No More Beer For Lent

Belief runs in my immediate family ran as strongly as the acceptance of the Divine. I was raised a Catholic. The Old Religion. My rejection of Old Church at the age of eight failed to deter my celebration of the saints throughout the ecclesiastical; St. Brigid's Day, St. Padraic's Day, the Blessing of Throats, the Immaculate Conception, and most importantly Ash Wednesday.

"Remember, man, ashes to ashes and dust to dust."

Who could reject such certitude?

Only an eight year-old altar boy.

Aside from the burnt offering of incinerated Palm Sunday palms I have occasionally attempted the second most important aspect of Lent i.e. the abstainence of a pleasure and this year the old reprobate has decided to stop drinking beer, the holiest liquid of pagans and non-believers.

In 2010 in the Fort Greene Observatory I informed my landlord/friend AP about a smiliar attempt and asked, "You think I can get to the end of Lent without drinking beer?"

"When's the end of Lent?" AP was spiritual, but not religious.

"Holy Thursday." Some sinners regarded Palm Sunday as the finish line. "Almost Easter."

Not me.

"And when is that?"

"April 2nd."

"That's six weeks away." AP as an architect had a good head for numbers.

"Over forty days." According to the New Testament Jesus had fasted forty days in the desert without succumbing to the temptation of Lucifer. "You think I can make it?"

"Not a chance." AP hooted in derision, knowing my love of beer was as strong was my atheism.

His son James stood at the foot of the stairs leading to the Forth Greene Observatory.

"James, you think I can not drink beer for forty days."

"No way."

"You want to bet your allowance." I gave him and his sister, Hippie Girl, a dollar each every week.

"No way." Like father like son, but I'm sure I'll find a sucker to take my bet.

I didn't drink beer on Ash Wednesday and I made it through today.

Only forty days to go.

Like the rain of Noah and the fast of Jesus.

If those two can do it, then I can too, especially since I've been sober for over four beers. Almost dying four years ago does that, but in heaven there is no beer. There's always zero beer. Ain't there.