Sunday, June 30, 2024

Bingin Bali Always Overhead

Bingin Beach The Indian Ocean

1994
Me from Sumatra
Richie Boy from Manhattan
To surf Bali
Bingin Beach
Eternal overhead left
Bigger than big
The water ankle deep o'er the reef.
RW next to me
A big wave coming
I
Pearl sliding down the face
Into the turmoil of a close-out.
Surface
The swell thickened and monsterifized
Double over head.
I paddle for life
Make two shoulders
I almost reach the third's lip
Then
Backward o'er the falls
Buried by under a bone crusher.
Ten seconds in the washer
Twenty sensing up
Or down.
Thirty seconds more and no more struggle.
I pull on my lease
Miraculously haul myself to the surface
Richie looks worried
With good reason.
Buried again

In the tumbler again
Breathing ocean.
Near death again.
Spit to the surface
Close to shore
Sand under my feet.
Collapse on dry beach
Dripping sea from my nose
Puking water from my lungs.

I turn to the waves.

RW shouts my name
Maddog
I had been more dead than alive
I ain't no more
I'm at Bingin Beach
With Richie Boy Always left overhead
Always

Friday, June 28, 2024

I See Seagulls


Sea gulls
I see seagulls
Seagulls o'er the sea
Gliding on the updraft
O'er the Montauk bluff

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

February 13, 1990 - Los Angeles - 1990

Another sunny day in LA the different Paradise coming tomorrow I pack my bags with my heavy winter clothing mail it off to Paris. At the saying goodbye to Cindy to LAX evening flight to Honolulu. From here on end go backward glances are allowed go only in the direction the Setting Sun.

My stay in LA I basically spoke with or saw everyone who I intended to contact although I wish Lisa Johnson or Ann Borchette were here, but both of them have vanished from my life without a foreign address or. telephone. I haven't seen either in over a decade. Those years must have touched them as they have touched me.

Yesterday Alice return my phone call have her sitcom and I said, " I saw you on TV the other night. You're pretty funny. Actually you were very good. But you always had a good hand at comedy."

"Which show was it?"

"I only kept it on long enough to see you, then I switched to a National Geographic special." I actually turned in the commercials came on. I hate the ads on the big channels NBC CBS ABC. There was nothing on them I wanted to buy.

Alice is breaking it big on TV. THe second lead in a sit-co. Her true Talent is the theater and her one woman shows. I don't understand 2001 and I MacArthur prize. She's a big hit in the Avant Garde in gay scenes, but even my mother has seen her on TV.

Television is sell out, like Holden Caufield in the catcher in the Rye saying that is older brother the Hollywood to be a w**** writing screenplays. I only wish I could sell out somehow, but no one wants to read my journals not even me.

No commercial value. No sellout. And I have plenty of no commercial value. Alice was always more ambitious than me then again who isn't. She always has been funny and on TV she didn't look different from 10 years ago hello I couldn't see cat scratch on her cheek I love her breasts Andy remark before I left New York," where her breasts always that big?"

"To tell you the truth I can't remember." I thought they were smaller.

We took a drive earlier in the week to see a side of Charles Manson murder. Something told me it wasn't the first time to the house the LA Bianca murders. She's wearing a dark suit sunglasses very androgynous. I don't understand the fascination with murder scenes some women have. Must be because they expect to be a victim sometime from some crazy male who wants to kill all women.

There is no sexual tension between us. Last year she showed up at Kathy Underhill and my birthday party happy Elms upstate. Until that day I had been the enemy of this all women Hood friendship with Kathy reprieve.

During that visit Alice didnt speak about much how's Susan Rowe I just asked her for 3,500 to pay for her rent. Her and her husband for 2 months late on their place in LA. They like many people who weren't from New York to seek a New Life without having a job in hand.

I detested her friend back in New York and I still don't like her I told Alice," the tough call will you give the money or not, but don't let her bully you with guilt. Especially if you don't want to pay the money I should have it to give."

"It's not the money. It's just that I'm constantly bailing her out," Alice replied and laughed a joke her friends dilemma and how they have sort of a blanche dubois- Morticia Addams relationship every Neurosis shared by the two is stepped on constantly. I let us speak without interruption and she batted the pros and cons of giving her the money until she finally reached a moment of silence and I asked," would you really be hurt if your friendship didn't exist?"

Like our love no longer existed, except as memories.

Not really she answered without much thought however the guilt of letting a friend go to hell not her face. I wanted to explain about how Bridget York bully me in Paris but it was too long a story and I just listen casted my vote with her father and boyfriend give the money.

Later when I got to Scotty's he told me how much a player in the sitcom gets per episode at least $30,000 per show. Dallas has to be getting at least six figures a year to sell out to TV.

I almost called right thing but I never got to the telephone.

I've lost my purple jersey which maybe I Hunter Paris and I can't so another day ends find my driver's license. Somehow my mother had a copy and she's going to afford to me in Bali.

NOBODIES TOGETHER - by Peter Nolan Smith

NOBODIES TOGETHER

by

Peter Nolan Smith

Last autumn my health was challenged by my sickness. I had no energy and rarely left the apartment. My New York friends lied about my condition. When I asked if I looked yellow, they replied, "A little, but you're not Post-It yellow."

They were lying and I believe them, until I looked in the mirror.

I had lost over fifty pounds.

An English friend commented, "That's like losing a Labrador dog."

I was a little gaunt, but strangely at my ideal BMI weight.

I had been at the edge of obesity a year ago."

In the autumn my friend Ro came over to Clinton Hill once a week to sketch the transition. These sessions broke up the hours of isolation. We had been lover since 1976, although we were now just friends. She said I looked handsome. When we met at David's Potbelly on Christopher Street, she had whispered, "You're an angel under candlelight."

I didn't have the strength to be a fallen angel and read excerpts and poetry from my journals.

"Why you never get anything published?"

"I never thought I was good enough."

"You're like Emily Dickenson. Trapped on a New England farm. Far from her Boston wife."

I hadn't thought of myself as the hermit poetress, but all poets hare trapped in solitary by their words and the fears of hearing them spoke by others. She kept drawing lines and I continued to read from my 70s journals, wishing I recorded what I was saying so I could force my young downstairs to listen to the times before their birth. So long ago that they can't even comprehend our freedom.

After a simple dinner Ro said she had to leave. The bus stop was only a block away. She protested when I offered to walk her there, but the last years hadn't been kind to Myrtle Avenue. Evening had become night. It was raining hard outside and couldn't see the street. Mad men might be lurching in the shadows. They owned the city from Coney Island to Pelham Bay in the Bronx.

"I was brought up to be a gentleman, plus I haven't been out of this apartment in days."

I handed her an umbrella.

For some reason I had plenty of them.

I just put on rain gear.

Having climbed Africa's highest mountain for the Kili Initiative twice before Covid hit, I had collected good rainwear and geared up for the downpour on Myrtle Avenue. Opening the door Ro asked with concern, "Are you sure?"

I can make it." I was tired of people questioning my strength having had the nickname 'the Brick' for decades. Thankfully the gusts of wind were not too strong. No one was was on the sidewalk until we reach ed the bodega before the bus stop.. A young crazy man waas haranguing someone inside the store.

Ro stopped in her tracks.

"Don't worry, I got this."

She didn't seem so sure, but a wind lifted the awning and water cascaded on the young unfortunate.

Ro laughed.

I didn't think it was funny and neither did the young man, who shook off the wet and confronted us.

"What you think? You somebody. You nothing."

