You Bet I Would Flexible

I had a Flexible Flyer sled as a child. We like flexible females too.

Finish Line in Thailand

"I finish only with you." These words almost sounds true coming from the lips of a Soi 6 short-timer. She doesn't know your name. Your penis will be forgotten shortly after the apres-sex shower, but farangs inevitably ask, "Really?"

"You #1. Big too." This compliment can earned her a tip for a man, whether he be Thai or Farang, since we like compliments about performance as much as a woman enjoys foreplay.

"Really?"

Saying the right thing could earn another 100 or 200 baht.

"You make me finish. Never finish with man before."

And this is almost the truth. My friend Ort worked Soi 6 and she said, "I never finish. Not one time."

Ort was cute.

She had customers all the time.

4 a day. 5 days a week. 200 men a year.

Not one orgasm and I believed her, since a survey by the condom maker DUREX revealed that 54% of Thai couples failed to reach satisfaction.

"Men only care about men." Ort told me. "Uh uh uh. Finish. Not care about lady."

"I want finish I tok-phet." This was Thai for how a lady masturbate and has something to do with a duck. "Or maybe have other girl help me. Not gay. Not lesbian. Sometimes want finish too lazy to do myself."

"What about with me?"

"You different. I know you long time. We have sex many times. I finish with you because you know what I want."

"I'm a stud." I like hearing the lie, but if you spend 3.9 minutes more on foreplay according to that survey you can be a stud too.

But why bother?

I am a man.

Up Or Down

Toilets were invented in the third modern millennium BC and the question of toilet seat up or down has plagued mankind throughout the ages. Men lift the seat to prevent splatter and women keep it down during their business. Men sometimes forget to put down the seat, creating the potential for a woman rushing into the bathroom to relieve herself only to dunk her butt onto the porcelain bowl. Men call this the moon dunk. Women fail to find this term humorous, but some females consider sitting on a toilet seat dirty and cover it with toilet paper. The more the merrier. A woman explained the conundrum by saying, "Men are always moving some part of the lavatory up or down - seat up to pee, seat down to poo. So they're used to the machinations. Women, on the other hand, don't need to move nuthin' - never (unless a man was there before her). It's annoying - simple as that." Mystery solved or open for discussion. Personally I leave up the toilet seat so women will know I didn't wet it. I call that being considerate. Women call it something else. None of it good.