Judging from the number of spam emails cluttering my inbox, a sense of inadequacy about the size of the male organ is a problem superseding hair loss, obesity, and global warming. I can understand this latest anxiety since most men in the West are rabid porno addicts and these websites feature male performers with truly biblical Staffs of Moses. These seemingly impossible proportions are the goal of any men purchasing pills, pumps, and medical herbals to enhance their girth and length.
“I just want to hear one woman say, “Not with that you don’t.” offered one testimony from a size improvement website.
“Not with that you don’t.”
I don’t know why anyone would want to hear that, but is size really important to a woman?
The girls at the Welkom Inn on Soi 3 in Pattaya see a lot of action. When asked if they liked big, the most popular girl said, “I like small and fast too. Not hurt. And not take too much time.”
Another admitted, “Sometime when really horny. I like big. Good. But can’t work later. Small better.”
This doesn’t prevent them from massaging the male ego.
The fellatio expert says, “Man always love to hear he have big penis. If not big, he believe big you tell him big. Stupid kwai.”
My lifelong friend Sherri, who peerformed in over 2000 XXX films, professes, “Size isn’t important. Well, if it’s a cashew, then it’s a problem, but otherwise most girls in the industry like a normal penis. Nothing too awe inspiring. And quick too. Guys with big ones. Not many of them know how to use it, plus when a guy with a giant cock gets an erection most of the blood leaves his skull, so he devolves to a gibbering fool. Gimme a nice Irish or Jewish guy any day. Cut too.”
Sherri knows cock.
So there you have it.
Here is a list of the average male Erect Penis Lengths for 10 species
1. Humpback whale 10 ft
2. Elephant 5-6 ft
3. Bull 3 ft
4. Stallion 2 ft 6 in.
5. Rhinoceros 2 ft
6. Pig 18-20 in.
. Man 6 in.
8. Gorilla 2 in.
9. Cat 3/4 in.
10. Mosquito 1/100 in.
Stormy Daniels the XXX actress had a pas de deux with Donald Trump and described Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small”. “He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool … “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart ... “It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”
pps I'm normal.
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