He stepped forward to an arm's length from us. I had recently been attacked in the subway by a crazed man. His punches hadn't hurt. Having recently lost my mind due to ammonia seeping from my guts to my brain, I understood madness. Not 100%, but enough to understand when you are fucked you are fucked all the way. His fist tensed into rocks. I pushed Ro behind me and said, "I am nobody . Who are you?."

His head cocked to the side and he smiled at me.

Are you – Nobody – too? Then there’s a pair of us! Don't tell! they'd advertise – you know!

We recited together.

How dreary – to be – Somebody! How public – like a Frog – To tell one’s name – the livelong June – To an admiring Bog!

We bowed and he walked away into the raging gloom.

We had seen each other through Emily Dickenson's most famous poem.

"What did you say?" asked Ro. Her bus was pulling up to the stop.

"We shared a few kind words."

Three words between us.

He and me.

No one else. She hopped the bus and waved from her seat.

I waved back and walked back to the apartment, gratified that even in madness we are not alone, if we share the madness of nobodies together.

Monday, June 24, 2024

Klaus Nomi RIP


A blizzard struck Manhattan on February 4, 1978. The snowstorm closed the city within the first ours. The streets were impassable for cars. 100 mph winds buried the sidewalks under 5-foot drifts. My hillbilly girlfriend and I were trapped in our East Village apartment for days. The gas stove's four burners prevented our freezing to death. We lived on bagels from the corner bodega and Chinese take-out. Those deliverymen saved our lives. The sanitation department cleared the avenues, then the streets, and finally Manhattan approached normalcy.
Our cabin fever ran in the 100s and I suggested to my hillbilly girlfriend that a drink at Max's Kansas City might cure our too-much-homesickness. Alice agreed with this plan. The Heartbreakers were the headliners that night. The West Virginian had moved to the city after seeing the covers of the New York Dolls LP. I could't blame her. Johnny Thunders was punk's Jimi Hendrix.
Our only winter clothing was ski jackets. Max's was the antithesis of après slope. We dressed in black leather. I was lucky enough to wear engineer boots. Alice had no option other than high heels. She was thin. Her skin was polar white. Many of our friends said that she looked like Shirley MacLaine. Alice hated hearing that comparison, but I had fallen in love with Warren Beatty's sister in THE APARTMENT. It was a long-running obsession.
I was working at the New School registering students. Alice was acting in an ensemble. Her money came from her parents. Mine barely covered room and board. She paid for the taxi. We arrived Max's minutes before the opening song. The door person let us in for free. I had saved him from a beating at Disco Donut. The upstairs was packed with punks and Heartbreakers fans. The stars of the scene sat up front. I was a nobody to them and happy to be so Emily Dickenson. Alice yearned for the spotlight. Her favorite movie was THE THREE FACES OF EVE.
>The band took the stage and Johnny Thunders shouted into the mike that they were glad to see us.
"One two three."

The Heartbreakers performed an extraordinary set. They played as a group. The audience knew every song.
>MILK ME, CHINESE ROCKS, GET OFF THE PHONE, LONDON, TAKE A CHANCE, ONE TRACK MIND, ALL BY MYSELF, LET GO, I LOVE YOU, CAN'T KEEP MY EYES OFF YOU, I WANNA BE LOVED and DO YOU LOVE. The encore was BORN TO LOSE.
The two hundred of us wanted more and they gave us TOO MUCH JUNKIE BUSINESS. Our applause was the appreciation of a thousand. I understood how a single record company didn't wanted to risk their reputation on the Heartbreakers. They personified trouble.
The crowd divided like an amoeba in two directions. Groupies and Heartbreakers fan headed for the dressing room. Druggies and drunk descended to the downstairs bar. Alice regarded the stage with an unnatural yearning. I nodded my release. She was only 21. We had all come to New York to be free. Within two steps toward the dressing room I was history. Alice wanted bright lights and fame. Same as any actress straight out of Appalachia.
My happiness was a little easier to achieve and I descended to the downstairs bar for a drink. The bartender put a vodka-tonic in front of me. We played pool at Julian's on 14th Street. I pushed $5 across the bar. The tip covered my drinking for the rest of the night. The staff at Max's and CBGBs knew how treat the regulars.
I nodded to several other drinkers. Some were musicians. Others were artists. We liked liquoring on our own. Across the bar a raven-haired punkette was staring at me. A vintage leather catsuit covered her zombie-lime skin. Her eyelids were smeared with raccoon mascara. Chains hung from her neck. She was a working girl slumming for trash. A hotel room was too good for her. She had seen plenty of those with her johns. She blew a kiss and glanced back to the bathrooms. This was going to be a short romance
>I looked over to the stairs. They we empty. Everyone upstairs was upstairs. Everyone downstairs was downstairs. Five minutes were more than enough. I checked the bar. A thin man in black leather was watching the girl and me. He could have passed for Josef Goebbels' nephew. I didn't like the way he was looking at me and I walked over to him.
"You have a problem?"
"Me a problem?" His accent was German.
I had struggled with the language I failed in high school and college. My best grade was a C+. My worst was a couple of Fs, but I retained more than a rudimentary grasp on the language and spoke to the young man in German. After a few exchanges it was obvious that he was gay, but he laughed at my apprehension.
"Don't worry. You are not my type. Ich mochte niche Neanderthal menschen."
It wasn't the first time that someone had mentioned my resemblance to homo sapiens' predecessor. My family hailed from the Picts. We were an ancient race. Alice called me a caveman. She said that I grunted when we made love.
"Viele danke. Ich nicht bin ein Schwanzlutscher."
The German punk threw back his head and laughed like Goethe on amyl nitrate.
"That is very good. Where did you learn such language?"
I explained that my Bavarian teacher in high school chain-smoked during class and swore at us in two languages. He failed me twice. My Boston accent ran roughshod over umlauted German. "Bad as I was as a student. Bruder Karl still sends me a Christmas card."
"You are probably the only one of his students still speaking Deutsche."
"Verleicht." I was a little disconcerted by my retention of certain words.
We discovered that the both of us had worked at Serendipity 3, the famed gay ice cream shop on East 60th Street. The waiters gave everyone a woman's name. The German had been Marlene. My monicker was Bam-Bam.
"Like the Flintstones."
"Yes, they thought I was Missing Link."
"An animal. Perhaps you like this Strichmadchen. The whore looks like she is Sado."
"More Maso than Sado." I had read THE STORY OF O dozens of times.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught the approach of Alice. The warmth of her smile smacked of guilt. I introduced her to the German. His name was Klaus.
"My father disappeared in Stalingrad. I was raised an only child in Essen."
"A steel town." I had read about the bombing of the Saar Valley in numerous WWII books. The factory town had been reduced to ashes.
>"And not a very fun town for someone like me. I had two choices at age 18. Berlin or New York.
"New York won?"
"No place better to sing opera. High alto."
"Like the castradi." The emasculated opera singers were capable of a wider range than normal males.
"Exactly."
"They were the craze in 18th Century Italy." Alice knew her theater. I had seen her in a play. THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN. Most directors thought of her as an ingenue. They were dead wrong. She played the Las Vegas chorus girl Fran Walker to the hilt. Alice turned on her charm. "I would have loved to see the Divine Farinelli."
"At one time there were over 100,000 castradi in Europe." The German introduced himself as Klaus. His native country had rejected his efforts to sing the first eunuch soprano since the middle of the 19th Century. Spurned he chose New York over Berlin and professed to be practicing to break into the punk scene by singing Lou Christie's LIGHTNING STRIKES ME AGAIN.
"I love Lou Christie." Alice was Klaus' newest convert to castradism. Their conversation swirled into the demise of the genre. Klaus cursed the Italians for banning castration for musical purposes in 1861. His discourse about the actual method of gelding a man a was a little graphic for even my prurient tastes and my eyes strayed to the green-skinned punkette. Two members of a relatively known band bracketed her at the bar. She toyed with the heavy chain around her neck. I ordered another drink and contemplated my chances of getting her phone number without Alice noticing my philandering.
The answer was zero.
It was almost 2 am when Alice yawned for the second time. She possessed the amazing ability to fall asleep a half-minute after the third yawn. I motioned that it was time to go and she got up from her stool. I was surprised by her saying, "if you want to stay with Klaus, I understand."
"Understand?"
"Ja." Klaus rattled off several sentences in his native tongue. My German was about as good as Colonel Klink from HOGAN'S HEROES, but I caught the drift of his guttural suggestion to lose Alice and pick up the punkette across the bar. He said her name was Nina and she liked it rough. "Same as me."
"Not tonight."
Alice was a gifted actress, but came from the hick hollers of west Virginia. The East Village was dangerous. Our street was one of the worst. The snow was waist-high. She could disappear into some of the deeper drifts. "I have to take her home."
"Really it's all right. I can a taxi myself. You stay with Klaus." Alice was a little too eager and I turned my head. A good-looking rocker was waiting in the cold. Alice wasn't the type to fool around with another man, but she liked her fun, so I said, "Be careful."
"It's only a taxi ride." She pecked my cheek and ran outside with a skip in her walk.
Klaus said nothing and signaled for Nina to join us. He told her that I was from Berlin . I spoke with a German accent. She took me back to her place. Klaus waved good-bye and said to come over his house to tell me everything.
"I'll make you a strudel."
"It's a deal."
>And that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Klaus passed away of AIDS in 1983. I was living in Paris at that time. Every time someone mentions his name I think of that night.
There was a lot of snow.

