Magic Carpets Over Persia

As a child I had been entranced the the legend of the magic carpet. My mother thought I was funny sitting on the carpet in the living room, trying to fly it like a plane. I was not kidding, so when my father came home from work in April of 1965 to say that his company, Ma Bell, had offered him a transfer to Iran.

"Persia?"

"They call it Iran now."

The oil-rich country needed skilled communication engineers and my father was one of the best in New England. He sat down my mother and his six children at the kitchen table and proposed that we go overseas for several years.

"It will be a unique experience and the money will be better than here."

"When do we go?" My enthusiasm was sparked by having read THE RUBIYAT OF OMAR KHAYYAM and the Arabian Nights as well as my eternal desire to get the hell out of the suburbs and dreamed of flying on a magic carpet. Iran used to be Persia. The ruler was called the Shah. The religion was Islam. We would be infidels, which was fine by me.

"We'd leave in the summer." My father unloosened his tie and looked to my mother.

"What about school?"

She had okayed our move from Maine to be closer to her family and have us attended parochial schools.

"There are first-class schools set up for Americans. There are tens of thousands of us there."

My father liked to travel. Every other weekend he packed us into the family station wagon for a trip to an historical site or mountain or beach.

"What about our friends?" my older brother asked the question which I had been fearing.

My younger sisters and brothers chorused the same demand.

"You won't remember your friends in five years," I shouted at them. I was the biggest son. My older brother was only older.

"Like you forgot Shane." This was a cruel blow. My older brother knew how to play dirty.

"That's different." Shane and I were best friends. He had drowned five years ago in Sebago Lake. We had vowed never to go swimming if we weren't together. I had yet to forgive myself.

"No different. Friends are friends." My older brother liked our hometown. He was attending the best all-boy's parochial high school next year. "I didn't get straight As to go to a school half way across the world.".

"I know." My mother expected the same from me. She wanted me to be a priest. I had yet to tell anyone that I was an atheist.

"But Dad said the schools are very good in Iran."

I looked to the Maine native for a dictatorial mandate, except my father had fought in WWII to save democracy and he said, "All those in favor of going to Iran, raise their right hand."

My father and I were the only two in favor.

"All those opposed."

My mother, brothers, and sisters formed a bloc of five. My father refused to veto the majority vote and he put down my mother's arm. She was never going to leave Boston. The change of season was in her blood and our family finished out the19 60s on the South Shore.

My first excursion off the North American continent was to London in 1978. My girlfriend was a blonde model from Buffalo. Some nights she stayed out late with the fashion photographers. My next-door neighbor was an Iranian. His father had been executed by Savak. Mustaf and I drank beer at a bar in Fulham. His friends educated me to the evils of the Shah. I joined them in demonstrations against his regime without telling my girlfriend. Lisa didn't like Muslims, because their mistreatment of women. Mustaf was a communist. He believed in rights for everyone.

I believed the same, until the Shah was overthrown and the student radicals seized hostages at the US embassy in Teheran.

America was America and I was an American.

"Bomb 'em."

The Pentagon tried to free the hostages and failed in the desert.

Jimmy Carter was defeated by Ronald Reagan, who had backdoored an agreement with the mullahs to withhold release of the hostages, so that he could win the presidency.

"We do not deal with terrorists." Old Dutch swore to the country, as his underlings sold arms to the Revolutionary Guards, while supporting Saddam in a desert war.

GW Bush declared Iran to be an Axis of Evil and their president's constant barrage of threat against Israel has racketed the tension of war in the Gulf to a code red danger zone. CNN, NBC, Fox News and all the other right-wing news organization are reporting the build-up of forces to prevent the Iranians from having a nuclear bomb, as if Armageddon was a fait accompli.

"We have built a wide range of options to give the president and we are ready... We are ready today," Vice Admiral Mark Fox said at the headquarters of the 5th Fleet in Manama on Sunday.

"We were ready yesterday." Iran countered on their TV.

And the price of oil soared over the $100/barrel mark enriching Big Oil.

There is no such thing as a free magic carpet ride, although Steppenwolf came close in the late 60s.

To hear MAGIC CARPET RIDE please go to this URL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dFgZy5dRVo&feature=related

Anti-Mullah Fun

Ever since Ayatollah Kohmeni returned from exile to oust the Shah, the Mullahs in Iran have proscribed fun from the lives of the common folk.

