Snow Ball

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

I have thrown snowballs during each snowfall in New York this year. There have been two.

My age is only a date.

In my head I'm 15. Winter, spring, summer or fall.

Snow Coming

Meteorolgists are predicting a monster snowstorm for the East Coast with up to two feet of accumulation in the Boston area. New York is supposed to get a foot. Looking out from the Fort Greene Observatory, the skies are gray and a touch of the window says it's cold out there. Perfect conditions for a blizzard. It won't hit until Friday, so be where you are then and plan on being there for a while.

Edgar Allan Poe Illustrations

I inherited THE COLLECTED STORIES OF EDGAR ALLEN POE from my grandmother's library. This macabre image scared me and all my friends, but even more terrifying was illustrations rats tearing at a captive man's flesh from THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM.

I loved Edgar Allan Poe's works, especially The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket. The idea of swirling to an unexpected doom thrilled my 10 year-old mind.

Recently I thought about selling the book. A dealer offered $200. I refused the money.

No one can buy the horror of a young boy.

The Ravens

Leaving work on Friday I asked my boss who he liked in the Super Bowl. "I don't bet." "I know that, but who do you like?" Manny had bet on every Super Bowl. His record was perfect. He had never won a bet. "I like the 49ers." That's all I needed to hear. Ravens all the way.

Shazaam Gomer Pyle

One of the more enduring gay myths was that of Rock Hudson and Jim Nabors of Gomer Pyle having a Hollywood affair. Rock denied these allegations to me in Deauville, for he never wanted to let people know his true self. Jim Nabors was the same way, but this week the 82-year-old actor best known as Gomer Pyle in "The Andy Griffith Show" married his longtime companion in Washington State. The two have been together since 1975 and Nabors said to the press, "I'm 82 and he's in his 60s and so we've been together for 38 years and I'm not ashamed of people knowing, it's just that it was such a personal thing, I didn't tell anybody. I'm very happy that I've had a partner of 38 years and I feel very blessed. And, what can I tell you, I'm just very happy." Better late than never, but it was no "Sur-prise, sur-prise, sur-prise!" Congratulations, Jim. You are who you are.

Free The Coca Leaf

Several years ago I was invited to the Bolivian Consulate in New York. The gatherings were to promote the new president's vision of Pan-Americanism and one of the main tenets was the legalization of coca leaves. I had chewed the aklaloid leaves in Peru to combat high-altitude sickness in the Andes and both my mistress Mrs. Carolina and I found the medicine very therapheutic while treking on the Incan Path, so I was pleasantly surprised to find bowls of coca leaves at the consulate. I stuck a chaw in my cheek to experience the effects of the Andean plant. The pain in my knee was gone and the weariness of a long day on 47th Street ebbed with each extra leaf. The diplomats extolled the vitues of coca leafs to battle hunger and thirst as well as the alleviation of pain from headaches, rheumatism, wounds and sores. As a tea coca provides essential minerals (calcium, potassium, phosphorus), vitamins (B1, B2, C, and E) and nutrients such as protein and fiber according to Wikipedia, however coca leaves have been demonized in the West starting with Coca Cola's monopoly on selling the medicine to the masses, however the Deep South worried that "negro cocaine fiends" were raping white women and replaced coca with caffiene and sugar. Coke is still in Coca Cola, but without any medical benefit to the consumer. It's time to free the leaf. It's good for you same as Guinness.

Punxsutawney Phil

Yesterday Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his hole to signal spring's arrival in six weeks. Thousands of people without any real purpose in their life showed up in the Pennsylvania town to celebrate the old German holiday and organizers stated that the furry rodents' forecasts are accurate 75% to 90% of the time. More interesting is that my nephew Matt posted an article questioning how much time Phil Connors from GROUNDHOG DAY spent repeated February 2. The film's director Harold Ramis had answered 8 years, 8 months, and 16 days, although one critic of this estimate questioned if you could become a pianist in ten years and broke down the time sequence as follows; Day 1: Groundhog Day Day 2: The first repetition Day 3: The fixed pencil Day 4: Punching Ned Day 5: Deceiving Nancy Day 6: Robbing the bank Day 7: Seeing Heidi 2 with a French Maid Days 8-12: Engineering the near-perfect date Day 13: The bad perfect date Days 14-21: One for every slap Day 22: “Phil you look terrible!” Day 23: Jeopardy Day 24: “This is pitiful!” Days 25-27: Breaking the alarm clock Day 28: Kidnapping Punxsutawney Phil Day 29-31: Phil’s suicides Day 32: I’m a God! Days 33- 35: First piano lessons Day 36: Sexually harassing Ned Day 37: Looking after the homeless man Day 38: The final Groundhog Day ps Bill Murray is capable of anything.