Monday, December 29, 2025

Journal Entry December 29, 1977

1977 is almost finished. I sat with Georg at One-Fifth. His teen queen had just walked out on him. He raised his glass and said, "Here's to 1978."

We clinked glasses and he added, "We haven't fucked up a single of day of 1978."

"Not yet, and it won't take long."

After finishing our drinks we went to Veronica's party and once more Nina, the Nordic Valkyrie, flirted sexually by rubbing my thigh and even higher. I knew this was heading nowhere, but frustration, and she said, "You're so cold."

She opened her shirt and forced my head to her breasts.

"That's, because you're so cold to me."

"You call this cold." She stroked my penis under my jeans. I got hard.

Elvis came on the record player and someone tried to change the 45.

"Don't do that," I shouted and the person shrugged, as if it really didn't matter what was playing

Nina looked at me with surprise.

"I didn't know you were into Elvis."

"I wore black for three days after his death."

"I've changed my mind about you. You love Elvis same as me."

She stood up and straddled my groin, lifting her skirt. She wasn't wearing any panties. Her breasts rode my shoulders, as her pelvis rubbed against my belly. This was a complete mismatch and I bet she had a large cunt. She took me in the bathroom and proved I was wrong.

@ the St. Marks Cinema

During the showing of EASY RIDER Georg said, "I can get over Maria. I know we weren't meant forever, but you know she really hurt me. I didn't know that she could."

"Sorry, but both of you were seeing someone else or elses and that doesn't say you care for someone."

"Not in 1977."

Hurt me.
Make me pain
So I will remember our love
Our lives don't exist when we are together
Just the feel of you completes me
Hurt and pleasure
The two feel good
When you are strong
And even better weak___

I LOVE BRIGITTE: a collection of short stories by Peter Nolan Smith

The Cote d’Azur stretching along the Mediterranean from Ventimiglia to St. Tropez has been populated since before the Bronze Age, but the French actress Brigitte Bardot renewed interest in the Riviera with her debut appearance as a sultry teenager in the 1956 film ET DIEU…CREA LA FEMME.

That summer the blonde sensation adorned every magazine cover in the USA and her body screamed out French from movie posters.

I dreamed of Brigitte Bardot and St. Tropez for months.

I was four years old.

I still dream of her.

Sometimes in my sleep.

The White Wedding.

Some things never change.

To read I LOVE BRIGITTE: a collection of short stories by Peter Nolan Smith

Please go to the following URL https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IL91UIM

La Belle France

Paris is an amazing city, but it has been renown for the beauty of women living there throughout time. Here is a collection of movie stars. They lit up our lives.

Catherine Deneuve

Brigitte Bardot

Sophie Marceau

Marie Trintignan

Carole Bouquet

Dominique Sanda

Isabelle Adjani

Of course there's no mention of Franciose Hardy.

The only Yeh-Yeh girl of France.

I loved the 60s.

New Year's Eve 2007 Pattaya

On the afternoon of December 31, 2007 heavy lorries, pick-up trucks and 125cc motorcycles with sidecars exited from the distributor at the end of my soi with thousands of beers every minute. Thousands of Thai and farang tourists were flocking into the city for the year's final drunk in the beach resort's countless bars, go-gos, hotels, and brothels from Jomtien to Naklua.

"What are you doing tonight?" Sam Royalle asked on my porch in the shade of a Norfolk pine. He had been out the previous night with our friends and couldn't remember coming home. His skin exuded a sheen of excess alcohol.

"Nothing." I planned on avoiding the debauch in the Last Babylon and falling asleep before the TV during a Star Trek ENTERPRISE marathon. The mozzies from the swamp in the backyard will party with my feet during my unconscious state.

Nothing?"

"Sounds good to me." I had worked in nightclubs through the 70s, 80s, and 90s. My fellow workers referred to 12/31 as 'amateur's night' and the same stupid behavior of fights, accidents, and stupid conversations held as true for Pattaya as it did in New York, London, Paris, or LA. "I'm giving it a miss. My wife is going out with her friends though, so I get to care back of my daughter. We're going to watch the fireworks from my garden."

"Have a party." Sam was a family man and understood kids came first. He drove off my his scooter in the direction of home.

