texas history. Her bed was brass. The sheets were scented with spices. The mattress was soft. I piled my clothes on a chair. My bag lay at the foot of the bed.

"Where you headed anyway?"

"West."

"Y’all in a hurry."

"Not tonight."

"Good, because there's nothing west of here, but more Texas."

Ginger lit candles and put Joni Mitchell BLUE on the Marantz stereo. The song was CALIFORNIA from the album BLUE. James Taylor played guitar on the song CALIFORNIA. Our young bodies recreated Big Sur on her bed and we didn’t fall asleep until dawn.

“Y’all have to leave before noon.” Ginger’s drawl was exhausted by her effort and mine.

"For the West?"

"No, just out of this house."

"Who you expecting?"

"No one in particular."

“Noon it is.” I mentally set an alarm in my head.

The bell failed to go off at noon and Ginger’s violent shaking ended my coma.

“Y’all have to go.” A silk robe was wrapped around last night’s nakedness.

“Now?” I was very comfortable.

“Now.” The demand was urgent.

A pick-up truck door slammed outside. A man’s cowboy boots were lined against the wall.

They looked a size 12.

“My husband is back from the oil field.”

“Husband?”

A man called out her name.

I grabbed my bag and clothing.

Ginger pointed to the bedroom’s open window.

“See you at the Armadillo later.”

There was no time for a kiss.

I fled the bungalow naked without a backward glance.

A taxi took me to the commune. The driver knew the house. He came inside to smoke some weed. Billy Bob and his friend were sympathetic about my plight.

“Even cowgirls get tired of fuckin’ cowboys.”

Billie Bob and Ray-El belonged to a vegetarian commune. They introduced me to the clan. The girls came from the Deep South. They smelled of patchouli and didn't shave their legs.

Ginger's were smooth from a Lady Schick razor.

That evening we ate a feast of mushed broccoli and peas. My passport into their midst was a big bottle of red wine. They were a big family; eight co-eds from UT, Joe Bob and Ray-El. We all had one plate. That night we saw Commander Cody at the Armadillo.

Ginger arrived at midnight.

“Sorry about this mornin’.”

“Noon, not morning.”

“You poor thang.” She caressed my cheek. “Y’all lit out like a rattlesnake with its tail on fire.”

“I thought it was the right thing to do. What did you’re husband say.”

“My husband is dumber than a cow tied to a stump. A hard worker and a good church person, but not too exciting. Not like you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, Tommy only performs in bed as the Good Book tells him, but I have to fess up that you Yankees are a whole nuther thang.”

“We are.”

“I don’t know about them. I just know about you.”

I told her about Old Bill driving blind. She laughed at all the right parts.

We repeated the previous night with some deviations from the Bible. Ginger loved her Joni Mitchell. A noon departure cut it too close for comfort, so I woke with the dawn.

Before leaving I checked the closet. Tommy's shirts were an XXL. Dumb or not he was a big man.

“Don’t you worry about Tommy. He’s roughnecking all week out on the Basin near San Angelo.”

“How far away is that?”

“Two hundred miles.”

Texans had to drive fast. Driving the speed limit got you nowhere.

Ginger blew me a kiss from bed.

"See you later, Yankee Boy."

I should have been smart and hit the road, but Ginger played men like she had an ace in the hole.

That week we explored the bars along East Sixth Street. Cowboys and black musicians drank early in that town. Co-eds From the University of Texas served cold beer. I played pool. Eight-Ball was a good way to kill the day.

A cheap hotel room across the Colorado River was a safer place than Ginger's house and I felt deep in the heart of Texas most of the afternoon.

“Y’all done tuckered me out.”

I could barely move and she kissed me on the lips.

I paid the hotel bill.

$20 wasn’t expensive, but my money went fast with Ginger.

That night Ray-El and Billy Bob met me to eat cheeseburgers at the Victory Grill.

“We have to keep up our strength.” Ray-El liked his meat rare.

