Showing posts with label jane birkin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jane birkin. Show all posts

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Hate/Love l’Histoire de Melody Nelson 2013

I have always considered L'HISTOIRE DE MELODY NELSON as one of the most provocative pop LPs of the 70s. Serge Gainsbourg's opera musically melanged JG Ballard's CRASH and LOLITA into an opera of sexual authenticity. The accompanying video is a gem with Jane Birkin playing Melody to the hilt.

I was thinking about her and wondered if Serge was a voyeur.

I googled his name and voyeurism, finding this 2006 internet entry by Melita Teale;

Why I Hate l’Histoire de Melody Nelson

Fuck Serge Gainsbourg, that fucking voyeur pedophile satyromaniac. What sort of man writes a concept album about knocking a teenager off her bike with a Rolls, giving her piggyback rides, deflowering her, and mourning her subsequent death in an aeroplane accident?

What sort of a worm of a Svengali records his young girlfriend Jane Birkin having a shockingly piggy orgasm on track six to flesh it out? Not to mention having her photographed with the most lamentable cameltoe in rock ’n’ roll history for the album cover – while she’s topless and holding a teddy.

Talk about objectification. How can he so objectify a fifteen-year-old with a line like ‘une poupée qui perd l’équilibre, la jupe retroussée sur ses pantalons blancs... (A doll who lost her balance, her skirt pushed up over her white leggings)’?

With his googly eyes and hideous looks, of course Gainsbourg would have fantasized about some poor disinterested ‘agréable petite conne’ of a virgin who would fall hard enough for him to let him take advantage of her.

And he sang on the album about as well as Leonard Cohen sings now. Except Gainsbourg actually tried to carry a tune.

Melita didn't hold back any punches, but then went on to write the following;

Why I Love l’Histoire de Melody Nelson

My god, Serge Gainsbourg made an enchantingly beautiful album about being a voyeur pedophile satyromaniac. I’m reminded of a story about Paul McCartney making a bet about being able to write a song about anything and coming up with one from Picasso’s obituary. Except it embarrasses me to compare Melody Nelson with anything that came out of Paul McCartney.

Can I recommend an album this evil? Well... I recommend it like I recommend Italian strippers or hash oil. You’ll feel dirty, but if it’s your sort of thing you’ll like it. Outside of Jane Birkin squealing there’s nothing pornographic about its sounds; the lines quoted above are the naughtiest. I don’t write that to defend the album; I write that to exclaim over how the world of longing here is all the more artful for not being solely physical.

Not one wasted word or note – they all take you right into the heart of a hard but besotted man who believes the girl he’s obsessed with is both a straightforward simpleton and an unearthly, irresistible force that he can never understand.

His voice, crappy though it is, manipulates. In the "Valse de Melody", where he carries the tune as well as he can, the seconds where it breaks and snaps show us more desire than Ang Lee managed in three boring hours about star-crossed sheep herders sniffing each other’s shirts.

And the arrangement is flawless. This being Serge Gainsbourg, the hero of French pop, and it being the '70s, he got an orchestra to use as a simple backing to his vocal crackling and to the three piece band that drives the action and the tune.

He uses the orchestra not wastefully, but as one big ambient instrument helping beautifully bury the listener in the narrator’s perturbing emotions, letting the whole thing seem like a desperate quest not just to possess but to love.

Right on Melita with the love/hate thing, because Serge Gainsbourg is too complicated to simply choose between love or hate.

Moi, je l'adore.

Saturday, June 8, 2024

Birkin Bag Hong Kong -2017

In 2017 I was commissioned by the Aide De Camp of an Arab prince to deliver a $100,000 Hermes Birkin bag to a Hong Kong banker. $2000 plus flights hotel and a trip to see my family in Thailand.

I flew from NYC to HK empty-handed and picked up the bag at an auction house in HK. After a swift examination I delivered the Birkin bag to its final destination three blocks away without ever meeting the banker. I received a signed receipt and walked to the Star Ferry and crossed the Perfumed Harbor to my hotel in Kowloon.

Crossing the Perfumed Harbor I looked at the distant hills.

China.

I knew Yunnan and Szechuan.

I had dumplings in Kowloon.

The next day I was on the Rayong Beach with my family.

A drifter's life.

Tuesday, January 23, 2024

The Eternal Ugliness Of Serge

I've succeeded at everything except my life. I know my limits. That's why I'm beyond. I like the night, I have clearer ideas in the dark. I prefer ugliness to beauty, because ugliness endures. I am incapable of mediocrity. Ugliness is superior to beauty because it lasts longer.