My wife left the house at 8:30 without any good-byes. Angie didn't care. She and I had KFC and played rodeo on the bed. We had a glass of Pepsi and watched some more Star Trek. It put both of us to sleep before 10. I was dead sober.

I heard the fireworks and tried to open my eyes.

Not a chance.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

What has happened to my wickedness?

Children. Tonught was Angie's birthday. I was gratefull for her in my life.

They tend to rescue a bad man's soul.

Better them than the devil.

Journal Entry - December 30, 1977

After waking up late Georg and I walked from our SRO hotel on West 11th Street to the East Village. The setting sun only lit the highest buildings like One-Fifth.

Shit,"he said, "I've lost another day."

"I know. We never see the sun."

"The only sun I see is only TV and my TV's Black-and-white."

"We're becoming vampires, living only a night. Lucky there's a lot of night this time of the year. All of us have trouble sleeping." "You do. I do. Freddie does. And I've never seen Tony sleep." Georg lifted his eyes to the fading sunlight. "Maybe it's living at that place." The SRO housed a collection of minimal achievers. Fwew of us had steady jobs and those that had nine-to-fives were earning a fortune.

"No, I've had trouble sleeping since I was young. My mother too. But we have to straighten this out. I'd like to get up at least by 12, so I see some of the day."

"My New Year's resolution is to rise by 8 and make the rounds of auditions and meet agents." Georg was a good actor, but no one saw his late-night comdy routine other than his friends from the SRO. None of us had any contacts in nightclubs.

"Yes, wake at 8 and go back to sleep until noon." I could write poetry any hour of the day, but it was also unsettling that the only daylight I saw was at dawn.

My skin was the color of parchment paper like blood avoided my veins. I spent my hours after work at Serendipity III with the other near-dead at an after-hour bar; drunkards, whores done their last tricks, queers prowling the Hudson docks, waitresses getting off work, punks, discoers, and the hospital staff. We all share the deepest night.

@Astor Place

Drinking free coffee and my nerves are shot. Only two days remain in 1977, the year of double 7s, an impossible crap roll, since the dice only have six sides.

Swaying thighs catch my eyes. I follow her up the blonde up the block to a bar She hasn't noticed my espionage, then she turns and her green eyes engage mine I politely say 'hello' even though I have intruded on her solitude. She says, "Let's go to my place." I can't believe she said that And she asks, "Do you follow women much?' "No, you're the first." At her place she is silent and beautiful Never saying a word After the act I dress Her body is relaxed. She yawns Her parted thighs moist from me I leave and resume my watch on the city Waiting for ships and women at night

I ask no favor from anyone. I'm a lowly busboy. I will quit in a week's time. To end my base servitude.

BRIGITTE NEVER GETS OLD

Ten years ago I returned to New York after a long time in Thailand. Culture shock had been minimalized by staying at my friend's $3 million Fort Greene brownstone, however after a week I had acclimatized to fat people with loud voices, young people walking with cellphones in their hands, and the lack of serious conversation. My biographer called and asked me to recount the circumstances of my exile from the Land of Smiles.

"Come meet me at Lucien’s on 1st Avenue. I'm interviewing Taylor Meade.” Dannett was a man about town. He had been a child star as a child. As a man he was still a boy and so was I.

I showed up late. The beat poet had drunk a bottle of whiskey. Dannett was conversing with a young Russian boy, Chad, who was clearly smitten with the respected obituarist’s infectious joi du mots. The magic of Dannett's perpetual youth had that effect on some people and the bon vivant introduced me with an ornate flourish, "Meet my new protege. He likes older women."

"Why doesn't he like older men?" Taylor Meade was upset with the inattention.

"Older women are more intellectual than older men."

"How's that?" I asked in search of finding an answer to why I had divorced my feeling for a married woman madly in love with me.

"Because older men are only interested in younger cock." Chad was street smart which Taylor and I both admired.

"Older men are rarely interested in anything older than themselves." My Thai wife was 24. She was pregnant with my son. I had come back to America to make another fortune. The last had been blown overseas.

"But, truly, I have wept too much! The Dawns are heartbreaking. Every moon is atrocious and every sun bitter," the angelic boy quoted Rimbaud and purported himself like a gentleman.