No music, no dancing, no drinking, no nothing have transformed the Shah's secular state into a Land of No stricter than the New Jersey Shore or Tulsa, Oklahoma, however Iranians often leave the Islamic Republic to escape the enforced morality of the Police Guidance Patrols.

Several years ago their love of personal freedom was redlighted in Jomtien, when Thai police arrested an Iranian couple for having sex on the beach. The man professed his ignorance that sex in a public place was illegal in Thailand. They were fined 500 baht each.

Worse their names were published online and the couple sought political asylum overseas, because the punishment for their sin in Iran is public stoning in a stadium of the Police Guidance Patrols' choosing.

I think they ended up in Denmark, whose Viking traditions has always railed against the fundamentalism of any religion, but the Iranians still have a good time, because that is in their blood as it is in us all.

ps Sometimes you have to rethink who you are told are your enemies.

No Homos in Iran

Several years ago a Bangkok police commissioner visited Pattaya to officially survey the night life.

A Bangkok reporter asked, "What are your views on prostitution in Pattaya?"

"Prostituition?" The top copper was wearing sunglasses on Walking Street. "All I see are young people having fun."

His response harvested a chorus of hearty chuckles from longtime Pattaya residents, but nothing like the chortles from a Columbia University audience after the then-president of Iran responded to a question about the execution of two gay men by saying, "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country. In Iran we do not have this phenomenon. I do not know who has told you we have it."

His claim flew in the face of the fact that next to Thailand, Iran performs the most sex-change operations in the world.

No queers, but a thousands if not millions of swarthy transvestites called Yasmin. 

Still if there were no sword-swallowers than I would have never found Farsi insults on SWEARASAURUS.com

The best was Tu kooneh mollah chapeh beshi or May you be shoved into the ass of a Mullah, which might be a blessing for some if a fist was inserted first.

No gays in Iran?

President Ahmadinejad must have forgotten that two teenager boys were executed for the crime of Luvat or homosexuality. 16 and 18. Even GW Bush as governor of Texas didn't kill teenagers, although Jerry Falwell would have forgiven his smiting sodomites for as Iran's Supreme Leader who stated in www.leader.ir that "The Western values that have led to the collapse of ethics and spread of revelry, violence, legalization of homosexuality and other such fiascos in their countries, can not be followed."

So no Village People for Iran.

No singing YMCA.

No White Party or Tea Dances. Only hangings.

But what if men say they're not gay like Senator Craig of Idaho?

Sex, but not gay.

Is that against Sharia?

Or would you get the same treatment as Matthew Wayne Shepard (December 1, 1976 – October 12, 1998)?

Wyoming or Mashad?

My younger brother was gay. My friends were gay. Millions of people in Thailand are gay and maybe one or two in Iran, because you can't hang us all, Mr. President Ahmadinejad and Reverend Pat Robertson.

Meshosham beh seebillet, Bichare mashang or I piss on your beards, you pathetic retards.

Sometimes it hard to forgive.

After all we're only human and I only want to have fun like the police commissioner said about Pattaya. That ain't no crime and either is being gay.

There seemed to be an extraordinary number of pissing profanities in Farsi.

#1 Man mishaasham rooyeh saret taa kaf koneh or I'll piss on your head until it foams

Nasty golden shower boys. 

They would have loved the Toilet Bar in Greenwich Village.

1978.

It's raining men and ka-toeys too.

Anti-Mullah Fun

Ever since Ayatollah Kohmeni returned from exile to oust the Shah, the Mullahs in Iran have proscribed fun from the lives of the common folk.

No music, no dancing, no drinking, no nothing to transformed the Shah's secular state into a Land of No stricter than the New Jersey Shore or Tulsa, Oklahoma., however Iranians often leave their Islamic Republic to escape the enforced morality of the Police Guidance Patrols.

Several years ago their love of personal freedom was redlighted in Jomtien, when Thai police arrested an Iranian couple for having sex on the beach. The man professed his ignorance that sex in a public place was illegal in Thailand. They were fined 500 baht each.

Worse their names were published online and the couple sought political asylum overseas, for the punishment for their sin in Iran is public stoning in a stadium of the Police Guidance Patrols' choosing.

