Hotter Than Before Almost

The Friends of Science actively refute the majority of scientists churning out warnings about the threat of Global Warming. The Hoaxist website disputes the claims of the radical rise in temperatures, the danger of man's carbon footprint on the planet, global warming's adverse effect on weather patterns as well as the shrinkage of glaciers and polar ice packs by stating that Earth's atmosphere is in a constant state of flux with Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe leading the charge as a member of the Senate's Standing Committee on Environment. Last summer when a relentless heat wave scorched the South and central states with a merciless stretch on triple-digit temperatures, Senator Inhofe argued on the floor of the Senate that global warming was a hoax. Several of his opponents booed his assessment as denialism.

According to the New Times a third of the nation’s population experienced 10 or more days of summer temperatures exceeding 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Among the cities that set temperature records in 2012 were Nashville; Athens, Ga.; and Cairo, Ill., all of which hit 109 degrees on June 29; Greenville, S.C., which hit 107 degrees on July 1; and Lamar, Colo., which hit 112 degrees on June 27. The City's Observer Newspaper argued that New York surpassed the previous record of 106F from 1934 with thermometers topping 107 on July 7, 2012. I was in Thailand on that day, so I cannot verify that information, but I am a believer in Global Warming, however have differed from the majority consensus on the causes of climate change. My good friend Jamie Parker avowed that the planetary increase in temperature was a result from our Solar System passing through a warmer region of space. I theorized that sweating fat people added to the problem. Both of conjectures were trumped by my counterpart in religion, the ex-model from Paris, has sent a damning email claiming the prime reason for global warming is that many people have lost their faith in God and after dying they are sent to Hell. "More sinners to burn, the warmer the planet, plus people are fatter than before so they burn in Hell hotter." Jamie and I agreed that this made sense, if you believed in an after-life. So repent sinners and save the world. There will be no smoothies in Hell.