Thai No Nos

Last night I left Chinatown and surveyed the skyline shimmering under a clear sky dotted by the few stars strong enough to pierce New York's light umbrella. It was hot and sweat dripped from my hair and I thought that my last hair-cut had been in Thailand.

Three months ago.

I could trim my scalp later, then I remembered Mam's warning that you shouldn't cut your hair at night and never on Wednesday. The rising moon would be setting in Sri Racha. I phoned across the globe. My wife sleepily told me that both were against Thai tradition. I hung up for her to return to sleep and continued walking over the Brooklyn Bridge, wondering how this prohibition came into being.

Upon reaching my top-floor apartment in Fort Green I sat at my MacBook Pro.

A search of Google revealed nothing about the edict against cutting hair at night, although I suspected it has something to do with the night-cutter's night vision, however a website suggested that the Wednesday ban can be attributed to the centuries of the royal family having their hair trimmed on Wednesday during the day and commoners i.e. serfs are banned from any royal behavior.

Only trusted stylists were allowed this privilege to avoid the theft of the noble hair for the purpose of magic.

The tradition was also steeped with superstition, but then I'm half-Irish and we believe in leprechauns.

Other Thai Superstitions:

(1) Don't whistle at night because you will invite ghosts into your house. (2) Don't let women eat chicken feet because they will have an affair (3) Do not let pregnant women whistle because her baby will have a crooked mouth (4) Do not allow an adult pay respect to a child (wai) because that child will have a shortened life (5) Do not joke while you are eating because the ghost will steal your rice (6) Do not cover your head when you go to a temple because this will make you bald (7) Do not sharpen a knife at night time because you will offend the angels (8) Do not look at naked people because your eyes will become swollen (9) Do not have sexual intercourse on holy days (wan phra) because bad things will happen. (10) Do not let the bride and the groom meet three days before the wedding because their marriage will not last (11) Do not smile while sowing corn because it won't grow (12) Do not stand in a doorway because a ghost will enter the house (13) Do not sew at night because the ghost will haunt you (14) Do not throw money away because you will lose your finger (15) Do not sing while you are eating because the ghost will curse you. Of course most farangs don't believe in superstitions. Only the Irish are smart enough to know better.

Bird's Nest

The Chinese delicacy 'bird's nest soup' is derived from the bird's nest constructed with the saliva of swifts. The cost of such a delicacy can cost between $30-10,000US per kilo. I've never had a bowl of such soup, however Mam called my hairdo a bird's nest or lan-nok last week.

I hadn't cut my hair since December. The last time I was in Thailand. Five months growth wasn't impressive, but I will be heading out to California and I'm keeping my bird's nest as I return to hippie status.

Even as much as I love Mem. And not only in words.

"Almost cut my hair today." Crosby Stills and Nash.

Thai Hair-Cut No No

Several years ago I walked over the Brooklyn Bridge to a party in Nolita. The city skyline shimmered under a sky dotted by the few stars brilliant enough to pierce New York's light umbrella. Tourists flashed photos in the dark and the bridge hummed with the passage of cars and trucks. The night was bitter cold and I pulled down my hat tight, thinking that my last hair-cut had been in Thailand.

Two months ago.

There was a hair stylist in Chinatown, which cost $10.

Once off the bridge I walked north, passing through City Hall. The sidewalks were empty and I looked to the East, thinking about the rising moon. It would be setting in Thailand with the sun rising in the east. My son and his mother were asleep in Sriracha, then I remembered Mam saying that you shouldn't cut your hair at night and never on Wednesday.

I phoned to make sure.

"No cut hair on Wednesday. Only king can get hair cut on wan-poud and never cut hair at night. Bad luck."

"Thanks for that." I left her go back to sleep and once I returned from the party I went online to search for an edict against nocturnal hair-cuts. Nothing appeared on Google, although I suspected that the superstition was based on the night-vision of a barber. A further search revealed that Mam was right about the interdiction against Wednesday coiffures, since for centuries the royal family have had their hair trimmed on Wednesday during the day and commoners ie serfs are banned from mimicking any royal behavior.

Only trusted stylists were allowed this privilege to avoid the theft of the noble hair for the purpose of magic.

I have yet to had my hair cut.

It's getting long.

Other Thai Superstitions:

(1) Don’t whistle at night because you will invite ghosts into your house.
(2) Don’t let women eat chicken feet because they will have an affair
(3) Do not let pregnant women whistle because her baby will have a crooked mouth
(4) Do not allow an adult pay respect to a child (wai) because that child will have a shortened life
(5) Do not joke while you are eating because the ghost will steal your rice
(6) Do not cover your head when you go to a temple because this will make you bald
(7) Do not sharpen a knife at night time because you will offend the angels
(8) Do not look at naked people because your eyes will become swollen
(9) Do not have sexual intercours on holy days (wan phra) because bad things will happen.
(10) Do not let the bride and the groom meet three days before the wedding because their marriage will not last
(11) Do not smile while sowing corn because it won’t grow
(12) Do not stand in a doorway because a ghost will enter the house
(13) Do not sew at night because the ghost will haunt you
(14) Do not throw money away because you will lose your finger
(15) Do not sing while you are eating because the ghost will curse you.

And there's plenty more where those come from.