Fake Cops in Pattaya

Several years back when I was living in the East Village, I bought a slice of pizza on 9th Street and crossed over to 10th on Stuyvesant Street. I had eaten the pizza down to the crust and intended to finish it off, except a car blew the stop sign and nearly smashed into me. The window was open, so I threw the remaining pizza at the driver. It hit him in the face. The car braked with a screech and the driver jumped out to chase me. I wasn't running because he pulled a badge and New York cops love shooting fugitives, real and imaginary.

"You piece of shit!" He threw me against the iron fence of the St. Mark's Church cemetery.

"Me?" I pushed him back. "You ran a stop sign and almost killed me."

"Let me see ID." He was shorter than me. In fact he was shorter than the 5-4 height set by the NYPD standards.

"Let me see your ID again." I had a good suspicion that his badge was a comp. One the cops give friends of the force to get them out of speeding tickets and possession for small amounts of drugs.

"I'm not showing you any badge." He backed off to the car. His girlfriend was yelling for him to get going. They drove off and blew the light at 2nd Avenue. He was no cop and this morning the same thing happened to my mia noi in Jomtien.

Mam was sitting outside of her apartment waiting for the food carts to roll by. Everyone who had to be at work was gone and the street was quiet. Her aunt was asleep in the back room and her uncle was working upstairs on a toilet. A single motorcycle cruised down the soi and stopped before Mam. She was feeding milk to her baby, Fenway. The man got of his bike and showed an ID claiming to be the police. He wanted to see Mam's ID.

"Why? I haven't done anything wrong." Mam was scared. Thai police can do whatever they want.

"Doesn't matter. If I want to see your ID, I want to see your ID."

Mam handed over her card. The man in his forties accused her of smoking ja-bah.

"I don't smoke ja-bah. I have a baby."

Mam is skinny. Always has been. The man interrogated her about her working on Walking Street. Whether she had a farang boyfriend. Said he wanted to search her room.

"If I want to make you trouble, I can make you trouble."

It was only 8am and no one else was around on the soi, but Mam asked to see his ID again. It had no photo. She asked where his gun was.

"I don't need a gun. I'm undercover." He grabbed her arm.

At this moment her uncle showed up and asked what was the problem. The fake cop got on his bike and drove off. Someone later said that this impostor had tried to pretend he was a cop. Maybe he was an ex-cop.

"He smelled of whiskey. My uncle said he wanted money." Mam gave him none.

So beware of fake cops and even be more scared of real ones. These are tough times and bribes are going to be more expensive than before.

The Thai word for bribe is sin bon.