The Importance Of Size - 2010

Judging from the number of spam emails cluttering my inbox, a sense of inadequacy about the size of the male organ is a problem superseding hair loss, obesity, and global warming. I can understand this latest anxiety since most men in the West are rabid porno addicts and these websites feature male performers with truly biblical Staffs of Moses. These seemingly impossible proportions are the goal of any men purchasing pills, pumps, and medical herbals to enhance their girth and length.

“I just want to hear one woman say, “Not with that you don’t.” offered one testimony from a size improvement website.

“Not with that you don’t.”

I don’t know why anyone would want to hear that, but is size really important to a woman?

The girls at the Welkom Inn on Soi 3 in Pattaya see a lot of action. When asked if they liked big, the most popular girl said, “I like small and fast too. Not hurt. And not take too much time.”

Another admitted, “Sometime when really horny. I like big. Good. But can’t work later. Small better.”

This doesn’t prevent them from massaging the male ego.

The fellatio expert says, “Man always love to hear he have big penis. If not big, he believe big you tell him big. Stupid kwai.”

My lifelong friend, Sherri, who performed in over two thousand XXX films, professes, “Size isn’t important. Well, if it’s a cashew, then it’s a problem, but otherwise most girls in the industry like a normal penis. Nothing too awe-inspiring. And quick too. Guys with big ones. Not many of them know how to use it, plus when a guy with a giant cock gets an erection most of the blood leaves his skull, so he devolves to a gibbering fool. Gimme a nice Irish or Jewish guy any day. Cut too.”

Sherri knows cock.

So there you have it.

Here is a list of the average male Erect Penis Lengths for 10 species
1. Humpback whale 10 ft
2. Elephant 5-6 ft
3. Bull 3 ft
4. Stallion 2 ft 6 in.
5. Rhinoceros 2 ft
6. Pig 18-20 in.
. Man 6 in.
8. Gorilla 2 in.
9. Cat 3/4 in.
10. Mosquito 1/100 in.

Stormy Daniels the XXX actress had a pas de deux with Donald Trump and described Trump’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small”. “He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool … “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart ... “It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

pps I'm normal.

Trump has been mentioned in the Epstein files over a million times according to a Democratic congressman. He must have hit F for find on the download of the files. One mention ncluded an FBI tip sheet with an accusation regarding a 13 or 14-year-old girl. There are still three million emails to go. 47's gonna drop.

Guilty Times 34 - Trump

Last week a New York jury found the Orange Messiah guilty, issuing thirty-four convictions stemming from Trump's decision to not pay the agreed sum of $120000 to buy Stormy Daniels silence. At his July 12th sentencing he will appeal the verdicts.

If sentenced as a first offender he will probably get community service.

He will still be still entitled to Secret Service protection meaning he will have a large bodyguard squad whilst sweeping the streets in Brooklyn. Have your water balloons ready.

ps Felons are allowed to run for president and as a resident of Florida Trump can even vote as long as the felony conviction was in another state according to the laws of the film flam state, where all grifters flee to resume a life of crime.

ps "You don't pay women for sex, you pay for them to go away in silence." James Steele - Pattaya

Orange Man's Arraignment

While several presidents have been executed by the shadow powers; Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, Harding, and JFK, none of been arrested for criminal behavior until today when Donald Trump will be arraigned in New York City for having his Michael Cohen pay $130,000 to Stormy Damiels, an adult-entertainment actress, to quash her outing their 2006 one-night stand in Lake Tahoe right before the 2016 Presidential Election. Mr. Trump has always denied that he had ever had sex with the XXX actress, believing the old adage 'whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas' applied to Lake Tahoe.

Stormy probably kept her mouth shut, but someone had leaked and several exploitative news media actively sought a paid interview with Mrs. Daniels. She was on the verge of acccepting Touch Magaizne's offer in 2011, but backed off after an unknown man threatened violence to her, her fmaily, and daughter. The two parties finally came to an agreement during the 2016 campaign and Ms. Daniels wasa stiffed thrice by Donald Trump. Finally Michael Cohen paid out his own pocket, expecting to be re-imbursed by his friend. He got butkus from the butkiss and In August 2018, Mr Cohen pleaded guilty to tax-evasion and breaking campaign finance rules, in part related to his payment to Ms Daniels and another alleged Trump lover according to the BBC News.

His lawyer thought he might get a presidential pardon.

Wrong.

In 2018 he pled guilty In Manhattan Federal Court to Criminal Tax Evasion And Campaign Finance Violations and six other charges. He was fucked, because Trump had been too cheap to pay the woman what she deserved from a one-night stand.

We reprobates and sinners have a saying in the Lastd Babylon."

"You don't pay a working woman for sex. You pay them to go away."

Today Trump showed up at court and pleaded not guilty to thrirty-four criminal charges.

This for the man who once boasted that he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and get away with it.

Maybe, but not stiffing with a working class woman. As the Thais say, "Sum num nah."

Serve you right, although there was no perp walk and no bail, becasue the charges don't require bail unlike the thousands of suspects awaiting trial in the New York City prison system.

Personally I would hae loved him to be held in Rikers Island, howwever the ex-president will be flying back to Florida wot meet with his supporters at his Mar-e-Lago resort. There were less than ten in New York. Chicken shits, but at lesaddt the crazy GOP congresswoman showed. She has sand.

Scared Of Sharks

Helicopters have flown over Florida beaches to discover hundreds of sharks close to the shore.

Usually drawn by shoals of fish.

Sharks have no friends, although lampreys hitchhike on the killing machine.

Recently a story from a porno actress' 2006 sexual encounter with Donald Trump has revealed the billionaire's abject fear of sharks.

In a 2011 interview Stormy Daniels related a conversation during a visit to A Beverly Hills Hotel bungalow."

“The strangest thing about that night — this was the best thing ever. You could see the television from the little dining room table and he was watching Shark Week and he was watching a special about the U.S.S. something and it sank and it was like the worst shark attack in history. He is obsessed with sharks. Terrified of sharks. He was like, ‘I donate to all these charities and I would never donate to any charity that helps sharks. I hope all the sharks die.’ He was like riveted. He was like obsessed. It’s so strange, I know.”

She also said that sex was generic.

"It was one position."

I'm guessing it was cowgirl reverse.

As for his fear of sharks, I agree.

The 1975 film JAWS scared me out of the ocean, although these days I'm more frightened of sharts as should be Trump.

It's an old age thing.