Sunday, June 23, 2024

The Outrage of Christ

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST by Nikos Kazantzakis was a revelation for a young Catholic boy living on the South Shore of Boston in 1967. I found the book in our town library next to his successful novel ZORBA THE GREEK. The blurb on the dust cover shockingly declared that Kazantzakis had written this book to argue the innate weakness of the flesh in the Son of God. Works of heresy had traditionally been banned in Boston throughout the 1950s. The lack of due date stamps within the front cover revealed that book had never been read by anyone in my town. I stuck it under my arm and walked to the check-out counter.

"This book has been here over seven years." The librarian examined THE LAST TEMPTATION, as if she had never seen it before. She opened the pages to the publishing date. "It was published in 1955. The Greek and Catholic Churches condemned it."

"Maybe it was in hiding." I was a weekly visitor to the library. The librarian was familiar with my reading habits. She allowed me to withdraw adult books without question.

"ZORBA THE GREEK was very popular. Any time someone makes a movie from a book, people come into the library to read it. Afterward I have to hear how the book was better or the movie was better."

"THE TEN COMMANDMENTS were better than the book."

I had seen the Bible epic at the South Shore Drive-In with my parents. I hadn't told them that I was a non-believer. An admission like that earned the belt from my mother.

"That's almost sacrilegious." She frowned from behind her desk, then laughed, "I was kidding. I liked THE TEN COMMANDMENTS better too. Let me know how this book is."

I left and read the entire novel over the weekend.

On Saturday night my older brother came into the bedroom and grabbed it out of my hands. He asked if it was a dirty book.

"No." Kazantzakis offered an intoxication of heresy more heady than sex.

Frunk threw the book on my bed.

Then what good is it?"

"None, I guess," I laid back on the pillows and returned to ancient Judea.

The author contradicted the very teachings of the Church. Jesus was a man. He succumbed to the pleasure of Mary Magdalene. The devil tore at his soul. After surviving the crucifixion Messiah fled in India and lived a long life, unfortunately it was all a dream and he woke to find himself nailed to the cross. Kazantzakis' suggestions created a Fifth Testament complementing my juvenile atheistic version of the last chapters of the New Testament..

Jesus had been crucified on the cross. The Romans had declared him dead, but he had been in a coma. After the earthquake had opened his tomb, the apostles had discovered him alive and declared him the Son of God. Jesus had believed them until Thomas had returned from India.

The missing apostle to the unhealed wounds in Jesus' feet and hands and told his friend that if the Romans had done this once, then they will complete the job, if they found him alive. Jesus hadn't come back from the dead to be re-crucified and he fled to India with Thomas, his mother, and Mary Magdalene.

My version was unfounded heresy, until I later read in VS Naipul's AMONGST THE BELIEVERS that a tomb existed in Northern India containing the body of a holy man from Judea. Yuz Asaf or Issar had been a healer and lived to the age of 127. Muslims in Kashmir revered the tomb as the final resting place of Mary. Craved footprints of Yuz Araf's gravestone bore wounds in the feet.

More heresy.

In 1988 Martin Scorcese released THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST. The movie was banned in the Philippines and Singapore and a Paris cinema was firebombed by Christian extremists. Thirteen spectators were injured in the attack. The same number of people at the Last Dinner.

Christians are very sensitive about any questioning of the divinity of Jesus or blasphemous exploitation of his image.

The controversial photo PISS CHRIST earned Richard Serrano a brimstone outrage for its use of urine. The artist received hate mail and death threats. His grants were cancelled, despite counter-protests for the freedom of speech as guaranteed by the American Constitution. The work was thoroughly trashed by Christian Fundamentalists in France that Spring and they have mounted a similar campaign against a Paris theater for showing a play in which a portrait of Jesus is covered in shit at the end of the play.

Outrage.

As an atheist I refrain from attacking anyone's religion.

If belief in a mythical Nailed God happifies the believers, so be it, but if they seek to change the way I think, then I'll resist the bible-thumpers and jihadists every step of the way.

And here's how.

Why did Jesus cross the road?

Because he was nailed to the chicken!

Yes, if there is a Hell, we're all going to go there.

I think that comes from a Curtis Mayfield song.

And I found Hell's address in THE LAST TEMPTATION on Wikipedia.

IT'S IN THE STATE OF MICHIGAN.

From a 1960s postcard. “HELL MICH. Greetings from Hell. Mich. Hell, Michigan can be reached from U-96, 15 miles South of the Pinckney Exit or from I-94, 12 miles from either the Baker Road Exit thru Dexter, or the Chelsea Exit thru Unadilla, Michigan.

Once more thanks to Wikipedia.

Saturday, June 22, 2024

Summer Solstice - June 21, 2024

Yesterday 4:52 PM marked the beginning of the summer solstice, the little best day of the year on the Northern hemisphere. People have celebrated this day since time immemorial across the globe. The word Solstice means “sun standing still” or “grianstad' in Celtic. This morning I awoke at first light. 5:14 AM.

Back in the last century my friend AJ AND I went out to Stonehenge for a neolithic day trip. I hugged the monumental stones and cried as a Celt, even though they were erected by people's unknown many millennium before the Irish wandered northern Europe. Since then the Crown, which claims ownership of the ruins has restricted entry to the ring of stones. Today thousands of pagans greeted the dawn at Stonehenge. New Yorkers for the most part ignored the yearly phenomena, even though Manhattan's East to West streets from 14th to 155th are aligned with sunrise and sunset during the solstice period.

According to Wikipedia the Commissioners' Plan of 1811 arranged the street grid for most of Manhattan which is rotated 29° clockwise from true east-west. Thus, when the azimuth for sunset is 299° (i.e., 29° north of due West), the sunset aligns with the streets on that gird.

Tomorrow morning I greet the sun naked.

Enjoy the cosmos.

It's in our blood.