"I prefer 'I have stretched ropes from steeple to steeple; garlands from window to window; golden chains from star to star, and I dance' It's a little more cheerful." Dannett had a repertoire of quotes memorized as a child actor.

Taylor and I contested their quotes by emptying our glasses, but I was jealous of Dannett's protege. He was 23 and looked 12. His life was life ahead of him. I was almost three times his age and no one had called me young in decades.

"An older women like cut cock," I interjected from behind a glass of wine. We laughed, as Chad assessed the intent of the statement. None of us expected him to say, "That's anti-Semitic."

"Anti-Semitic?" I was having none of this. "Chad, what does a cut cock have to do with anti-Semitism."

"Jews have their penises cut." His cheeks burned with indignation of the supposed slight.

"I was just joking."

"Jokes like that are meant for the Twentieth Century." Americans and especially young ones had lost their sense of humor after the indoctrination of political correctness.

"Lighten up, unless the mohel schobbed off too much prepuce at your Bris. You know that the mohel was buried with all the foreskin he had ever cut off?"

"Prepuce." Chad had never heard the term.

"Yes, the foreskin of Jesus." The Holy Bris of Jesus was reputed to have been preserved in a jar of spikenard and this relic has passed hands throughout the royalty of Europe. "They rubbed it for good luck and it turned into a suitcase without any wheels."

After this quip Chad excused himself from the table. Taylor followed him to the bathroom, looking to get lucky wiht the younger man, while Dannett admonished me for riding him a little hard, however I do believe in the Freedom of Speech unlike France, whose courts had been seeking a $23,500 fine against the withered beauty, Brigitte Bardot, for inciting anti-Muslim hatred in her letter to the then Interior Minister Nicholas Sarkosy accusing the nation’s #1 minority of destroying French Culture by not listening to Johnny Hallyday or eating crepes.

I shut off Dannett's lighthearted harangue and drank my wine, thinking that maybe Chad could help her with this problem. After all he has a thing for older women, as do I, especially blue-haired heiresses dipped in Botox, then again I’m no gentleman and Brigitte Bardot never gets old in AND GOD CREATED WOMEN, except in CONTEMPT in which she was only 29 and I was eleven. Way to young to be with her, but never to young to dream.

11:11 am Clinton Hill 12/29/2025

11:11 am Clinton Hill

11:11 am Clinton Hill 12/29/2025

11:11 am Clinton Hill

My friend in Palm Beach, Bobby Butz, has a thing for identical consequential times such as 11:11 or 00:00. Not that one specifically, which is regarded by some as an angel number to a celestial portal. I just see it as a yo-eleven in craps paying out for the rare first roll. Neither Bobby nor I take these manifestations seriously . At least I don't, because 00:00 and 11:11 show up four times in the total seconds of a day or 0.00004629629 per twenty-four hours. 12:12, 1:11.2:22 or 3:33 don't count, but I like 7:14 the number for 714 Lemon Quaaludes in the 1970s. I live alone and have time on my hands, since I saw every TV and movie on the internet on TV during my three year battle with a very serious illness. I was spared 12/23/2025. 12232025 has no significance in numerology. According to Astrology.com the number 1223 indicates that you are surrounded by love, support, and encouragement. That is true and I owe Bobby for having saved me from a beating in Paris in 1985.

Paris was a good refuge for me in the 1980s. I worked at the best clubs and the investigation into the corrupt 20th Precinct was still seeking answers for Viktor Malensky's murder outside the Continental Club on West 25th Street. I knew nothing.

In the City of Light I never had my own apartment. I crashed with friends or lived in hotels writing in illegible poetry in journals. I was drifting, but was welcome everywhere, since I stood at the door of popular nightclubs. My favorite haunt was Le Privilege, an elegant nightclub beneath Le Palace disco catering to an international melange of fashion, cinemas, music, and jet set. The tables were covered with white clothI rarely when upstairs. The crowd was a little rougher than the Bon Chic Bonne Belle et Beau invitees to the subterranean refuge from the hoi polloi. It was so so branché. Le Palace had a different door policy than Le Privilege. The club needed number. Still I liked to wander through the massive disco, ever alert to the possible presence of some voyu or thug I had refused entrance, They were always looking for me too.

