Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Debbie Does Bridgeport


The old industrial cities of America lost jobs and population during the 80s and 90s. The only flourishing business was drugs and Bridgeport was no exception, as gangs from New York fought deadly gun battles over the low-income projects of Connecticut's largest city. The battles of Father Panik Village, Pequonnock village, Marina Village and the PT Barnum Housing Projects are not mentioned in the history books. Police combated the influx of drug buyers by sealing off the hot spots from I-95.

Bridgeport remains a city to drive pass on the way from NYC to Boston and vice versa, despite a slurry of federal and state money feeding a variety of insatiable redevelopment projects. A billion dollars was wasted on the moribund waterfront and the city seemed on the verge of dropping on the map, until this week Bridgeport High School cheerleaders criticized the blatant sensuality of their scanty uniforms. Their chorus of complaints were mouthed at the city's Board of Education.

"I am embarrassed to stand up here dressed like this. Is this really how you want Bridgeport to be represented?" The cheerleader lifted her arms to reveal a taut belly. A 2010 study of weight loss of cheerleaders criticized midriff exposure as a leading cause of underweightness in a world of fat teenagers. Any revelation of thin body mass can potentially lead to a self-examination of obesity by heavy eaters in teenagers, which might lead to more eating by the majority of high school students.

"Sure, you can pull the skirt up, but if you pull the skirt up, the butt hangs out." Another cheerleader reported to a male reporter from ABC. He failed to follow up her comment with a show-and-tell request.

The school committee responded to the aroused public by issuing a statement that they would allowed the cheerleader to Taliban their bodies in undergarments.

The local Bridgeport go-go bars have responded to the cover-up by offering exotic dancer affecionados a chance to see the real deal.

Best head over to Ruby's II Cafe
2362 Fairfield, Ave.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
(203) 336-8956

The girls dance nude and drink specials are only two-fiddy.

The real plus is 20 girls a shift.

Debbie Does Bridgeport.

And it ain't no movie.

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