Showing posts with label Big Al Harlow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Big Al Harlow. Show all posts

Thursday, June 5, 2025

Assicons 2008

Assicons

From Big Al in Pattaya ie Big Al’s Taco Stand

We all know those cute little computer symbols called ‘emoticons,’ where :) means a smile and :( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by :-) or :-(

Well, how about some ‘ASSICONS?’

Here goes: (_!_) a regular ass, (__!__) a fat ass (!) a tight ass, (_*_) a sore ass, {_!_}, a swishy ass, (_o_) an ass that’s been around, (_x_) kiss my ass, (_X_) leave my ass alone, (_zzz_) a tired ass, (_E=mc2_) a smart ass, (_$_) Money coming out of his ass, (_?_) Dumb Ass

Sunday, February 9, 2025

Oliver Stone Film Stop in Chiang Mai - 2007

My hillbilly girlfriend and I moved to the East Village in 1978. The twenty-two year-old blonde actress came from West Virginia and I hailed from New England. Alice was in the theater like Bill, our upstairs neighbor. I wrote poetry. One day Bill announced that he had been cast in a western called HEAVEN'S GATE.

"A small role."

"Better than no role."

I was happy for Bill and wished him luck.

The opening day I went uptown to see the film at the Paris Cinema of Wests 58th Street. First showing. Michael Cimino's sprawling tale of the West was based on the Johnson County War sprawled across the silver screen. I tried to spot Bill. I didn't see his face once and he later told me, "My scenes ended up on the floor, but I have another gig."

"As what?"

"As a biker."

"A biker?" I loved motorcycles, even though I had only driven a Vespa once.

"Yeah, down in Georgia."

"EASY RIDER country."

Billy and Captain America from Dennis Hopper's road movie ended up badly in Dixie.

"Ill be fine, plus EAST RIDER was just a movie."

Bill starred as Vince in THE LOVELESS.

I like it a lot.

Alice and I broke up in 1979.

In 1983 she was cast as a hapless victim opposite David Bowie's vampire in THE HUNGER. Bill was also in the movie. She died in the first scene. I didn't see Bill's face in that movie either.

I saw the film in Paris, where I worked as a doorman at a nightclub.

New York wasn't my city that decade.

A year later Bill played an evil biker in STREETS OF FIRE.

I had a Vespa 150 in Paris.

STREETS OF FIRE remains my older brother's favorite film and Frunk is a lawyer.

Bill had a feel for outlaw roles.

Over the next few years he played an LA counterfeiter, a Viet-Nam War sergeant, a military investigator in Sai-Gon, the Messiah, a Concetration Camp boxer, and a Viet-Nam War cripple.

"You died three times. How did that feel?" I asked him during a passage through Paris.

"Not so bad, plus I rose from the dead in the Jesus one."

"Only to be crucified again."

"Never felt a thing."

In the 90s I quit the nightlife and worked selling diamonds on Manhattan's West 47th Street.

The Shabbas Goy, but I was a sheygutz to the Hassidim.

A shifty gentile.

Bill and I didn't see each other too much.

He had a wife, a kid, a career on screen and the stage.

Bill had acted in twenty-one movies in that decade. VICTORY a tale from Joseph Conrad had been shot in Java. Each year I spent six months in the Orient writing novels. I had hoped to run into Bill out there, but our paths didn't cross, until we met in Maine.

My family came from outside Portland. Bill had a camp on a lake. We went fishing at night and I realized we had been friends a long time.

In 2000 Bill was nominated for an Oscar a second time. He had nailed the role of an legendary actor Max Schrek, a vampire, in SHADOW OF A VAMPIRE. The stench of the grave wafted through the cinema whenever he was on the screen, but he finished out of the running at the Academy Awards ceremony.

I watched the movie in Thailand. My girlfriend Porn had won Worst Girlfriend of the Year in Pattaya and I thought Bill and her looked the same, even if he had been bald in the movie.

Later that year I escaped her vampire hold, but only just.

After 9/11 I left the USA. Thailand became my home. I had a baby with Nu. We lived along the Gulf of Siam and I ran a fake F1 merchandise website, which was # 1 in Google and this was not a good thing. Too many corporations looking for me. Marlboro sued me for $250,000. I settled for a final phone, saying, "Come find me."

