Dead Head Golden Showers

This weekend a Democratic Jersey City councilman was arrested for peeing from the balcony. This golden shower episode would have been considered harmless, except it occurred during a Grateful Dead tribute band concert. The concertgoers weren't happy about his blessing and the councilman has sworn off drinking for the rest of his life.

Most drunks do the morning after a night when they publicly piss on people, although once sober he was political savvy enough to not admit to any wrongdoing. Guess he considers it all good fun.

Wait until he gets hit with a lawsuit by a Dead Head.

Not Forget You Long Time

Harry Nicolaides wrote VERISIMILITUDE in 2005. This novel based on his life in Thailand sold 42 copies. Its lack of success did not prevent the Thai police from charging the Australian author with the charge of lese-majeste upon his re-entry to the country this summer. His crime; writing what any fool knows you don't write about in Thailand.

He's been in jail for over two months and if convicted could spend the next 15 years in prison. His barrister has been to the Australian embassy and reports, "And so far the Australian Government, from what we can tell, has done nothing."

The USA embassy is no better.

The King thankfully will intervene soon and the author will be freed to his home country.

Persona non grata, but free at least.

The Land of No

The Banglamung District Chief has issued a series of warning to Pattaya bar owners about the various violations deemed unacceptable to the forces of Law and Order.

No drugs except for tobacco and even that has to be smoked in designated areas. No weapons including hand grenades. No dildo shows or sex shows or nakedness. No serving minors under 20. No alcohol after-hours.

Obviously this man has no idea about having a good time, but then he probably comes from the law enforcement field and those men never have a good time unless it's at someone else's expenses. The DC is hopeful that he can forced the bar owners to obey the strictures of his realm of no-no-no.

Another area of concern was the licensing of music.

Seems the Eagles aren't getting paid all their royalty rights for the constant playing of HOTEL CALIFORNIA.

Happy is never having to hear the word 'no'

Mea Culpa

I am relatively honest and looking in the mirror I have to admit one thing.

I am a fuck-up.

I even have a letter dated 1/2/80 from Lawrence Woodward, the CIA's director of Employment, who wrote,”….no vacancy has been found for someone with your academic background and experience.” which was mostly smoking pot and hanging out at gay bars hunting for fag hags.

No wonder those black shoe spooks could’t find Osama Bin Ladin with billions to spend on satellites, spies, and snitches . They’re all squares, yet I survived the shame of a nation’s rejection. And also many more failures, most recently not writing mangozeen for a while. I could blame writer’s block, which usually arises like a bad case of herpes, whenever my bank account sinks below 4-figures in US Dollars, however the latest dearth of inspiration was derived from something other than having a empty bank account.

Back in 2008 I treated another financial disaster with a wine binge. Beer-vodka-gin too.

Pattaya. Booze. Women.

Actually I excluded the latter from the equation.

Pattaya and booze.

Keep it simple stupid.

My wife was out of town. I felt lonely. The beers flowed across my lips like the endless source of the Nile. In the morning my hangovers were less than crippling other than I couldn’t write.

Nothing.

Not a postcard.

Barely my name.

And do I expect this to change?

It has before, so bear with me as I right the ship out of the water. We are back under sail and ready to proceed toward the future.

New course.

The battle for freedom.

“Who’s for freedom, who’s for liberty, who’s for going home?” Anyone who can identify the speaker of this quote gets a free Ramones tee-shirt.

We carry all sizes

Winter in Thailand

Strange to think that Thailand has a winter. Westerners spend most of the year sweating like they were in a sauna and usually the coldest spot in Thailand is a movie theater. A Chilly 21C. Brrrr.

Last night riding home on my motorcycle, I suppressed a shiver. Fah nao or the cold season had arrived like clockwork.

Not that we should expect snow.

The mountains in the North drop to 3C above Zero at worst and the season ends in February, but for the next two months Thais will be bundling up like they were in training from Siberia. Except in the go-go bars. Thank the stars for climate control.

Frozen flowers should only be found on mountain tops.

I laid a bet at a bookie that it will snow this year in Thailand.

On a mountain top.

I got 10-1 odds for a 500 baht bet.

The bookie wouldn’t take any more.

The last record of snow dates back to 1955 in Chiang Rai, when the temperature dropped to freezing and rain turned first to hail and then ice flakes. The snow cover lasted 38 hours before melting under the tropical sun. That was over 52 years ago, but I have a good feeling about this bet.

It’s gonna get cold.

Especially around Xmas

No Home Like No Home

This winter I faced legal charges for copyright infringement. The officers from the cyber-crime unit of the Thai Police told me not to worry about the sentence. They said it would be about $100US, however several lawyers warned that I could face deportation plus the declaration of persona non grata, which would have meant my exile from Thailand. My trial proved the police right. The lawyers had only been after my money. Still I had experienced the apprehension of uncertainty, although nothing like ex-PM Thaksin must have felt this weekend upon reading that the UK had revoked his visa to England while he was traveling in Asia.

His ownership of ManCity's football team did not save the deposed leader from this ignominy. His wife was also banned from entering Britain.

Persona non grata the two of them and now they have to ask themselves where to go from wherever they are now. He's building a mansion in China. The Communist country is close to Thailand. His presence there could cause problems, so Thaksin's second option might be the Bahamas, which has offered him honorary citizenship.

Honorary could prove to be very temporary and Thaksin could find himself in the same situation as Gary Glitter last summer.

A man with only one place left to go.

Home.

Goodbye GM

"Whatever is good for GM is good for America."

I heard this adage throughout the 60s and 70s, even as GM manufactured ever worse versions of badly-designed cars. Gas guzzlers and with no eye for overseas sales. In fact one GM VP had the balls to answer a question about why GM wasn't selling right-hand drive cars in Japan with the comment, "To the Japanese left-handed drive is a mark of prestige."

I've driven left-handed cars in France.

Scared the bejesus out of me.

GM is doomed without a federal bailout but even more doomed unless the corporation purge the entire upper-management, who have invested billions into SUV and trucks despite the upsurge of gas prices.

"Americans are big. We like big cars." Another GM sales pitch.

In truth Americans are fat and can't fit into smaller cars. I heard one obese Texan ask his wife, "Does the H3 Hummer make me look fat."

If GM wants a bail-out, then they'll have to change the way they make cars or else they're still doomed.

And if GM goes, then so be it.

America will live on.