“Beans and veggies are animal food.” Joe Bob like his bloody.

It was tough being a vegetarian in Texas.

“You be careful of that Ginger.” Billy Bob soaked his burger in chili sauce.

“She got an old man.” Ray-El draped jalapenos on his.

“And a big one from what I heard.” Billy Bob shook his head.

"I played dub.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere near her house.” Their accent was wearing off on me.

“Maybe not, but Austin is a small city and a smaller town, if you just hang out on East Sixth Street.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

That evening I went to the Armadillo early. The jukebox covered a lot of ground. Jerry Jeff Walker was setting up for the night. The bartenders knew my name. I tipped better than the goat-ropers. Jimmie Lee served me a Lone Star Beer.

“Tommy Gammage been lookin’ for you."

“I don’t know any Tommy Gammage.” I knew why.

“He's Ginger’s old man and he don’t look none too happy.”

“Thanks for the info.” I tipped him $5 and left the Armadillo by the rear exit.

It took me an hour to walk the back roads to Chestnut. The sun was down by the time I arrived at the commune.

The front door had been kicked in by a big boot.

Joe Bob was sporting a black eye.

My bag was at his feet.

“Let me guess. Tommy came looking for me?”

“You got that right. I didn’t say nuttin’, but we don’t want no more trouble. The sisters in the commune has voted you out.”

“Me too.” Ray-El shouted from the living room.

“I understand.” They commune was into peace and love.

Ray-El came to the door. The girls were shadows in the kitchen.

"Let me make a phone call."

"To Ginger?"

"It seems like the right thing to do."

I dialed her number.

There was no answer.

“I vote me out too.” I picked up my bag. "Sorry, ladies."

“I’ll give you a ride to the highway.” Joe Bob handed me my bag.

I didn’t refuse his offer.

Route 71 was more than five miles away from the house.

I kept my eye open for any angry husband.

"One last beer at the 'Dillo."

"Not tonight."

"You want me to say anythin’ to Ginger."

I liked lying in her bed.

I liked the idea of lying with her again.

With any luck Tommy was working in the north of the Texas Panhandle and Amarillo to Austin was a five-hundred miles ride.

"Tell her I'll be back in the spring, but don't mention that to her old man."

"I ain't saying nuthin to that redneck peckerwood."

The radio played FREE BIRD by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Joe Bob turned up the volume. We smoked a joint.

The pick-up stopped on the highway.

I grabbed my bag from the back.

It smelled of cow paddy.

I guess I did too.

"You be careful on the road." He handed me a joint.

"I will."

"Ain't nothin’ much out there."

"Ginger said the same."

"Have a good time in LA and stay away from married women."

"Thanks to the advice."

Billy Bob waited by the side of the road, until a westbound Camaro shuddered to a stop.

I waved good-bye to Joe Bob and got in the car.

The Mexican driver was a Marine headed west. He shifted into first.

"How far?"

"All the way to Camp Pendleton." Second gear came fast.

"And then?"

Anywhere, but Viet-Nam. My war days are over." 3rd gear lasted a second and we were cruising in 4th.

"Glad to hear it."

I told him my name.

Chaz was listening to a beaner station playing Freddie Fender's WASTED DAYS AND NIGHTS.

"You meet any women in Austin?"

"One. A redhead named Ginger."

"I love Pelliroja. They make my hot boil. Why you leave?"

"She had a husband. A big gringo."

"Hijo de la chingada, I hate husbands."

"Me too." I missed Ginger. "But I'll be back."

"Good man. Next stop is El Paso. I know a great place for heuvos rancheros."

"Anything in between?" I looked at my map.

"Just a lot of West Texas. Mind if I drive fast?"

"Not at all." I relaxed in the seat and looked back toward lights of Austin glowing over the trees.

The road head of us was empty.

Stars wrote a broad path in the night sky.

Chaz stepped on the gas.

There was nothing between here and El Paso, but more Texas just like Ginger had said.