Rolling Stones - Barcelona - June, 13 1990

June 13 1990

Fresh off a Bangkok-Paris flight of my cicumnavigation of the world, I was staying down in Perpignan. My friends Sara Silver and Olivier Brial had scored tickets to the Stones Urban Jungle show in Barcelona's Olympic Stadium through her work connection at Sony. We were three, but had twenty tix in total. Olivier and I optimistically figured that we'd get $100 a ticket. We sold zero. The venue sat 90,000. It was not a sell-out and we couldn't give them away, but the show as always was great. Paint it black you devils.

Rolling Stones concert 1990

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWCYZtX-Bvs

The Longest Day Of The Year - Stonehenge - 2014

37,000 people gathered at Stonehenge to celebrate the dawn of the longest day of the year. Police arrested a number of people for reefer, which the BBC referred to as 'drugs'. I stood on my roof at dusk.

Naked to the sun.

No one else joined me, which is a good thing.

Getting arrested for public indecency would be a horrible way to end Litha, the pagan day of the sun standing still.

Bain sult as or enjoy in Gaelic.

Friday, June 21, 2024

Foamhenge

Stonehenge in Wilshire England has existed as a solar calendar for over 10,000 years. The current stone structures were erected around 5000 years ago. Access to the monoliths was restricted by the English Heritage Commission in 1977, although I can recall visiting the epic steles with a British friend in the 1990s.

Few tourists were on the site. AJ and I looked at each other and shrugged wordlessly that laws were for other people. We wandered amongst the squat stones and no one said anything about our incursion. Times were different in the last century, however the same laws against approaching Stonehenge is in place for its replica Foamhenge in Virginia.

Foamhenge has been a full-sized replica drawing thousands of visitors to Natural Bridge, VA according to Wikipedia.

Sadly the foam hasn't weathered as well as the neolithic monuments of Europe and some of the foam monuments have cracked in half.

Others must be supported by wooden supports once more proving that we can't build them like they used to.don't build them like they used to and to this day scientists can not figure out how Neolithic people constructed Stonehenge without modern technology. The answer is easy. They used Magic.

Stonehenge in Bangkok

New Englanders are relatively starved of archaeological ruins other than frost-heaved stone walls from vanished farms snaking through the woods or the smooth walls of the Quincy Quarries. Not one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World was on our side of the Atlantic nor from Africa or the Far East graced list either thanks to the Eurocentricity of the 19th Century's tomb raiders.

My seven wonders of the world are the Potala in Lhasa, the funereal Ghats of Varanasi, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Sanctuary of Truth in Pattaya, the Chartes Cathedral, the moon-lit combs atop Tikal's pyramids in Guatemala, and Sophie's Bar in Phnom Penh.

Antiquity and size are not prerequisites for my wonders, however Stonehenge certainly qualifies since archaeologists have uncovered a vast network of Neolithic villages on Salisbury Plain in England suggesting that the earthworks were part of a much larger religious complex.

British authorities have roped off the stone circle from the public.

Previously you could drive up to them in the middle of the night to party with drunken lager louts around a fire. Football fans probably attempted a form of cow tipping with the 4000 year-old monoliths, forcing the squares to ban any contact with the great Circle.

Bangkok has its own Stonehenge in the Hopewell Project.

The government spent billions of baht for a commuter rail system.

Not one length of rail was laid on the concrete pillars.

Hundreds of years from now future inhabitants of the world will wonder about the Hopewell Project's purpose.

Same as anyone driving past them today.

Was it a road to nowhere or Thailand's attempt to rival Stonehenge.

I've been to Stonehenge once.

With my friend AJ on a Neolithic tour of the Salisbury Plain.

Avesbury Circle, Stonehenge, and then the Silbury Mound.

Archaeologists have argued over whether the Druids, ETs, the devil, Merlin, or drunks with time on their hands built the massive monuments. As a descendant of Celtic blood I prefer the Druid theory.

On my visit I intended to strip naked in the circles, however both the Avesbury and Stonehenge were swarmed by tourists.

The Silbury Hill rises rises over the treeless plain. No one else was on the mound. AJ and I climbed 130 feet to the top, where my friend explained the hill had been built by thousands of workers over scores of years in different periods dating back over 4000 years.

It was older than Stonehenge, although not as old as than me even on mornings after I've drunk a lot.

The day was sunny.

AJ and I stripped naked.

We vowed not to believe in gods.

Neither of us avoided looking at the other's body, because straight men shouldn't be naked together within arm's length.

We faced the four points of the compass.

AJ had a bigger belly than me.

He glanced below my waist.

I turned to the north without a comment.

I have no problem with betting naked with gay men. They have no interest in my body. My penis is never big in public, which is why Michelangelo's DAVID should also be a Wonder of the World.

Firstly no one talks about the nudity or that the giant statue's penis is as as small as mine after a cold bath.

And there's no chance I'll get naked at the Hopewell ruins, so I'll have to wait another 4000 years until they deserve such an expose. Thankfully by that time I will be dust in the wind and any thoughts about naked men atop the Silbury Hill will be forgotten too.

sic transit gloria.

In Vino Veritas or In Magna Vino Oblivio

From 1847 to her death in 1901 Queen Victoria had ruled the British Empire from Osbourne House on the Isle of Wight. Prince Albert, her consort, had designed the royal residence with the aid of Thomas Cubitt, the London architect. Once finished the Italian Renaissance palazzo on the Solent Osbourne House served as a refuge from London court life, where the family celebrated holidays and birthdays for decades.

Back in the summer of 1985 I traveled from Paris to holiday at a rundown hotel on the grounds of Osbourne House. The rooms were full and I shared a cottage with Vonelli, a CIA agent, whose cover was that he was an European art dealer.

No one believed the native Floridian, but the hotel was a special place and attracted special people. One of them was a Danish sailor married to a Saudi princess.

That spring Kurt’s Harley Street doctor's had advised the elimination of vodka from his diet and the bearded sea captain decided to take the cure on the Isle of Wight, which was the sunniest isle of Britain, while his Countessa 31 was being overhauled at the Cowes shipyard after which he planned to sail to France.

"If I can't be on the sea, then I'll drink like a man in port," slurred Kurt with wine-glazed eyes at lazy lunch on the patio.

“You know when your doctor said to stop drinking. He meant everything," suggested Vonelli.

“No, he said a little wine was okay.”

His wife shrugged and Kurt quaffed his wine.

“Plus I only drink from dawn to dusk," laughed Kurt picking up a knife. Fatima took it out of his hands and he added, "The hotel staff have been instructed to only serve me rose wine. Never the hard stuff."

“Good thing he didn’t pick the dead of winter for this regime,” Vonelli muttered, because summer days were very long this far north of the equator and the calendar was nearing the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year. Vonelli was joking, because we were both drinkers.

Just not in the same league as the Viking, who never offered us a sip.

The rose was his.

And his alone.

Every day the broad-bellied sailor sat on the porch in the same kaftan like a beserker back from a raid on Byzantium.

After six bottles Kurt liked to throw knives.

His lovely Saudi wife couldn't be around all the time, but he treated her with kindness like a Norseman enslaved by a princess who had abandoned her kingdom. I admired her devotion and tried to imagine Kurt before he had surrendered his soul to drink.

"He had been one of the best-looking men in London during the 60s and great fun," recounted Vonelli.

"That was twenty years ago."

"And the last ten have been hard."

"Very hard and Fatima has stood by him every step of the way."

"Sounds like Hell."

"She gave up a lot and so did he. Kurt had been one of the best oil tanker captains. He married her and was blackballed from shipping by the Saudis."

"Like he was shipwrecked."

"She was outcast. The Saudi royals don't like their kind mixing with others, so he's lucky he wasn't murdered and so was she. "

"Lucky in love." I was jealous of their sacrifice.

