Where Are We?

I spotted these four tourists on 6th Avenue and 58th Street in Midtown Manhattan. All four were on their cell phones, trying to figure out where they were. I almost helped them, but realized their impoverished sense of direction was a curse of GPS and they were better off lost.

Stupid.

Of course, since no man will admit to being lost.

No one has a map.

No one can read them or fold a map, but a report has come out that cellphone callers' reliance on their devices to discover their whereabouts has shrunken the brain's natural GPS and even worse that people don't see where they are, because all they see is their cellphones.

Where are we.

The land of the lost.

U-Nai Teelat

Thai girlfriends are renown for their devotion to untruth, especially when it comes to letting their absent boyfriends know their whereabouts. “I’m in my village with maih.” I’ve heard this phone conversation from the bed of many a naked woman and Soi 6 is certainly not Isaan. Many suspicious farangs increasingly hire detectives to track down their errant loves only to disbelieve the facts, however a solution to their girlfriends’ mysterious travels might be available through the microchips. These tracking devices would be perfect for implanting in retired bargirls. GPS surveillance at all times from the comfort of your home. “I know all and see all.” Just what your girlfriend wants to hear, because anyone who thinks they’ve know all the answers haasn’t heard all the questions.

GPS Tracking Thai GF

If you google on detective and Thailand, the search engine will come up with hundreds of sites, offering services for finding missing persons, background checks, record searches, and surveillance of foreign visitors and local residents especially Thai wives, fiances and girlfriends.

Foreign men come out to Thailand, marry a woman half their age after knowing them a week, and then wonder, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

Some hire an investigation team.

Most major Thai cities have detectives. There used to be one office at the bridge beside World Trade in Bangkok. A small building promising satisfaction to farang and Thai alike.

Their detectives will discover that your girlfriend has had a Thai boyfriend or husband, that she still see this Thai boyfriend or husband, and that some of the money you give her ends up in his pocket, despite her saying, "We finished long ago."

More troublesome is not knowing your beloved's location, once she's out of sight.

Everyone is trackable these days with a GPS tracking system. You can stick a device on the car or motorbike for her whereabouts around Pattaya. Farther afield you can stick a bugging GPS in her telephone. She might not answer it all the time, but she will not be without it. Just remember you might not want to know where she goes, unless you're going someplace you don't want her to know where you are. Then the GPS device becomes a defensive measure.

You can visit your mia noi in peace, knowing you're wife is still at Big C or have a relaxing massage comforted that she is still in Buriram.

The other possibility is to get her an ankle bracelet that cops use to insure parolees remain under house arrest. You'll have to get it covered in gold, because your wife won't wear just anything.

Once more this is mostly to prevent your getting caught with your pants down.

But remember Thai women are geniuses when it comes to find out where you have been.

If Osman Bin Laden owed a Thai woman money, she would have tracked him down in a matter of days, instead of the ten years that it took the USA to get a clean shot at him. ps here's a website for tracking your tee-lat online. http://www.track-your-partner.com/index2.php Good hunting. photo from stickmanbangkok.com