Crushed Car / Miami Art Basel

Every December the at world descends on the Miami Beach Convention Center to kick off the winter season in Florida. Tens of thousands of art enthusiasts throng through the gallery exhibitions during the day and pack the restaurants and bars at night. Prices are 50% above retail, so the entire event is dominated by the need to be seen rather than look at the countless paintings, sculptures, and installations of Art Basel.

I have been invited to attend and always refused, since I consider Art Basel as somewhere to avoid and be seen avoiding the people there, especially since Sophie Marceau would never go there.

Only monsters from New York.

And rat-thin vamps from Miami modeling agencies.

But there are some stars in the purgatory of Art Basel and according to the art media Jimmie Durham scored a hit with Still Life with Xitle and Spirit, which featured a Chrystler Spring crushed by a gigantic volcanic basalt rock.

"I like it, but I don't know where I'd put it,"I told my friend, who had sent a photo of the sculpture The piece had to weigh three or four tons and would take up all the space in my apartment.

"On your lawn in Thailand."

I have no lawn there. Only rice fields stretching into the hills.

Plus bad things happen to cars all the time.

Like this near-miss.

Or this successful strike.

It's all a question of luck or an empty road in the flatlands.

Almost like all the cars in the world died and left everyone in peace.

I'd miss the muscle cars.

Son Of God

From this still from the movie SONG OF GOD I assumed Jesus of Nazareth was waterboarded in the River Jordan by his cousin Yoḥanan ha-mmaṭbil or John The baptist.

A friend in Miami suggested that everyone see this film about the Messiah.

It's cold in New York.

Miami is 73 this evening.

I told Mario, "Buy me a flight tix to Miami and I'll go to SON OF GOD."

The Bible-Thumpers are offering free admission to the theater.

Every atheist knows how to say prayers for a free ride and the experience of eternity.

I looked for an answer from Mario.

He said he liked the idea, but sent no flight info.

I guess I'll catch SON OF GOD on a rerun.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Zombie Zictims

"Zombies, zombies, zombies." Last week headlines across America screamed the warning of a zombie attack in Miami after a crazed naked man at a derelict's face in public followed by a mother eating her newborn's toes as well as a Maryland college student confessing the crime of cannibalism to local police and a man mutilating himself with a knife. Zombies on the loose have seized the imagination of the country and last year the Centers for Disease Control lured teenagers to their emergency preparedness blog by adding zombie apocalypse. This week the CDC stated without any reservation that the organization knows on no virus or condition that would reanimate the dead. The zombie mania had legs and a zombie video went viral on the internet. Newspapers were quick to report that the zombie attack was probably caused by the attacker's drug overdose on 'baht salts'. The stellar quality of this spastic journalism was brought to earth by calmer minds discovering that the video had been faked by a group of young men seeking to challenge people's racial prejudices. Most viewers found the video funny, but one RESIDENT EVIL fan said according to rt.com, “They are idiots. Luckily for them, arms are banned in Miami. Should it happen in Texas, I would’ve shot him down without even thinking.” Arms are banned in Miami? Gun owners are allowed by allowed by law to strap on firearms, so the pranksters were lucky that they only scared teenagers. The debunking of this report did not reap a harvest of recantations from the media such as ABC News, which stood by its coverage of the drug-induced zombie craze by printing the testimony of a 'bath salt addict, "It felt so evil. It felt like the darkest, evilest thing imaginable." Bad thoughts lead to bad deeds, but there are no zombies on earth. Not yet, but if there are I hope that they are the slow-moving zombies of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD instead of the fast one from RESIDENT EVIL. The first to satisfy the hunger of the fast-moving zombies will be fat slow-moving zictims. Rule # 1 - always keep a few fat people around to scream in terror. Zombies love screaming zictims. ps I understand about the toes of little babies. They look delicious.