Not for long.

It was a warm summer for England.

After a week his outfit smelled like an animal was trapped underneath his kaftan and we avoided Kurt throughout the lengthening days.

On the morning of the solstice I descended to the dining room for breakfast. The sun was breaking through the trees. Bird songs greeted the early dawn. The sea captain sat with his lovely Saudi Princess wife. Her words were whispers and when Fatima stopped talking he sent her away with a tender kiss.

Once she was out of the room Kurt waved me over to his table.

Five bottles were empty at his feet.

"Celebrating the summer solstice."

"No, my boat has been put into the water. It's stocked for the rest of the summer." He signaled the waitress for another glass. "Have a drink with me."

"Thanks." It was early, but it had been day for a long time and I sat down to toast his departure.

"My wife will be happy to go. She doesn't really like the sea, but I don't drink as captain. Not a drop."

"Not even rose."

"Nothing. What Vonelli say about me?"

Just that you had given up being a sea captain to fall in love with your wife."

"That's all."

"Vonelli doesn't talk much about others."

"He know how to hold his tongue. A good man. Here's to him. Here's to the sea. Everyone thinks my drinking started after the blackball, but I only ever drank on shore. I would have given up the world for Fatima and I did, but better that than to not give up anything for the one you love and loves you. We'll travel over to France down to Spain across to Ireland into the North Sea. Our children will be waiting in Copenhagen. I'll be the old Kurt. Maybe not forever, but long enough to be who I was on the sea. Winter's big seas up north and the darkness spreads across the Northlands like black lava in the winter."

"So more drinking."

Kurt shrugged and smiled, "But no more fucking kaftan. This one is shot. You want it."

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm good."

Smell bad?"

"Like a bear after an summer solstice orgy."

"That bad?"

"Maybe worse."

"I'll leave it in Cowes. The Brits will wear anything."

We celebrated the solstice with his rose reserve. Vonelli joined us. Everyone from the hotel did as well. We had a knife-throwing contest at lunch. No one got cut. By sunset all the wine was gone and we carried him to bed.

His wife thanked us and tipped the waiting staff generously.

“You’re no fun,” he said lying on his bed like a beached whale.

“He’s not wrong.” Vonelli sniffed at his jacket sleeve, as we descended to the dining room. "As Pliny the Elder said, “In vino veritas.” or more simply "In magma vino oblivio.”

In wine truth, but in more wine oblivion.

And that’s the truth.

Especially on the summer solstice for a Viking ready for the sea.

Summer Times Blues

  • Today was the official summer solstice for the northern hemisphere. The day lasted almost sixteen hours in New York and the sun never set in Murmansk, Russia. I woke well before the dawn and went to sleep far past sunset, as the Earth polar cap tipped toward the nearest star 93 million miles away from our home planet.
    Five hundred year after the discovery of beer by the Celts the Druid priests gathered the tribes to erect this monolithic bluestone clock to record the rising and setting on the sun and the passage of the stars. To this day modern archaeologists will not attributed this great feat to the Celts, because the true tribe supposedly arrived in Britain in 600 before Caeser's reign over Rome. Fucking Brits haven't even discovered its ancient name. No one has come even close. No one. Not even us remaining Neanderthals.
    The Avebury henges followed Stonehenge's creation. Back in 1994 I drank in a good pub at the northern entrance.
    I also climbed to the top of the Sillbury Hill. Scientist have calculated that its construction took five hundred men fifteen years. And over two seas of beer. The exact purpose of the hill remains unknown.
    The view from the top is good, but nothing special.

    Stonehenge has its rivals such as the Hopewell Project in Bangkok

    .

    Or Manhattanhenge in New York.

    And who can forget the eternal bliss of Foamhenge in Virginia.

    It's now 2:33PM

    In Brooklyn.

    I am ready for a nap.

    Longest day of the year or not.

    With my head to the west.

    As it should be on the summer solstice.

    tNothing like Blue Cheers SUMMERTIME BLUES

    THEY WERE ONCE THE LOUDEST BAND IN THE WORLD.

  • Thursday, June 20, 2024

    Summer Solstice 2022

    Yesterday was the official summer solstice in the northern hemisphere. The day lasted almost sixteen hours in New York and the sun never set in Murmansk, Russia. I woke well before the dawn and went to sleep far past sunset, as the Earth polar cap tipped toward the nearest star 93 million miles away from our home planet.

    Five hundred year after the discovery of beer by the Celts the Druid priests gathered the tribes to erect this monolithic bluestone clock to record the rising and setting on the sun and the passage of the stars. To this day modern archaeologists will not attributed this great feat to the Celts, because the true tribe supposedly arrived in Britain in 600 before Caeser's reign over Rome.

    Fucking Brits haven't even discovered its ancient name.

    No one has come even close.

    No one.

    Not even us remaining Neanderthals.

    The Avebury henges followed Stonehenge's creation.

    Back in 1994 I drank in a good pub at the northern entrance.

    I also climbed to the top of the div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">

    Scientist have calculated that its construction took five hundred men fifteen years.

    And over two seas of beer.

    The exact purpose of the hill remains unknown.

    The view from the top is good, but nothing special.

    Stonehenge has its rivals such as the Hopewell Project in Bangkok.

    Or Manhattanhenge in New York.

    And who can forget the eternal bliss of Foamhenge in Virginia.

    It's now 2:33PM

    In Brooklyn.

    I am ready for a nap.

    Longest day of the year or not.

    With my head to the west.

    As it should be on the summer solstice.

    Wednesday, June 19, 2024

    Juneteenth 1900 Texas

    The above photo was taken in Texas thirty-five years after the morning of June 19, 1865, when Union Major General Gordon Granger arrived on the island of Galveston to take command of the more than 2,000 federal troops recently landed in the department of Texas to enforce the emancipation of its enslaved population and oversee Reconstruction, nullifying all laws passed within Texas during the war by Confederate lawmakers. The order informed all Texans that, in accordance with a Proclamation from the Executive of the United States, all enslaved people were free, although not in the border states until later.

    Still free, but the fight for equality is not over by a long shot.

    Happy ‘tenth.

    Information from Wikipedia.

    Trans Europe Express 1980s Paris Bruxelles

    1985
    Paris
    The Trans Europe Express
    Out of Gare du Nord
    Two hours plus
    To Bruxelles
    Christine et moi
    A Bruxelles.
    To record a 45
    ‘Take Me Higher’.
    Train leaves the station
    Northbound
    Paris left behind
    Clackety-clack
    Picking up speed
    Only clack-clack-clack
    Through Ile-de-France.
    Early morning
    Gray sky
    Comme toujours
    Petite dejeuner
    In the dining car.
    White table cloth
    Silver service
    Maybe a glass of wine.
    Picardy
    Flat fields forever.
    Clack clack clack
    Back in our seats
    Christine asleep
    Last night drinks
    A Le Privilege
    Clack clack clack
    Wallonia
    Out the window
    Gray sky
    Rain
    Rows of plowed dirt to the horizon
    Thinking of Jaques Brel
    Le plat pays qui est a mienne.
    Clack clack clack.
    Christine still asleep
    Maybe dreaming
    I cover her with a SCNF blanket
    Le Trans Europe Express
    Le Classe of Old Europe.
    Clack clack clack
    The main station of Brussels-Midi
    Less than an hour away
    Clack clack clack
    Sixty years ago.
    A horrible war was fought here
    Millions died on this soil.
    The War To End All Wars.
    Nothing but farmland today
    Clack Clack clack.
    Thinking of Jacques Brel
    "The flat country that is mine."
    Clack clack clack
    And Brussels
    Chocolate, beer, a deeper gray than Paris
    Soon to come.
    Tonight
    In a studio
    Christine at the Mike ‘
    Take Me Higher.
    Clack Clack Clack
    Trans Europe Express.

    of course who can't forget TRANS EUROPE EXPRESS by Kraftwerk.