The next morning we arrived in El Paso

Texas was a big state.

Friday, April 25, 2025

Biloxi Wintah January 1975

A gray Monday morning in Clinton Hill reminiscing of a drive across the Southern USA.

Biloxi Wintah January 1975

An hour after sunset we passed through Ocala. Old Bill was the co-pilot. I was at the wheel. The cowboy town looked mean and I drove the speed limit. Florida was a big state at 55.

We joined the Interstate after Lake City.

Old Bill drunkenly bitched about the trucks.

"Not many other options." I wasn’t keen on driving through the backroads of the Panhandle. “This is cracker territory.”

"I know, but those trucks sound like giant frogs fartin’." The blind piano turner stuffed wads of wet paper in his ears and fell asleep until we reached Biloxi around four in the morning. He lifted his nose to the open window. They were as good as eyes for him.

"There’s a good crab shack before the Biloxi Bay Bridge. The second one. My wife liked it. We'll eat there." Old Bill was from Blatimore. She liked his seafood.

We entered the shack with me leading Old Bill by the hand and sat by the window. He tucked a napkin into his collar and spread a handkerchief on his lap and tucked another into his shirt collar.

"Only have one damned suit." He was on his way to from Miami Beach to Texas to visit an old girlfriend east of Austin. I was the driver.

Old Bill’s choice was on the money.

The crabs were big and juicy.

The other diners watched him crack the shell and stuff the succulent meat in his mouth.

Shells and crab meat scattered all over his side of the table. I averted my eyes from the horror of his enjoyment. At the end of the meal Old Bill wiped his mouth with the napkin.

“I get anything on my suit?” He stared down with an inquisitive sniff.

“Nothing." I didn't have the heart to tell the truth to a blind man.

"I'm a lucky man."

We returned to the Olds.

"How so?" I felt good too.

"My belly's full of crab and I got a hippie diving me to Texas.”

I guess I'm lucky too." I opened the car door and hesitated for several seconds. A warm wind blew off the Gulf. Winter was up north. I pulled the keys out of my pocket and sat behind the wheel. The traffic over the Biloxi bridge was light and the road was open to LA.

Yee-Hah Texas 2010

In 2010 Texas executed eighteen men. Their punishment was ordered by the state for the crimes of murder. The next up on the injection table deserved the ultimate punishment for the heinous murder of a black man in 1998.

His crime had been to man to drag his victim behind a Ford pick-up truck to the nearest black church to inform the community of Japer that the KKK was back in area.

Jasper, Texas had been founded in 1824 as a lumber town in the Deep East Texas.

By 1998 the population split evenly between black and white. It was not a rich town, but Jasper was not Philadelphia, Mississippi and 1998 was not 1964 when the Klan killed 3 civil rights workers.

Lawrence Brewer and his partners begged to differ. They committed murder, expecting to escape justice, however both Brewer and another partner received the death penalty. The third got Life. He must have been the snitch.

On the day before his Reckoning Brewer ordered his last meal.

A big one.

Two chicken fried steaks, a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, a pound of barbecue, three fajitas, a meat lover's pizza, a pint of ice cream, and a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts.

Once the food was in his cell, Brewer declared that he wasn't hungry and went to his death without taking a single bite.

His loss of appetite was not uncommon and the state prison chaplain said many men declined to eat their last meal.

"Very few - I'd say less then 10% - ate all that we brought to them."

A state senator was appalled by this murderer getting such a feast and called for the abolition of the an ancient tradition dating back to the Greeks and Romans. The director of Texas prisons shared his opinion and since then the condemned man will be served the same as any other inmate on death row at Livingston.

The following year Death Row went on a hunger strike, because of bad food in their unit.

One way or the other Texas will kill the dead men walking, especially when Rick Perry had been governor.

His favorite food is popcorn.

Yee-Hah Texas.