One night I can't recall when, although if and when I find this event in my journals, I'll have the exact date. Maybe 11/11 Armstice Day or Ruhe Tag. The end of World War I. I doubt it, anyway I was cruising the disco. I recall standing at the lower level bar. A large man and slender woman were arguing a few feet away. I couldn't hear the exchange of words, but my danger alert was on fire. Not danger for me, but the young woman. The man grabbed her arm. She tried to pull away without any success. This was not a lover's quarrel. It was none of my business and most men would have ignored the confrontation. Not me.

I stepped closer and slapped the man's offending hand. Hard. He was shocked by my interference and shouted in guttural French. I figured the lout from Alsace. The bartender knew me and pulled away the glasses from the bar. The woman circled around me. There was nothing else for it and I struck twice. Left jab and then a roundhouse to the face. Hard. I've never had a knockout punch. I kicked his knee without his falling. The sons of farmers grow up hard in Alsace. They once were German. He smiled without any wondering, if I could counter his punches. I never found out. The videurs or bouncers muscled him from the disco. He shouted something over his shoulder.

"Je te trouve."

I had heard 'I'll find you' before many places. Usually the speaker or shouter in this case. The young woman and her friends thanked me for my assistance. I smiled and said, "C'est rien."

It was nothing.

My knuckles didn't hurt and the barman, Jean-Jean, filled my glass. I don't think he knew my name. He knew my drinks. Gin-tonic. The DJ was playing Grace Jones' DANCE TO THE RYTHYM. I was feeling good and descended to the safety of le Privilege. Marie France was dancing. I walked to join the blonde singer. Not so fast.

Not so safe.

Pacquita, the doorwoman, grabbed my arm.

"You have to get out of here. That man you fought belongs to a local gang. Nickie. A Serb. He's outside the entrance of le Palace with ten friends. The bouncers will not call the police. If they do you will have to talk with them and the flics are friendly with his gang."

Not good. I had dealt with Russians at the Continental. Serbs were another story. I downed the gin-tonic and signaled the barman, Nordine, for another.

Pacquita waved to a mutual friend, Bobby Butz, a handsome blonde fashion stylist. He was living with Claude Montana. They were a good couple. Bobby was no fighter, but he had a BMW in the alley of Cite Bergere. Like me Bobby was treated well by Paris. He shrugged and said, "You are such a bad boy, but in good ways. I'll get my friends and we'll get out of here. We're going to le Sept."

"Anywhere, but here." Le Sept was the perfect rabbit hole. So very gay.

I downed the drink. Claude the manager of le Privilege wished me luck.

"A minute later Bobby, two Swedish model, one my good friend, Christine Bergstrum,, and I piled into his BMW. I sat in the front.

"Let get out of here."

Bobby shifted the car into gear, yet set off at a leisurely pace without any urgency. No one was after him. He turned left of Rue Bergere and proceeded to Rue de Montmatre without any urgency.

"Can we go faster?"

"I've been drinking. This is as fast as I can go. ZDon't worry. I 'm not stopping until we get to where we're going."

"WQhere is that?"

"You'll see.

The BMW's wasn't faster enough to get away. These people wanted to hurt me. Maybe kill me. You can't tell with Serbs. The two Peugots attempted to overtake us on the narrow street leading to Montmatre. Bobby sped up a little and blew the red light at Rue La Fayette. A wider street. The two cars were crammed with thugs. They were out for blood. The girls were screaming. Bobby put on the radio. I don't recall the song. I wished it had been Judas Priest HEAD OUT TO THE HIGHWAY. The BMW deked left and right to prevent my pursuers from passing us, as if this was a low speed F1 race. Top speed 20mph. All the way to Palais Royal. Traffic was light. He could have punch the gas. The BMW was a fast car. He ingored my pleas.

"I know what I'm doing," he said, as if he had been many low-speed chases.

Rue de Rivoli. A wide boulevard. 30 mph. Next up Place de Concorde. No way were weren't going to get stop there. I wanted to jump out and foot it.

"No jumping out. I know what I'm doing."

I thought the worse, but Bobby pulled up in front of the American Embassy and braked the car. Gendarmes approached the BMW. The Peugots disappeared into the night. Bobby was right. I was safe. He slapped my leg and said, :"Now let's go have a drink at le Sept."

"Bien sur."

Seven was always a lucky number.

In dice and Paris.

7 come eleven.