    Monday, June 17, 2024

    Bruins June 17, 2012 - The Cup

    Twelve years ago

    June 17, 2012

    That morning I was at work on 47th Street and my coworker at the diamond exchange said there was a big crowd before the NHL store.

    I realized that the Bruins might have come to show off the Stanley Cup. My boss Manny asked where I was going. "Personal business."

    Sure enough inside the 6th Avenue store Bergeron, Chara, and Tim Thomas stood on an interior balcony. Bruins fans were ecstatic. The trio descended to leave and as Chara passed I asked if I could touch the Cup.

    "Touch it. You can hold it."

    He handed the trophy to me and I kissed it. Tears of an eighteen year old remembering #4's goal against the Blues.

    Tears of joy.

    Sunday, June 16, 2024

    The Aroma of Paradise / Gaspe Quebec

    The ride from the ferry landing on the south shore of the St Lawrence to Gaspe took longer than my father and I had anticipated, even counting for a Quebec trooper stopping my father for speeding. 160 KPH in a 100 KPH zone. My father received a warning and we were back on our way, wheeling along the rugged coast line. The peninsula ended at our destination. A small fishing town famousized by the monolithic islands trailing into the Atlantic. Both of us were happy to arrive at sunset. We booked a hotel and asked the clerk for the address of the best restaurant.

    "Bonne Vue."

    "Tres bien." My father had learned his French in college. 1940. Mine came from working at the Bains-Douches in the 80s. The clerk didn't understand either of us. Quebec's dialect dated back to the 1600s.

    We walked to the restaurant. The evening air was free of mosquitoes. A delightful fragrance traipsed with the breeze. My father's keen nose smelled the same aroma. The source was a restaurant without a name. We entered like a pair of Lagotto Romagnolo hunting a motherlode of truffles. I knocked on the wall of the kitchen. The chef turned from his frying pan filled with seafood.

    "Deux plats comme ca." I lifted two fingers. He smiled back at us. Every cook likes someone appreciating their efforts. The hostess sat us by the window. Our meal was a bouillabaisse of local fish, clams, and shrimp. Delicious was an understatement. We were transported to paradise. The wine came from France. This was a foreign land. Tomorrow we would be heading back south.

    Away from the distant Quebec and its food.

    Nothing like it south of the border.

    THROWING LIKE A GIRL by Peter Nolan Smith


    My introduction to baseball came in the early spring of 1958. My father dragged me away from our Zenith black-and-white. Our favorite show, THE THREE STOOGES, was on the TV. Even a six-year old boy knew better than to resist a man his size.

    "Too nice a day to waste in front of the boob tube." My father hated TV's grasp on his children. He came from the age of radio. I followed him out of the house into the backyard. A line of trees struggled to sprout leaves after a long Maine winter, but at the end of the street the sun sparkled off the million mirrors scattered across the harbor separating Falmouth Foresides from Portland. April would soon be May.

    My father handed me a brand new baseball glove. I needed his help putting the enormous mitt onto my elfin left hand. My older brother stood on withered grass twenty feet away. His left hand buried in another new leather glove. A Red Sox cap shaded his face. He clutched a baseball in his right hand.

    "Time for you two to play America's Pastime." My father had served with the Army Air Force in World War II and fought the Great Maine Fire of 1949. Standing close to me he demonstrated the proper stance for a right-handed batter. "Legs apart with your body square to the plate and your eyes on the mound.

    "Yes, sir." I had watched a few games on TV and thrown the baseball with my older brother. I knew that Ted Williams number was 9, but my mind was better suited to Hide and Seek. No one could find my secret places.

    "Okay, let's play some ball."

    My father crouched behind the piece of wood serving as the plate and told my brother to throw a strike. The seven year-old looked over to my mother in the breezeway. She nodded her approval and he chucked the ball with every ounce of his skinny body's strength. His lucky first pitch thudded into my father's glove. The bat never left my shoulder. I had been too scared that the ball was going to hit me.

    "You're supposed to swing at the ball." He stood up and acted out the motion of batting with an imaginary bat. The 38 year-old Maine native had the same athletic build as the baseball players on TV. He resumed his position and smacked his fist into the glove. "Give it another try.

    I obeyed his command and swung at the next pitch with closed eyes. Something struck the bat and my hands tingled with shock of the accidental meeting of two objects. The ball floated into our new neighbors' backyard.

    The eleven year-old girl with short red hair fielded the ball on one bounce and winged it to my father with teenage accuracy. His clean-shaven face grimaced from the impact in his glove. My father was an electrical engineer and he tried to analyze the source of her strength. The girl was mostly bones.

    "That's some arm."

    "My father wanted a boy, so here I am." The freckled redhead was a classic Tom Boy and I fell in love the second she taught me how to grip the ball with my fingers.

    We spent the rest of the morning throwing the ball with the lanky girl, whose name was Charlene. My father stopped to pick up my errant throw. There had been many.

    Her mother came out to introduce herself. The slender blonde worked as a nurse for Maine Medical and her husband captained an oil freighter out of Bath. They were from Bar Harbor.

    "That's some baseball player you have." My father nodded at Charlene.

    She cut the air with the swing of the bat.

    "Her father played semi-pro. I told him to quit and get a real job or else we were through." Charlene's mother had a nice smile. Her teeth were perfect. "I suppose having a tomboy is his revenge, but baseball is a love they share."

    My mother invited her inside for tea and a chat. My sisters sat on the porch. My best friend, Chaney, rounded the corner of the house. One look at Charlene and he ran back home for his glove. Some older boys appeared to mock our playing with a girl. One was our school bully, Skeeter Kressee. My father challenged them to a game.

    Five on five with my father the umpire. Charlene knocked in all our runs. It was my first win in a game. Most boys in America worshipped Mickey Mantle, but Charlene was my baseball goddess.

    Every day after school my older brother, my best friend, Chaney, and Charlene practiced baseball. By the end of May my brother and Chaney could toss a baseball over the peaked roof of our two-story house. I had broken my sisters' bedroom window on my last attempt. Charlene took the time to teach me the mechanics of throwing. Her father must been a great instructor, because after an hour my toss cleared the peak of the roof by ten feet.

    Throughout that spring three other neighborhood boys joined our team and we played 7-on 7 pick-up games in the dirt lot next to Route 1. Charlene was our ringer. We routed the boys our age. Our winning streak continued against 3rd and 4th graders. My father would coach us on the weekend. A bunch of 5th graders came close to beating us in early June. Charlene smacked a flat pitch so hard that the ball cleared the state highway. We called ourselves the Red Sox and there were no Yankees in our town to challenge our team.

    We were six boys and one girl.

    One afternoon Chaney, my older brother, and I came home from Pinewood School to find Charlene sobbing on the front steps. Her Wilson glove and bat lay on the ground. My younger sisters' crying jags were over lost dolls and our teasing. Charlene's tears came from a greater disappointment. We stood on the lawn and watched her for a minute without saying a word. Her sorrow was that deep.

    "What's wrong?" I asked and my older brother elbowed my ribs.

    "Leave her alone."

    "Did someone bother you?" I looked up the street. Skeeter Kressee was tormenting a neighbor's cat. I picked up the bat.

    "It's not Skeeter." Charlene wiped her face with the sleeve of her shirt. "I went to try out for Little League and the coaches told me to go home and bake a cake."

    "They would have never told Frank Malzone that." Chaney barked with boyish anger.