Texas Tower Massacre - 2009


On August 1, 1966 Charles Joseph Whitman started the day by killing his wife and mother. He left a note in his apartment.

"I do not quite understand what it is that compels me to type this letter. Perhaps it is to leave some vague reason for the actions I have recently performed. I do not really understand myself these days. I am supposed to be an average reasonable and intelligent young man. However, lately (I cannot recall when it started) I have been a victim of many unusual and irrational thoughts."

Charles Whitman left his apartment and drove to the Texas University. The ex-Marine climbed the 307-foot tower with a cache of weapons. From this aerie he shot dead 13 and wounded 32 others with telescopic rifles. This rampage lasted for hours. Finally two Austin police officers put down the killer with shotguns.

"We got him."

Medical examiners found a brain tumor in his head. He was also on speed and rumors abounded about his abuse as a child by the Catholic priests from his home parish of Lake Worth, Florida.

No one blamed the guns.

Not then.

Now now and not when gunmen assail 'soft targets' such as school, fast food chains, and malls. Strangely no deranged gunman has ever attacked a gun show.

Guns and guns and guns.

Not once in America has a mass murderer assailed a gun show, proving that either the madmen are scared of not accomplishing their murderous mission or gun shows calm the burning blood of a killer's brain.

Don't get me wrong. I like shooting guns. Just not at people.

Unless they are after my family, then it's open season.

Lock and load.

Wednesday, April 23, 2025

# 409 window # 31

Yesterday I went to the downtown Brooklyn Social Security office. Having read about the DOGE attempting to dismantle the federal benefits dating back to FDR's New Deal and LBJ's Great Society, I expected to find the doors shut, but I entered the 6th floor office and took a number. Fifteen minutes later 409 was called and the friendly clerk processed my request for a replacement card. I thanked the clerk and the guard and the stars that somewhere in these United States something is normal. This is our America. ps I also ordered and received my passport good until 2035. This is our land from California to the New York Island - Woody Guthrie ps I call the White House every day to ask them the time. I haven't heard back from them yet.

Care For Some Chowdah, Bobby - 2009

My boss Manny hates me. I don't fear him or his threats to fire me. I'm not indispensable. Merely very cost-effective as well as one of his son's best friends. That be said I know blood is thicker than thieves and regard this run in the diamond exchange as a temporary distraction from my life of leisure.

"You haven't done a day of work since I hired you."

"The same could be said about you. All you do is shift papers from one side of your desk to the other and insult customers." Only this morning he called my main diamond broker a 'gonnif'. I couldn't put up with his kvetching and got my coat from the closet.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To get my lunch." I waved to Eliza Randolph. She was Richie Boy's partner. "Eliza, you want some chowdah."

"Chowdah from where?" Eliza attended UMASS-Amherst. We were good friends. Richie Boy had once hoped that the two of us became serious. Her father was glad that nothing came of our flirtation and in many ways so were we.

"The Oyster Bar where else?" The Grand Central Terminal institution had the best clam chowder this side of Boston's Route 128. Manny made a face. His mind had calculated the distance between our store and the Oyster Bar. "Don't worry, Manny, you don't have to pay for a thing."

"Don't get me nothing either."

"Who said I was in the first place?"

I left the store muttering under my breath. Our hourly tete-a-tetes were wearing on us. Manny was 80. I was going to be 58. Neither of us were young dogs. He was deaf and I was grumpy. His present state was my future destination, although my version of his age was set in Thailand at my teakwood farm. I indulged in this delusion on the ten minute walk to Grand Central, ignoring the slow-moving tourists. Without them the city would be as empty as the post-apocalyptical New York of I AM LEGEND, another zombie movie.

I turned off Madison onto 43rd Street. The syringe spire of Chrysler Building gleamed int he winter sun. I was used to the sounds of the city, but not dogs' barking. More than one. More than a dozen. The MTA cops had gathered their explosive and drug sniffing hounds to the Metro-North terminal to guard against a terrorist attack. Only the other day a Nigerian extremist attempted to down a NYC-bound flight by lighting his underwear on fire. He succeeded in setting himself on fire and complicating the travel plans of everyone going somewhere over the New Year's holiday.