Bill came out there for a film festival with his new wife. Gaida was sweet. Bill knew how to make a scary face.

After all he had been a vampire.

I was scary other ways.

Bill never asked how.

Bill made even more films in the 00s. He was called 'the actors' actor'. I didn't see much of his work. Thailand had its own cinema; ghosts, soap operas, and slapstick comedies.

They liked things simple like the laughter scene in SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS.

The Thai cyper-Police arrested me in 2008.

For the crime of copyright infringement.

Ferrari had hoped for me to do time in the monkey house.

The Thai court fined me $100.

In their eyes I was a good farang.

Bill was no criminal.

He spoke with directors, cameramen, soundpeople, and everyone else in that industry and they loved him for being Bill.

I spoke with everyone. The good the bad and the in-between.

My first wife left me. I found someone else. We had a baby too.

I had two families now.

That April I flew back to the States.

Bill invited me to a premiere at Lincoln Center.

I slept through the entire film.

It was a good film for me.

I liked sleep almost as much as motorcycles.

Work got scarce after the Crash.

Bill was in a bunch of films.

Some of them I liked.

I loved THE HUNTER and said, "It's the first time I've ever seen you in a film."

"Really?"

"Yes."

At least he didn't ask how, but we are old friends.

Never on the screen.

Never on the stage.

Just in real life.

Bill's a grandfather now.

Seems like only twenty years ago that his son was a young boy in Maine.

And my family is ever bigger. My first wife reurned adn our family with my second wife consists of five children and two grandchildren. I left no one, becauase at the end of the day or night only family and friends matters.

It's the way of the world, both here and everywhere.

One more small thing.

Bill looks good in a cowboy hat.

But so does everyone else.

Especially when you have friends in the movies.

Monday, November 10, 2014

MY LIFE by Big Albert Harlow

MY LIFE

Sometimes I wonder what happened to my youth As I look in the mirror and see the truth My heart becomes heavy as I see the grey hair Time has marched on and it doesn’t seem fair It seemed like only yesterday I was young and life was free I had no idea what was in store for me I believed I was invincible and nothing could bring me down But somehow my life got turned around I traded my freedom for a cell of concrete and bars I spent too many years without seeing the stars My spirit was crushed and my heart turned to stone I was surrounded by killers and gangsters, yet still I was alone My love for the world slowly turned to hate Patiently I waited for the day they would open the gate That day finally came and I took my turn But not for long, I had so much to learn When they let me out my world had moved on I had nowhere to go, everything was gone The system is designed for people to fall They gave me 200 bucks and no hope at all But I was too young to give up and die Yet I felt I was too old to cry So I picked up a gun and robbed gangsters and thugs I took all their money and then took their drugs I lived my life hard and fast Letting my guard down was a thing of the past I did what I did so I could survive Right or wrong I am still alive I played with fire and many times burned Life’s lessons were hard, but finally learned I left my home and traveled around I stopped in Asia and finally settled down Married to a lovely wife who gave me a beautiful son And when he is older I will tell him about the things I have done So he may know what not to do I will teach him to be smart and always think things through And it doesn’t matter who you are or where you’ve been It’s not the tough guy, but the smart guy who knows how to win.

Albert Harlow 2014

A gentle gunman although not in his day.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Fight Club Pussies

A couple of years ago Big Al told me about a bar in the Valley.

"Where people like to fight. You wanna go?" Big Al and I had met in Pattaya. It was the Last Babylon on Earth.

"Do I have to fight?"

"No, you can watch, you pussy." Big Al was 300 plus and 5-11. His arms were bigger than my thighs and his thighs were larger than my chest.

"Good." I had no problem with him calling me a pussy. Big Al robbed meth dealers. It was good to have him as a friend.

After a twenty minute ride from Sunland, Big Al directed me to an industrial zone. Pick-ups and Harleys were parked on the sub-bleached street. I got out of the rented car and almost walked into the first floor.

"Not here." The extreme fighter led us upstairs. A crowd was drinking beer and watching the cctv from the first floor.