Serge Gainsbourg

And let's not forget the immortal Pacadis.

Moi et Pacadis 1985

Ah Paris.

The City of Light.

Jane Birkin on Proust

My mother was right. When you've got nothing left, all you can do is get into silk underwear and start reading Proust. - Jane Birkin

Personally I wasn't able to read past the opening line of A LA RECHERCHE DU TEMPS PERDU.

"For a long time I used to go to bed early."

I never went to sleep early in my youth, but if I did then it was to dream of Jane Birkin in a silk underwear.

Even better was to dream of her with nothing at all and that included Serge Gainsbourg, because something tells me that the Grand Pif was no voyeur.

Sunday, July 16, 2023

HISTOIRE DE MELODIE NELSON by Serge Gainsbourg

Music sucked in Pattaya. Old farangs sing HOTEL CALIFORNIA and bar girls dance to boy band love ballads, while Thai bands play dinosaur rock for drunken tourists.

Nothing was wrong with a bad reprise of SMOKE ON THE WATER, except I once hung out in nightclubs and bars in which music meant more than a tune you can sing while drinking beer with your mates, hoping the Viagra will work with your new missus. Pattaya certainly doesn’t have a bar close to Max's Kansas City, where you could see the Jam, MC5, or Iggy.

Not even close and none of the geezers here care, because most Pattaya farangs are so low-class that their mental playlist is whatever was playing on their car radio i.e. muzak for 9-to-5 existences and none of them ever heard Serge Gainsbourg's HISTOIRE DE MELODIE NELSEN.

And that’s too bad, because this 26-minute masterpiece set a high-water mark in 1971.

Forget the sexy French lyrics.

Forget Jane Birkin's breathy interpretation, for her daughter, Charlotte, was sexier in LEMON INCEST.

Dig how the guitar and bass weaved a groove unattainable in this modern world on pre-packaged CDs, as Serge crooned his tale of a Lolita sans the fear of moral outrage. This concept album wiped the floor with the Beatles' SERGEANT PEPPER.

But they were no longer a band in 1971, but they must have spun this record and said, “We fucked up.”

Horrible to know you will never write anything as good as HISTOIRE OF MELODIE NELSEN.

Worse is to copy the LP like Beck, a talented plagiarist, because he was no Jean-Claude Vannier, who arranged the 33 rpm disc for Serge, who was the ugliest man in Christendom, yet ended up with Jane Birkin as his sex slave.

The two of them might have had Jimmie Page play lead guitar. That was the rumor, but the riff sounded nothing like his solos with Led Zeppelin or the Yardbirds.

Understated and raw leaving you asking for more of 15 year-old girls on bicycles, Rolls-Royce, defloweration and a dirge about Melodie dying in a plane crash.

Not 9/11.

It was genius and I advised anyone with any musical taste to pick up this chef d’ouvres, for a song with the line ‘une poupée qui perd l’équilibre, la jupe retroussée sur ses pantalons blancs… (A doll who lost her balance, her skirt pushed up over her white leggings) wasn’t getting any radio play on the American Oldies station.

Not this year.

But I got it on right now

Midnight. Gin-tonic. Dark outside.

Melodie Nelson.

The LP should have been a big hit, except French music has failed to dent the US charts. The only excursion into the Top Ten was by the Singing Nun with her 1963 hit DOMINIQUE. The language was a problem. No teenager wants to dance to music whose lyrics need subtitles.

Tant pis or too bad, because French music has produced hundreds of great songs by Alain Bashung, Lizzie Mercier Descloux, Jane Birkin, Manu Chao, Julien Clerc, Etienne Daho, Jacno, Jacques Dutronc, France Gall, Françoise Hardy, Indochine, Marc Lavoine, Vanessa Paradis, Les Rita Mitsouko, Alain Souchon, Les têtes raides, Tahiti 80, Téléphone, Sylvie Vartan ad infinitum.

And of course Serge Gainsbourg.

Recently I searched to find their names of the musicians and someone added them to Wikpedia.

# Alan Parker - guitar
# Herbie Flowers - bass
# Douglas Wright - drums
# Alan Hawkshaw - piano
# Jean-Claude Vannier - arrangements, Orchestra Director
# Jane Birkin - vocal parts (and posed for front cover art)

A belated thanks to them for the hours of listening to a gem.

To hear Melodie Nelson go to the following URL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X5LwFCHNe4