The shepherd at the entrance to the terminal eyed me with suspicion. I had a half-joint in my pocket. A contribution to the cause by my fellow worker Hank. The dog growled and his master clocked me as harmless.

"Nice doggie."

"He ain't a doggie."

"Doggies are cows, right?" Same as all these cops. All wanting to be a hero. All wanting to stop someone from doing that something stupid. I smiled and descended into the terminal. Passengers were hurrying through awe-struck tourists from Schawillagah, PA. I might be older than most of them, but I still was impressed by that great open place and surveyed the crowds for anyone who might damaged it or the people within the terminal. My inspection gave GCT an all-clear visa from the danger of terrorism. I entered the Oyster Bar and sat at the counter. I called Eliza.

"Anything other than Chowdah?"

"Chowdah be just fine." Eliza sounded hungry. I ate my chowdah with haste. My counter mates were from the UK. They loved New York and loved the Oyster Bar. They said they felt safer here than in London.

"I got robbed in Soho last time I was in the Smoke." He and his family came from Plymouth. That port was on the way to Cornwall. I had friends up west. They didn't know them. I sopped up the last traces of chowder with a small roll and hurried back to the diamond exchange through the underground passages of Grand Central Terminal. They were no dogs at the exit onto 45th Street. Eliza was so happy to receive her chowdah that she kissed both my cheeks. Manny looked at me with disappointment. He was Jewish, but liked tref too. Maybe next time he would get lucky. Their chowder is damn good. No wicked good and you might as well enjoy your life as much as you can without worrying about another man's underwear.

They never taste good.

Tuesday, April 22, 2025

Burning in Hell


Written 8/22/2009

In 1842 William Miller announced the imminent end of the world. October 22, 1844 was the date selected by his follower, Samuel S. Snow. His congregation prepared for the coming of Christ for two years. The day came and went without Jesus appearing with his host of angels. The date was thereafter known as the Great Disappointment.

Evangelicals are divining apocalyptic signs from present events and born-agains are crying 'the end is nigh'. One advocate of doom is my friend, the model from Paris. Her mother was a devotee to Armageddon and as a girl the model from Paris questioned her mother about having to wearing 'The end is near' tee-shirt. Now nearing fifty the model has rejoined the familiar fold of 7th Day Adventism and emails me that I will burn in Hell for my sin of non-belief in God.

I asked if there were any other choices and her response was unwavering in its severity.

I don't understand your argumentation, THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END, and its going to be a full scale hideous tragedy, you will see, its never too late to repent OK? If you have time, before a tsunami wipes you out,

you are just that lazy frog type to lulled by comfort to move your ass before you get boiled as the water goes from lukewarm to boiling hot.

the sheep on drugs!!! I am talking to you about Jesus who has a message for you that you are just IGNORING, and you are telling me to calm down hahaha. Please spare me your condescendence, I have une calme olympian cheri......lol...

I'm sorry that you see fit to ignore the existence of God apparently because you lost some loved ones, Jesus said or you are with me or you are against me.

Its your choice, God gives you the freedom to reject him, and believe me you will regret this arrogance one day when you find yourself in front of him.

You don't stop to ask yourself for one second whether you may be wrong? Its a terrible choice to make,

I wouldn't be quite so cocksure buddy,

Lots of love

Burning In Hell

2016 From David Henderson: The most coherent explanation for global warming I have ever heard. Courtesy of Mr Peter Nolan Smith

"People have abandoned the Bible and now are going to hell in record numbers. Every year millions of American sinners are condemned to a blazing eternity. Most of these sinners are fat from eating at Mickey D's and TGIF. Many of these damned are obese. These record numbers of the tortured wicked beneath the Earth have increased the temperature of Hell. Fat sinners burn hot. Hell is hotter. The earth is hotter. Pure science. Repent Christians and save the planet from Climate Change.