You only go there if you want a fight and you have 30 seconds to start one or else you get the shit kicked out of you. Watch."

Ten seconds later two men fisted hard knuckles into their skulls. The fight lasted almost a minute. The losser bought the winner a drink.

"You wanna a try? Winner drinks for free."

"Not a chance." I knew my limits, but Big Al said, "I'll be back in a minute."

T 300-pounder lumbered down the stairs.

Five seconds later he entered the first-floor bar and took on everyone there. A minute later he came back upstairs not even out of breath.

"Pussies." Big Al was tougher than a bag of bricks, but like THE FIGHT CLUB he mentioned this bar to anyone and I don't know where it was.

Someplace in the Valley and that's a big place and Big Al is a big man.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE by A. L. Harlow

My good friend AL Harlow aka Big Al has published his memoir online. Here's the opening; WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE by A. L. Harlow When I began writing this I was at a loss for the reasons why. Why would I open myself up again to all those feelings from years of being lost, broken, imprisoned and nearly killed? I felt I needed to get my story out in hopes that it could help people who have problem children and are ready to throw in the towel. If you have a child, or children —regardless of their age—who are incorrigible, hyperkinetic and argumentative, or have teenage drug users I say, do not give up on them.

Don’t leave them for society to deal with because its institutions will only extract their pound of flesh and fill their hearts with hate. Your job is to provide the family safety-net they need while growing up to catch them when they fall. Your job is to give them the tools they will need to succeed in life and to love them unconditionally.

Many people who will read my story may miss this point and instead believe they are to judge me, but judgment day for me has come and gone; it no longer matters what people think of me. I believe I’m a good person who has done some bad things and for those of you whom I have hurt in the past please accept my apologies because they are sincere. For those of you who have lied and used the courts to punish me based on your lies, I’m only sorry to have met you.

So as I go through a mental checklist of what I should write about, I realize that if I’m to use my past as a guide for what not to do, then I need to tell the whole story, no matter how painful.

In the beginning I was a willful, hyperactive child and was dealt a bad hand in life, but as I grew up to be a young man and stood at the crossroads of life on my own feet, I could see only one way to go. This direction always brought me to the same destination, but somehow I felt a perverse sense of pride for living my life as I wanted, no matter how twisted. My role models were gangsters, thugs, outlaws and drug dealers. As time went on I became respected and even feared by these same people.

Near-death experiences were common with my lifestyle, but one day something happened that changed my whole life. I had an accident that would have killed most people. According to Buddhist philosophy I had seen the face of death and this changed me.

This time when I returned to my crossroads I could see there were so many more directions, but by now I was the president of a well-known, notorious outlaw motorcycle organization. People just don’t walk away from this life. I did. The men who I once called brothers tried to kill me. They put a contract on my life. Things got really dirty when a hang-around club girl made accusations against me to the cops. The plan was to get me busted so they could kill me in prison.

The feds took this opportunity to tell me they could make it all go away. If I helped them, they would help me. I was trying to change my life, but being an informant was not the direction I was looking to go. I took a two-year deal and stayed on the main yard with only a couple of attempts on me when I arrived. At just under six feet tall, 300 (solid) pounds and no stranger to prison life they quickly learned to leave me alone. I hit a guy so hard he lost his four front teeth. I shattered his nose and cheekbone with one punch. The message was simple: “leave me alone”.

I had dug myself a hole so deep that changing my life was nearly impossible, but I kept on. Life’s many disappointments (and there are many when you start with nothing but a long list of failures) at times weakened my resolve and I found comfort in consuming whatever narcotics I could get my hands on. My addiction welcomed me back like an old lover.

When I was unemployed and needed to get high I would look for dealers I didn’t know or like and just take what I wanted. But inside I knew this had to change and I began to dig myself out of my labyrinth of holes and tunnels. I've known Big Al for a number of years. Mostly from Pattaya. I love his writing. He knows the truth and doesn't flinch from its reflection. Lives like his offer a maze of traps. Few can escape. To buy WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE by A.L. Harlow please go to the following URL /www.amazon.com/dp/B007JB1P9I/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_dp_pD3Eqb16QDTHH/183-7233622-7206400