I think they ended up in Denmark, whose Viking traditions has always railed against the fundamentalism of any religion, but the Iranians still have a good time, because that is in their blood.

ps Sometimes you have to rethink who you are told are your enemies.

Bibi Came To Congress

Yesterday the Israeli PM appeared before the joint houses of the US Congress at the invitation of GOP leader John Boehner. While hundreds of world leaders have spoken from the podium on congress, all had been invited by the sitting president. The media loved this spat between Obama, the Republicans, and Netanyahu, who is facing a close election in Israel. Critics attacked the right-wing Zionist for overstepping the boundaries of diplomacy, however Bibi Netanyahu was greeted by a long boisterous ovation from both sides of the aisle, as the GOP and Democrats displayed their support for the Zionist State. The Prime Minister waited for the ten-minute long applause to died out and then hectored the audience about how the upcoming anti-nuclear pact with Iran endangered the existence of Israel and its apartheid policies against the Palestinians.

In his speech Netanyahu referred to the Iranians as Persians and claimed the ancestors of Xerxes were a year away from producing a nuclear bomb.

Israel has been saying that for about twenty years.

The Israelis also were instrumental in feeding information about Saddam's WMD program to a gullible George W. Bush.

Centrifuges, yellow cake, a year from production of a nuke.

Same speech as always.

Fear.

Never again.

I agree with those two words in thought and deed.

But not one Palestinian worked in Dachau or Buchenwald.

I'm half-Irish.

The British stole our lands.

They stayed for 600 years.

The UK consider Ulster as part of the Empire.

No day it will be free.

Same as Palestine.

Same as the Jews, because we are all one in peace.

Here is the list of Senators brave enough to buck the Zionist agenda

SENATE

Sen. Al Franken (D-Minn.) Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.) Sen. Brian Schatz (D-Hawaii) Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) Sen. Martin Heinrich (D-N.M.) Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.)

Hillary Clinton showed herself to be a sell-out.

Same as on the Iraq War vote.

New England - Be proud. \

3Is And A Genie

An Israeli, an Iranian, and an Irishman are lost in the desert. They discover a brass lamp in the sand. The Israeli rubs it and frees a grateful genie, who will grant a wish to each of them. The Israeli insists on going first and demands a wall 100 feet high around all of Biblical Israel with no Muslims inside the wall.

The genji claps his hand and the deed is done.

"What about you?" the genie asked the Iranian, who says, "I want a wall 200 feet high around the lands of the Muslims with no infidels.

The genji claps his hands and the deed is done.

The genie turns to the Irishman, who asks, "Can you fill those walls with whiskey?"

The genie smiles and says, "Your wish is my command. Fainne oir ort!"

The Irish are a sensible people, although an old friend asked after hearing the joke, "Jameson or Bushmills? It matters."

Jamesons of course with its pure pot still taste.

Slainte."

I Want To See Peace

In 1968 Richard Nixon beat Hubert Humphrey by campaigning for the end of the Viet-Nam War. During his inaugural speech Nixon said, "The greatest honor history can bestow is the title of peacemaker." The War lasted another seven years. As many troops died under his leadership as all the previous presidents going back to Eisenhower. Even worse millions of Vietnamese civilians died along with hundreds of thousands in Laos and Cambodia and secret recording between the president and his war-criminal Secretary of State Henry Kissinger revealed Nixon's true heart, when he said, "The only place where you and I disagree ... is with regard to the bombing. You're so goddamned concerned about civilians and I don't give a damn. I don't care." Two nights ago Mitt Romney announced at the presidential debate that he wanted peace for Iran and the USA, despite having repeatedly called for stronger measures than those provided by President Obama, thus flummocking a good percentage of those stupid as a bucket of mud undecided voters that he was not going to lead us into Armageddon to save Israel. "I want to see peace." Mitt is up in the polls. He's a peacenik. But he's the same slick haired motherfuckers as that Quaker Nixon. Say anything to get where he wants to go. In other words, "I don't care."