As for atheists we don't go to Hell.

We chill in the limbo of nothingness.

Our Lady of Palm Beach MIA 2008

In the summer of 2008 I took care of an eight year-old Airedale in Palm Beach after my departure from Thailand. The owners had rescued her from a shelter. Pom Pom was a little crazy. She liked to growl at people and loved biting little manicured dogs. My friend Lisa thought Pom Pom was a frat dog raised by drunken frat boys abandoned after graduation from university, but judging from the scars on her head and tattered ears my vote was for a fight dog from a Riviera Beach crack house. Either way I kept Pom Pom around dogs or children or any other living creatures. I know she gets a little lonely with me as her only companion, however better than her mauling a Palm Beach heiress' poodle.

We walk on the beach. It's safer than the dog park in West Palm Beach.

No cars.

No dogs.

A few grey heron.

Our walk passed Donald Trump's Mar-O-Lago. The resort was deserted for the summer. All the cabanas were padlocked and the plastic flotsam gathered at the high tide mark without any beach boys raking the sand clean.

As we returned from our jaunt, I spotted a derelict woman scurrying from the bushes of Trump's estate. It was obvious her previous night's resting place had been in the bushes. Pom Pom's bark frightened her. Dogs were never too friendly with the homeless.

I yanked on Pom Pom's leash and shouted to the woman, "Hey."

She looked over her shoulder with eyes glazed by a long series of bad choices and she hurried toward wooden steps. Federal law allows access to the beach up to the high-tide mark, but every path was marked with NO TRESPASSING signs.

Trespassers were not allowed on property.

I was the exception.

"Don't go." I had $2 in my swimming trunks.

The old woman lifted her plastic bags to her chest like she feared Pom Pom might tear them from her grasp.

"I have some money for you."

These words stalled her flight and she turned around warily to face me from a distance of thirty feet. "That dog bite?"

"Probably." Pom Pom had snapped at me the other night. She wanted some of my hamburger. I didn't give her any. "But don't worry, you don't have to come here to get the money."

I placed the $2 under a shell.

"Thanks." She put down her bags. "I saw you the ther day. I thought you might call the cops on me. I don't like sleeping in the rough, but sleeping in the country jails ain't no picnic either. You don't look like you'd know anything about that."

"You're right." My last time in jail was in Bangkok three months ago and the Thai police had processed my papers in an air-conditioned office. "How long you been on the island?"

"Since the beginning of the low season," she spoke with a lisp. Her front teeth were stumps. "Not many rich people around, so I buy a week of food and live in the bushes. Gets a little scary at night with snakes and insects, but safer than the shelters. They're no bargain either."

"You speak with any of the rich people?"

"Damn, no." She shook her medusa nest of grey hair. "They don't give a shit for people like me haunting their lawns. And damn they're plenty enough ghosts hanging around these houses as it is."

"Ghosts?" I wondered about ghosts after the living room couch had moved a week earlier.

"Oh, yeah, plenty of ghosts from men shooting their cheating wives and women poisoning their husbands. Wandering the lawns like they 're looking for lost gold bracelet. Sometimes I check where they walk to see if there is some gold, but they don't even leave a footprint. Rich people are just as stingy dead as alive."

"My friends are okay."

"Yeah, try asking them for a million." She eyed Pom Pom, as if the dog read her mind. "They treat that dog better than they treat people. So you be careful of those ghosts."

"Where you headed?"

"Someplace the sun don't shine so hard and where the dogs are not too big." She snatched the money and wandered into the underbrush. She was gone and we resumed our walk. Pom Pom moaned and I patted her head. She was a good dog. A little crazy, but then again so is everyone these days.

Happy Earth Day Plus 1 - 2012

Lately I've been arguing that the age of the car is coming to an end.

Supporters of the meshing of fire, steel, and wheel guffaw at my prediction.

