A Little Secret

Washington has expressed shock over the resignation of CIA director David Petraeus after his affair with a biographer and a former army officer came to light. At first I thought that the former general was ousted by a cabal of right-minded thinkers seeking to avenge his wrong-doings in Afghanistan and Iraq, however Petraeus's meandering from his wife was part of an ongoing investigations into abusive emails by the general's paramour to a friend of his wife. There is something really funky about this story. Firstly any CIA director who can't keep his affair secret should be fired by lack of discretion, but Paula Broadwell doesn't seem the type not to hold her sand. This scandal has all the hallmarks of the hacked phone and internet. And only one group of people do that. Newscorp. Personally I'd greenlight his affair faster than okaying the assassination of Osama Bin Ladin. 'A Collosal mistake'. I don't think so. There is something else to this story. What?

The Eternal Struggle

“Women are always right and they are never more right then when they are wrong and you try to convince of this.” - Pascha Ray

Yesterday I visited my friend Richard Sweet in Brighton Beach. They hadn't suffered from the huricane floods. I showed up on time, for his Ukrainian wife and he were celebrating their baby girl's 2nd birthday. I brought Lakee a gift. Her mother couldn't have been more pleased. I was an honored guest and Richard an attentive host. His friends and I spoke about Russia, the KGB, Taras Bulba, and drinking.

"Never mix vodka and water. Sacrifice." Alex had drunk two glasses more than me.

"You mean 'sacrilege'." A single cube was floating in my shot glass.

"Yes, sviatotatstvo." Alex wasn't drinking vodka. He had started with sangria. "I never mix drinks."

"I'm half-Irish. We drink anything." Our cultures were at a clash until we told jokes. Laughs are a universal language and soon all the women were inside the two-story house with the children. The men spoke in hush voices.

"A woman is always right." Alex had been living in this country twenty years. "And there's only one person more right than your wife."

"Her mother." I answered to a chorus of muffled chortles. Any married man fears his wife's extraordinary sense of hearing. Our oppressed state is an accepted sacrifice for the surrender of their bodies.

To us sex is lust. For a woman it's love.

Women are a completely different species as proven by this mail from Brian LeBouef featuring a short story exercise written by a male and female student at the U of Phoenix.

The professor told his class: “Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and copy me on the email. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also copying me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.”

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY
(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,” he said into his trans-galactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he
could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,”
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one
lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.

(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. “We can’t allow this! I’m going to veto that treaty! Let’s blow ‘em out of the sky!”

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you’re a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F—ING TEA??? Oh no, I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steel novels!”

(Rebecca)
Asshole.

(Gary)
Bitch.

(Rebecca)
F__K YOU – YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea – whore.

(TEACHER)
A+ – I really liked this one

Women are not the enemy. They are merely women. An alien race created from our flesh.

And every man knows this to be true.

Just don't say it too loud in the company of women.

Not if you know what's good for you.

Nope to the Dope With No Hope

Phillie.com reported that 13 wards in the City of Obama Love cast 99% of their vote for the President. The GOP won in the traditional strongholds of the South and West, although the Republicans lost Florida, Virigina, Nevada, and Colorado due to demographics changes in the population. The country remains divided on a thin ideological batttleground, because in my eyes the nation is 90% conservative. But at least it isn't going to be run by Mitt Romney and that is a good feeling.

EASY PEASY

Those pundits weren't too embarrassed by their calls for a close race. To see Jon Stewart's take on their wisdom and the elation of marijuana legalization in two states, please go to the following URL http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/08/jon-stewart-mocks-fox-news-marijuana-legalization-video_n_2099896.html

Sorry Comrades

I've been working hard at making money. These are difficult times. I've actually had to work blue-collar for a living. The Fort Greene Observatory suffers in my absence. But better times are coming somewhere for you and me. Peace and Love Peter Nolan Smith.

Da Granite State

The fall foliage has fallen to the colding ground of Dixville Notch. The mountain resort earned the attention of the nation by casting the first votes for the 2012 ecltion. Voting in the remote hamlet resulted a tie for President Obama and Mitt Romney, however down south in Crawford Notch the imcumbent scored a landslide victory amongst the voter of Hart's Location. The thirty-three good people of that community made decision in 5 minutes. I waited in line two hours in Fort Greene. The lateest results from the Granite State are 65% O'Bama / 32% Romney. I voted for the mick. It's the Irish in me.

Da Election 2012

President Obama has been leading America since January 2009. He inherited two unfinanced laws, a tax code exempting the very very rich from a fair share of taxes, and an fractured Congress and Surpreme Court. His term disappointed those that hope for better and satisfied those praying for the worst, yet the Union of 50 States survived those travails. I am pissed at Obama for not withdrawing the troops from GW Bush's invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq. The President has stuck it to the pro-weed camp and his drones murder suspected combatants in the War on Terror as well as any innocents within two hundred yards of the missile strike. The rich remain rich. The fucking rich and I mean the .00001% hiding amongst the 1%. But today I went down to Brooklyn Tech to wait two hours to cast my vote for a seocnd term by Barack Obama. I have never worried about him losing the election, because no matter how much some white voters don't want a black in the White House, something spooks them out about having a Mormon ruling America. And it ain't about the Magic Pajamas. My prediction: Obama takes Ohio and Pennsylvania, loses in Virginia and Florida, but takes Wisconsin and it's always been about Wisconsin.