Penang Funicular

In 1993 I was stranded in Penang, Malaysia. The magazine for which I had been writing a series of stories about SE Asia had folded without buying my return ticket to the States. I had enough money to stay at the Swiss Hotel $3/night, eat at the Chinese and Indian restaurants on Chulia Street, and drink beer at the Hong Kong bar.

In those days making a phone call to Europe was difficult, but I finally reached Sam Royalle, who said he would wire the money. A week went by and then a second. I couldn't get in touch with him. I was down to my last $100 dollars and thinking about shipping out on a tramp steamer when the wire finally arrived at the bank.

I celebrated by taking the Penang Hill Funicular to the summit. The tram ascended from the tropical city to the heavily forested mountaintop. The temperature dropped at every stage and on arrival I was actually cold. A difficult proposition near the equator.

The best attraction other than the view was the walk through the treetops on suspended bridges. Nothing like it in Thailand and I made a point of visiting the tram during every visa run to Penang.

But in 2009 this venerable funicular was threatened by renovation. Stations and trains were to be replaced by new designs, so that the travel time to the top is a mere 10 minutes rather than the luxurious 30 minutes of the original tram.

Outcry from sentimentalists and traditionalists had protested this move as unnecessary, contenting that refurbishing the old trams was economically and environmentally viable.

Personally I say, "If it ain't broke don't fix it." and I liked most everything the way it was and that goes for me too, since I was considering a neck tuck costing $6000 at a Bangkok Hospital. I intended instead to save the money for a motorcycle. That always makes an old guy look young, unless he wears leather. Then it looks like an old geezer on a bike.

Something very unnatural.

Protests aside, in Asia if something was planned and the money was there, then it was goodbye to the old.

In 2010 the renovations were completed on the Penang Funicular.

Progress, but more like improvements, so if you're in Penang head over to the Funicular, the best ride this side of the Staten Island Ferry.

A Bigger Broom - Tioman Island 1993

In 1993 I went to Tioman island in Malaysia. beautiful beach. remote. jungle. A Western woman came into the restaurant crying that a lizard was in her bathroom. I laughed thinking it was a gecko and grabbed a broom. I went to her bungalow and opened the bathroom to discover a giant monitor lizard over a meter long. I slammed shut the door and said, "I need a bigger broom."

You Bet I Would - The Ritz In Paris

Hotels in Paris are very sexy.

Especially with naked models in the lobby.

STEVEN MEISEL
Kristen McMenamy, Ritz Paris, 1993

You Bet I Would - The Ritz In Paris

Hotels in Paris are very sexy. Especially with naked models in the lobby. STEVEN MEISEL Kristen McMenamy, Ritz Paris, 1993

Tubes in Bali

Bali 1993. Richie boy and I hired a guide to take us to this spot. The aussie swore it was surfable. We looked at the break. The waves were double-overhead, but we saw coral heads above the water. Richie Boy and I said 'no go'. The aussie said we were wimps. he took off on the first wave and stoved in his ribs on a gnarly coral head. He came out of the water holding his side. "Mates, I was wrong." Richie Boy and I agreed with him and took him to the hospital. He was a good Aussie and shared the painkillers with us. The bar at Tubes was much better that way.