"Cars will always be with us." Older adults are adamant about our addiction to cars without recognizing the generational shift in progress.

"There are no cars in Star Trek, but there are trains," I counter without reservation. I am a firm believer in 'Live long and prosper', plus more young people are abandoning the car in favor of alternative transportation. According to a report in the New Republic "In 1976, three-quarters of all 17-year-olds had drivers' licenses. By 2008, that was down to 49 percent."

Once trolleys connected America.

The auto industry bought them and sold us cars.

Everything good comes to an end when it isn't good anymore.

Poor lil GTO.

Boston Trolley Map - deep into the last century

Earth Day 2009

This evening I drank organic vodka in celebration of Earth Day. The mixer was organic ginger ale. Glass bottles. A glass glass. No plastic. It went well with my Happy Meal #3.

Supposedly civilization started when hunter-gatherers discovered fermented fruits. One of them drank it. He survived and explained his out-of-the-body experience. The primitives understood that to achieve this euphoria with regularity they had to grow crops.

Thus the birth of agriculture.

Unless you believe in alien abduction.

The Last Tree in the World


The right have long suspected Global Warming as a propaganda device foisted on the masses to prevent them from riding SUVs, but these millions of fat people sweat too much, which is the main cause for the temperature rise. I'm also overweight, although most of it is beer bloat.

If you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem. I find myself using more toilet paper.

Why?

More food.

More shit.

More toilet paper and one day the world will run out of trees.

No toilet paper is only one of the losses from Global Warming.

The President of Exxon says that humans will adapt, but what about the dogs?

They need those trees, so you fat fucks out there and I'm one of them.

Wipe your ass less.

Monday, April 21, 2025

800,000 Years Ago

The last Ice Age ended 20,000 years ago.

Earth underwent a natural heating process for almost 19,800, but the atmosphere has been filled with carbon emission from the Industrial Age into the present Plague of Consumerism.

The last time the atmosphere had 400 ppm of carbon was 800,000 years ago.

Homo Sapiens did not exist, although Homo Erectus was wandering the globe from Africa to Europe and the Far East. The species was the first to use fire and tools. They were probably smarter than ugh-ugh. Modern man has a tendency to put down other races, despite Homo Erectus having survived over two million years.

The weather might have been like today.

We don't have the reports from the meteorologists of that forgotten time, however the coastal cities of this civilization is doomed even if mankind tries to rescue itself.

New York will be islands.

Bangkok, Miami, Shanghai, Venice will be flooded by the glacial melt from the South Pole and Greenland, yet global warming denialists are convinced that the change in the weather has nothing to do with the influence of man's greed.

Fat people in SUVs.

Football stadiums.

Air travel.

Potato chips.

All junk.

No one is willing to give it up.

No one.

Not even me with my Macbook and cellphone.

Electrical lights.

Transportation.

Probably a million other needs fueled by fossils.

Mea Culpa Mother Earth. Excuse-moi Home Erectus.

I'm sorry dear cosmos.

Foto by Gwen O Neil

To see how the world is changing, go to this URL

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/oct/30/global-atmospheric-co2-levels-hit-record-high

Sunday, April 20, 2025

420 - 2009

My introduction to marijuana came on a drive from Nantasket Beach in the summer of 1969. Frank E Smith (not my brother), Thommie Jordan, and John Gilmour were friends from the Surf, a dance club on the beach. We had just seen the Rockin' Ramrods, the South Shore's #1. They wanted to smoke marijuana on the way home. I was the hold-out.

"I don't want to get a contact high." My drug of choice was beer, wine, and any other form of alcohol. I turned the radio in my VW Beetle to WMEX. They played hippie music this late at night.

"Smoke it." John lit up a reefer. He attended Catholic Memorial. It was my school's archrival. "You'll feel good."

"Smoke it." Thommie Jordan played hockey for Archbishop Williams. He had long hair. His sister was cute. "It won't hurt you."