    "Frank Malzone is a man." My brother idolized the Red Sox 3rd baseman.

    "And Charlene is the best player in our town." My favorite Red Sox was Pete Runnel. I had traded two Frank Malzone baseball card for one of his. "Did you get a try-out?"

    "No, they said girls should play with dolls not with balls." Charlene walked away from our house without her baseball and glove. "You can keep those. I won't be needing them anymore."

    We had a game that afternoon. The 3rd graders beat us 15-0. We were too young to play anyone without Charlene.

    That night at the dinner table I told my father about Charlene not being allowed to play Little League. My mother frowned at the information.

    "You can't always get what you want." She had given up a singing career to raise five children. The strength of her voice had stopped the Portland Cathedral choir in mid-chorus of AVE MARIA. She understood sacrifice.

    "She's a very good baseball player. Better than I was at that age." My father appreciated talent. He watched THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW every Sunday night. "They should let her try out."

    "Boys and men don't like playing with girls or women." My mother served my father another portion of roast beef. "Mostly because they're scared of losing."

    "You may be right." My father cut into the meat. He loved my mother's cooking. "But she deserves a try-out and I'm going to get her one."

    "Good luck." My mother was sincere in her wishes and stood up to clear the plates from the table. The boundaries between male and female had been carved in stone for centuries.

    "Thanks." My father winked at my older brother and me like he had a magic lamp in his back pocket. "I can't promise it will happen, so don't say anything to Charlene or your friends. You can keep a secret, right?"

    "Yes, sir," My brother and I answered in unison. We were good sons and did as we were told 99% of the time.

    "Because telling a secret means it won't happen."

    "Just like telling someone your wish after snapping a wishbone." My older brother nodded with understanding. He and I fought for wishes with dried chicken bones. He had won each and every time and I believed that his wish was to always break off the wish part of the wishbone. We bought our empty plates to the kitchen sink and went upstairs to our room. Our lights went out at 9. I listened to the Red Sox game on the radio powered by an alligator clip attached to the steel of my bed. The rocket-shaped radio was made in Japan.

    Chaney once told me that the Japs played baseball.

    My uncle said the same thing and he had been in Japan after the war.

    I fell asleep before the game's end. The home team was playing the Yankees. The Bronx Bombers never lost to us.

    The next few days were typical for the coast of Maine. Rain, cold, and windy. Our baseball gloves remained on their hooks. We didn't see Charlene once during that time. She went to school and came back home before us. Twice I went over to her house. No one answered my knock on the door.

    Friday night my father came into the house.

    "You didn't say anything to Charlene about the try-out?"

    "No." I didn't like the sound of this questioning.

    "To your friends?"

    "No." I searched my mind for something that I might have done wrong.

    "Your teachers?"

    "No."

    "C'mon, we're going to talk with Charlene."

    I grabbed Charlene's baseball glove and bat.

    The three of us crossed the backyard. He rang the doorbell and Charlene's mother opened the door.

    "Can I help you?" She was wearing curlers.

    "I'd like to speak with Charlene. It's about baseball. I tried to get her a try-out, but everyone said that she couldn't"

    "She already knows that." Charlene's wife lit a cigarette and offered my father one. "She's giving up on baseball. Talking to her won't change her mind. This is a man's world. She knows that now. So there's nothing to talk about. Thanks for coming over, but that's the way it is and she'll have to live with it."

    "But___" I looked up the stairs, hoping to see Charlene.

    "No buts." My father lit the cigarettes with a Zippo lighter. Charlene's mom leaned closer to him. They inhaled at the same time. "Charlene has made her decision and so has the Little League. It isn't right, but like her mother said, "That's the way it is." Thanks for your time."

    "Thanks for your effort." Charlene's mother smiled at my father. They nodded, as if they were allies in a greater fight.

    "What about her glove and bat?" I was sure that I could convince Charlene to play with us. I just needed the chance.

    "Leave them with me." Her mother took them out of my hands. "Her father can decide what to do with them when he gets back home."

    "Have a good weekend." We returned to our house and shut the door. My mother and father spoke in the dining room alone. They were having an adult conversation. Nothing else was ever said about Charlene's playing baseball. My parents became good friends with her mother and father. The two couples went out together. My mother always said that they had a good time.

    I saw Charlene later that summer. Her hair was longer and she was wearing a dress. I tried to speak with her, but she ignored my attempts. She was almost 10 and I was definitely 6.

    Two years later we moved from Maine to Boston. My older brother and I were on the same team in the town league. I told the other kids about Charlene. One of the boys laughed at my story.

    "Girls can't throw a ball."

    "Can too."

    "Can not."

    I punched him in the nose and he cried to the coach. I got in trouble. It didn't matter too much to me. I was no good at baseball, but some of her skill wore off on me. Opposing players would shout from the bench.

    "You throw like a girl."

    I ignored the insults.

    My throws reached the plate fast and hard same as Charlene, because that girl knew how to throw.

    Saturday, June 15, 2024

    BACKWARDS ON ICE by Peter Nolan Smith

    Back in 2014 the Bruins overcame a horrible 1st period to tie the Blackhawks and force another sudden death overtime. This time the flow of time was in the Bruins' favor and Paille scored the game winner. Game 3 will be in Boston.

    I love hockey.

    Several years ago I beat my cousin Oil Can on his $15,000 table hockey game at his house on the North Shore.

    4-3 with a stomping on decider.

    "I'd like to see you do that on ice." Oil Can wasn't a sore loser, but he had lost four games at home. His son was disappointed since Harrison had been working hard to be the first person to beat his father.

    "I'd be lucky to score a goal." I was useless on skates.

    "It'd be a four-game sweep with each one a shut-out." Oil Can wasn't bragging about his prowess with a hockey stick. He had started for our high school as a freshman. Harrison was playing basketball.

    "Your hockey team went 0-17 my senior year." 1970 was forty years ago.

    "And the next year we reached the playoffs." His team had challenged the hockey hierarchy through 1971 to 1973.

    "You were a good squad." I had seen them beat BC High at Boston Arena. Our home rink was Rindge Arena off 128.

    "We could go play a one-on-one right now on Route 1. I've got all the equipment." He had starred in his high school re-uniuon game the previous winter. He was even better in baseball.

    "Not a chance." I was intent on enjoying my victory at table hockey. "I can't skate backwards."

    "What was that about?"

    "My father brought us down to the pond up in Maine." My father was from Westbrook. Boys were expected to skate six months after they learned to walk. There was a pond overlooking Portland Harbor. The smell of bread from the Nissen Bakery mixed with the smell of the sea. "He told us he was going to teaching us how to skate backwards. My brother was 5 and I was 4."

    "A good age to learn."

    "We had walked down the street with skates over our shoulders. Mine were CCM." Skating backwards would help me play for the Bruins in the future. They never beat the Canadians. I was going to be a star, since I could skate forward faster than anyone in our neighborhood, except for Charleen Davis, but she was a girl and girls didn't play hockey. "The ice was clean and my father showed us how to position our feet. My brother and I got on the ice. We should like him. He pushed off and tripped over a crack. His head smacked the ice and he stood up with a smile."

    "Your father was a good skater." Oil Can had lived up the street from our teaberry ranch house on the South Shore of Boston.

    "Yeah, but blood was flowing down his face. He had cut his head and the smile was from a concussion. He had broken his leg skiing the year before and I thought that he would have to wear a cast on his head." He told me that he wasn't hurt and I believed him." I loved that man.

    "Ice is hard, but not that hard."

    "After that I never wanted to skate backwards." My father gave up on teaching us how to skate backwards.