You Go Your Way, I Go Mine

The United States and its allies are rattling the saber in the Persian Gulf by conducting naval exercises designed to thwart any attempt to close the vital sea lane should Israel decide to attack Iran to prevent their distant enemy from developing an atomic bomb. This weekend Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was in New York drumming up contribution from supporters and the hardliner appeared on American TV to force President Obama to draw a line in the sand on Iran. While his GOP opponent has accused Obama of throwing Israel under the bus, Bibi was quick to tell the interviewer that he was satisfied with the President's efforts to protect his nation from attack. According to the BBC Meir Javedanfar, an Iranian expert in Israel, suggested that publicity for the exercise was primarily aimed at American voters and the Israeli leadership: "This military exercise is Obama's way of showing U.S. voters, especially Israel's supporters in the U.S., and Netanyahu that when it comes to Iran, he is not only relying on talks," he said. "To show that when he said 'I have Israel's back' in March ... he meant it." Congresswoman Michele Bachmann wasn't so sure about Obama's commitment to the Zionist state, since the President hadn't met with the Israeli PM on this trip. “And President Obama needs to get his priorities straight. What he needs to do is cancel his planned interview with David Letterman, cancel his meeting with Beyonce, cancel his meeting with Jay Z, and instead agree to meet with the Prime Minister of Israel Benjamin Netanyahu, because you see, America and Israel have a commonality of interests.” The White House said that scheduling conflicts for both men were an issue. I think Bibi feels better with the fleet in the Straits of Hormuz than shaking hands for a second with the President. And secondly Michelle Bachman, "Shut your hole."

3Is And A Genie

An Israeli, an Iranian, and an Irishman are lost in the desert. They discover a brass lamp in the sand. The Israeli rubs it and frees a grateful genie, who will grant a wish to each of them. The Israeli insists on going first and demands a wall 100 feet high around all of Biblical Israel with no Muslims inside the wall.

The genji claps his hand and the deed is done.

"What about you?" the genie asked the Iranian, who says, "I want a wall 200 feet high around the lands of the Muslims with no infidels.

The genji claps his hands and the deed is done.

The genie turns to the Irishman, who asks, "Can you fill those walls with whiskey?"

The genie smiles and says, "Your wish is my command. Fainne oir ort!"

The Irish are a sensible people, although an old friend asked after hearing the joke, "Jameson or Bushmills? It matters."

Jamesons of course with its pure pot still taste.

Slainte."

DoomsDay On Its Way

Last week Iran marked Defence Industry Day with the unveiling of a new accuracy of short-range defensive missiles with the range of 300 kilometers. The distance between Tehran and Jerusalem is 1561 km or 970 miles. The Aerospace Force of the Army of the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution has several rockets capable of greater distances such as the Fajr-3, Shahab-3, and Ghadr-110, although military experts question whether the Iranians are overstating the capabilities of these weapons a la Saddam of Iraq. For days ago the Iranian president stated that Israel's existence is an "insult to all humanity." Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu responded to this statement by admitting that Israel is ready to strike at Iran, despite President Shimon Peres saying that Israel could not “go it alone” and should depend on the US when dealing with Iran and the head of the Labor Party said, “The entire Iran debate is reckless, truly reckless." Harratx reported that Israeli Defense officials have visit with the ultra-Orthodox Shas party's spiritual leader, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, to discuss a possible Israeli attack on Iran. The 91 year-old rabbi is reputed to be against such an aggressive posture, but also told his followers over the radio, "You know what situation we're in, there are evil people, Iran, about to destroy us. ... We must pray before [the almighty] with all our heart." "Torah Torah Torah." The attack depends entirely on US support, for the Israeli Air Force cannot attack Iran without re-fueling from US tanker planes, but Netanyahu is pressing for action before the US election to force Obama from office and even called for the President to come to Israel to pledge his support for an assault on Iran. The Jerusalem Post quoted Iranian Defense Minister Brig. Gen. Ahmad Vahidi, who said on Monday that Israelis were "afraid of their own shadow (and are ) therefore trying to control this disappointing atmosphere by brouhaha and psychological warfare, but should know that propaganda will not resolve their problems." The Jerusalem Post came out against the attack; see url http://www.jpost.com/Opinion/Columnists/Article.aspx?id=281943 Smoke and mirrors can reflect whatever the illusionist wants to project to his audience, if the crowd are sufficiently prepared to accept a mirage. ps Mitt Romney has entered the fray by saying, “As I said recently when visiting Jerusalem, ‘We have seen the horrors of history. We will not stand by. We will not watch them play out again.” Torah torah torah indeed.