"Smoke it." Frank E Smith was heading into the Marines. He wanted to see the world. "Girls like it, especially that hippie girl from Weymouth you like. Susan Finn."

"She does?" I had spent the entire night trying to get her out to the beach.

"Yes, she does." A match flared before John's face. He inhaled off the joint and then passed it to the front. I took it from him and inhaled, ending my days as a straight person. Two minutes later we were stopped at a green light in Hingham. Time had reversed direction. I was ruined for society and glad of it.

FTW

And especially on 4/20, National Smoke Day.

420 wasn't the original choice for this holiday, however 4:20 was the mythical time that these pothead from San Rafael High School in California would meet at Louis Pasteur Statue to get high.

Hence 420.

Not much else to say other than I'm going out to break the law.

ps I haven't smoke in over three years. Health reasons, but I condoned breaking this federal law.

Defund the DEA.

It's time to free the weed.

If you got it, smoke it.

Easter Finery

My mother instilled in her children the desire to look good.

"It's one thing to be broke and quite another to look broke."

I got dressed up in her honor for Easter.

A suit and tie.

I'm sure that would make her happy in the Here-Before.

Now all I have to do is shave off the scruff.

Jesus' Tomb

"What is Jerusalem worth?" the bastard knight at the end of KINGDOM OF GOD asks Saladin, the leader of the Muslim army. 

"Nothing." Saladin answered and walked away, then turns and says, "Everything."

For centuries faith has determined the worth of Jerusalem for the Jews, Christians, and Muslims.

As an atheist I think they all believe what they believe to be true, but several years ago James Cameron, director of THE TERMINATOR series had declared his discovery of Jesus' tomb in Talpiot, Israeli neighborhood in southeastern Jerusalem, established in 1922 by Zionists and current site of the IDF's Talpiot scientific war program .

His DNA evidence attested to the veracity of his findings along with the suggestion that Jesus might have sired a son named Judah. 

Holy Jesus conspiracy freaks!

While an intransigent non-believer, I ascribe to the theory laid out in Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST purporting that Jesus and Magdalene had fled Judea for India. VS Naipul’s TRAVELS AMONGST THE BELIEVERS mentioned a tomb of Jesus in Kashmir. Supposedly the messiah lived to the ripe age of 124. The wounds never healed in his hands and feet. According to Wikipedia Jesus was buried at the Roza Bal shrine in the downtown area of Srinagar in Kashmir. The word roza means tomb, the word bal mean place. Locals believe a sage is buried here, Yuzasaf (alternatively Yuz Asaf or Youza Asouph), alongside another Muslim holy man, Mir Sayyid Naseeruddin.

The shrine was relatively unknown until the founder of the Ahmadiyya movement, Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, claimed in 1899 that it is actually the tomb of Jesus. This view is maintained by Ahmadis today, though it is rejected by the local Sunni caretakers of the shrine, one of whom said "the theory that Jesus is buried anywhere on the face of the earth is blasphemous to Islam.

Lastly according to Wikipedia a Shingō village in Japan contains what is purported to be the last resting place of Jesus, the so-called "Tomb of Jesus" (Kirisuto no haka), and the residence of Jesus' last descendants. The Sawaguchi family's claims that Jesus Christ did not die on the cross at Golgotha. Instead his brother, Isukiri took his place on the cross, while Jesus fled across Siberia to Mutsu Province, in northern Japan. Once in Japan, he changed his name to Torai Tora Daitenku, became a rice farmer, married a twenty-year old Japanese woman named Miyuko, and raised three daughters near what is now Shingō. While in Japan, it is asserted that he traveled, learned, and eventually died at the age of 106. His body was exposed on a hilltop for four years. According to the customs of the time, Jesus' bones were collected, bundled, and buried in the mound purported to be the grave of Jesus Christ.

I have a question for James Cameron.

"What is Jesus' Tomb worth?"

Everything or nothing or something in between?