    "So no game today?" Oil Can wanted to show his son that he wasn't a loser. Harrison loved him either way.

    "Not a chance, but I'll play another game to seven on the table hockey." I was happy to give him a second shot at shining for Harrison. I have a son and Fenway loved his father too.

    "You're on." Oil Can popped open to beers and we clinked bottles. "Here's to our fathers."

    Harrison toasted us with Coke. He was 11 and one day soon he would beat his father at his own game. It was only a matter of time.

    ps I took Oil Can in the second series 4-2, because in table hockey I didn't have to skate backwards.

    GO BRUINS.

    Wind River Mountains 1998

    Wind River Mountains 1998

    In the Spring of 1998 my seventy-eight year-old father and I embarked on a road trip through Wyoming and Montana. We picked up a rented car in Bozeman, Montana and stopped the first night in Chico Hot Springs. The next morning the two of us continued down Paradise Valley to Yellowstone Park.

    Buffalos grazed the new grasses in the low valleys and my old man marveled at Old Faithful's punctuality. He had never been to this part of the West.

    "I wish your mother was with us." She had passed away in Boston from previous year.

    "Me too." My mother loved to travel and before her death she had asked me to be her eyes.

    We spent the night near Inspiration Point and headed south in the morning.

    Snow tipped the jagged high peaks of the Grand Tetons, but my father didn't talk much of the long stretches between towns. His thought rested on his dear Angie.

    When I was behind the wheel, we listened to the country-western stations. My father switched to his classical CDs during his driving shifts. Sometimes he cried during the opera arias. My mother had a great singing voice.

    On the fourth night we stopped Pinedale in Wyoming. The mountains to the south were painted pink by the setting sun and the clear evening sky shone with the cosmos. My father marveled at the remote beauty and I told him, "Back in the 1830s mountain men hunted beaver in that wilderness."

    "Doesn't look like it's changed much since then." My father had fought Maine's Great Fire in 1947.

    He knew his woods.

    "Probably not."

    There was only one way to find out and during our steak dinner at the hotel restaurant I pored over a map of the Wind River Mountains and plotted out a day's hike across the range from south to north.

    "What are you thinking?"

    "That tomorrow I might take a walk." I pointed to a trail crossing the mountains. "I calculate the distance to be about fifteen miles."

    "Distances in the mountains are different from distance on the road," my father cautioned with the wisdom of a Boy Scout leader.

    "I should be able to cover that distance in ten hours walking two miles an hour. You drop me at the southern trailhead and pick me up at the northern end." I was in good shape for a man my age.

    "These aren't the White Mountains."

    "I know."

    Back in the early 1960s our family had climbed Mount Monadnock, whose summit was a little over 3000 feet.

    The Wind River Mountains' highest peaks towered above 12,000 feet.

    "That hike could end up being a long fifteen miles." My father didn't walk anywhere. At Yellowstone

    I had to drag him to view Old Faithful's eruption of steam. "And you're not as young as you think you are."

    "None of us are, but Mom asked me to be her eyes on the world and I know she would like to see those mountains."

    "She would be just as happy with a postcard." My father liked playing it safe, but he was only in condition to talk me out of attempting this hike and not accompanying me.

    "My eyes are to see for her."

    "If you say so." My father regarded my life a reckless journey. He wasn't too wrong, but I finished my wine and refilled the glass with water. I didn't need a hangover for tomorrow's trek with the trail cresting two 9,000-foot passes. "I don't like you doing this on your own."

    "I'll be careful." Only two years earlier I had hiked in the Himalayas.

    "It's your funeral, so please don't take any shortcuts. That's how people get lost."

    "Yes, sir."

    The next morning we woke at dawn and ate quick breakfast.

    "Looks like clear skies," I said getting into the car.

    "The weather down here isn't the weather in the mountains." He gazed at the peaks.

    "There isn't a cloud in the sky."

    "Now."

    "I'll be fine."

    Forty minutes later my father dropped me at the southern trailhead.

    I checked my bag for my map, compass, knife, water, food, whistle, matches, flashlight, an all-weather jacket, fleece, and camera. It was 7:34 AM.

    I looked at my watch.

    "Sunset's in twelve hours. I should get to the northern trailhead before then."

    "I'll be waiting on the other side."

    My father hugged me and I set out on the trail to soon be surrounded by wilderness. Bighorn sheep danced on rocky tors and elk herds groomed the alpine meadows.

    Back in the early 19th Century Indians had hunted these animals and trappers had caught beaver in the glacier-fed streams. I fell into a good pace. No other bootprints marked the trail.

    Within an hour I topped a bald promontory two miles from the trailhead. Mountain peaks barricaded the western horizon. My mother would have loved the view and I toasted her in heaven with a sip of water.

    I surveyed the trail map. The path divided into three directions. The northern fork led to a nearest col. The distance to my destination was thirteen miles. I was making good time and I anticipated seeing my father in seven hours.

    The weather changed at this height and light clouds obscured the steep pass. A sharp wind swept chilled air across the bare rocks and a strengthening flurry obscured the peaks. I pulled on my cap, fleece and jacket, then trudged down into the aspen forests, where the sun broke through the overcast and I took off my jacket to eat an early lunch of salami and cheese.

    Reinforced by the meal I followed the trail up-and-down over several aretes, then switchbacked down to a creek.

    The spring melt flooded the path. I swam from one side of the torrent to the other somehow losing my way and I backtracked a mile in soaking clothes.

    Cold and exhausted I sat on a flat rock and dried my boots in the sun.

    Thirty minutes later they were merely damp. I took out the map and realized that I had only covered three miles in the last two hours.

    A family of moose wandered across a boggy swamp. They were thin from a long winter. The wind carried my scent to them and they trotted into the forest. I pulled on my boots and tramped over a 9000-foot high pass. The air was thin and my heart thumped out a rapid beat. Not having seen anyone all day I wondered whether I was on the right trail.

    A sign post confirmed my suspicion. I had missed my turning.

    I gazed at the wet ground. Bear tracks marked the path. The paw prints were three times the size of my feet. People died in these mountains and died easy from cold, starvation, and animal attacks. I ate my last chocolate bar and counted my blessing. At least I wasn't lost anymore and I spoke to my mother every step of the way downhill.

    At 7 O'Clock I arrived at the parking lot. My father stood with two rangers. I must have looked a wreck and the rangers shook their heads, thankful that they didn't have to traipse into the forest at night to find my body and returned to their pick-up truck.

    "Twelve hours on the nose." My father tapped his watch.

    "Better than thirteen."

    "And certainly better than twenty."

    "How was it?"

    "Beautiful. Mom would be happy."

    "She's happier you're in one piece. You hungry?" My father opened the car.

    "You bet." I hobbled over to the passenger side on noodled legs and threw my bag on the floor.

    "Thirsty?" My father started the engine.

    "And then some." I unlaced my boots. The smell was wretched.

    "I got a six-pack of beer and a half of a cold pizza." My father cracked the window. "I thought you might need some nourishment."

    "You know me all too well." I popped open the Coors and drained the can in one go, feeling every seconds of my forty-seven years. The pizza had an extra topping of pepperoni.

    "You don't know how good this is going to taste."

    "Oh, yes I do. After the bulldozers stilled the last flames of the Great Maine Fire of 1947, my crew and I had celebrated our victory with a pizza in Portland. It was the best thing that I ever tasted outside your mother's cooking."

    "Same as this pizza."

    "You know it."

    We toasted that thought with beer

    Neither of us were mountain men.

    We were simply a father and son on a road trip.

    Cold pizza.

    Colder beer.

    And my father had a bottle of white wine in the cooler.

    My mother would have liked that.

    And so would we later.