Thursday, July 16, 2009

Thaksin Bio


His Excellency Police Lieutenant Colonel Honorable Professor Sir Dr. Thaksin Shinawatra, M.A.(Eastern Kentuckistan University ), Ph.D.(Sam Houston State University), Blah Blah Blah! is the ex- Prime Minister of Thailand and the leader of the Shocker organization [[1]]. As head of the Neo Shocker alliance [[2]] which controls (among others) Thailand's Super Heroes movement [[3]], he was the richest man in Thailand before transferring ownership of the alliance to his family, maids & drivers.

Nobody knows when he was born, but it is said that he emerged from hell on July 26, 1949. He has various nicknames such as "Maew", "Takky", "Ai Liam", "Toxin", "Chayote", and "Ai Hia".

* Thaksin Shinawatra's Education - trained as a tour guide for Satan at Hell University before appearing on planet Earth
* Thaksin Shinawatra's favorite fruit is chayote or ฟักแม้ว or if you pronounce it in Thai it's read FuckMaew(Maew = Taksin's nickname).
* Thaksin Shinawatra 's favorite food is deep fried chayote-tops in oyster sauce or ยอดฟักแม้วผัดน้ำมันหอย.
* Thaksin Shinawatra most distinguished and recognizable feature is his square face.(หน้าเหลี่ยม)
* Thaksin Shinawatra has the leading role in the most popular Korean drama series Daek Jung Meung [[6]]. The series is now on-air on every channel in Thailand.
* A soap opera "Ta Du Dao, Thao Tid Din", ตาดูดาว เท้าติดดิน , is scheduled to on-air on TV7 channel [[7]], the highest rating TV channel in Thailand. The series was adapted from Thaksin Shinawatra 's autobiography ตาดูดาว เท้าติดดิน [live the simple life, aim high]. Thaksin Shinawatra and his wife approved the scripts and chose the leading actor and actress by themselves. The series production has been finished for years but does not have the confirmed broadcast schedule yet. [[8]]

Thaksin Shinawatra 's Life & Family

The Shinawatra family, formerly known as the Cheng family came to Thailand, from South China. Their ancestors were private tax collectors, known for rackateering/collecting protection money. Amongst their Tax Investigations they visited gambling dens where people played cards and smoked opium. These places paid private tax to the Shinawatra family to avoid "accidents" and donated supplies of opium that his ancestors channelled into the houses of Ace Jack King and Queens. Investigator: Erik Young - United Nations Human Rights Ambassador Member State Assistant

His wife, Potjaman Shinawatra, a.k.a Or-Yai or Nai Ying, has long supported him both on the political front stage and in the Neo Shocker organization back stage. They had 3 children together.
* Panthongtae Shinawatra - Khun Oak, studied in Triam Udom Suksa [[9]], Thammasat University [[10]] and Ramkhamhaeng University [[11]], but nobody knows where he actually graduated from, if anywhere. He is believed to be gay and is still addicted to various drugs.
* Pinthongtha Shinawatra - Khun Ame. She was admitted to Kasetsart University's special program, but was accidentally transfered to study in the regular program which all other student had to pass the nationwide entrance exam to do. Eventually, she graduated from Kasetsart University [[12]], and is now studying in the UK. Perhaps she will be accidentally transfered to another university again.
* Praethongtharn Shinawatra - Oong-Ing, Thaksin Shinawatra 's favorite child. She is studying at Chulalongkorn University [[13]]. She got into this famed university with big help from a fax machine. Ironically, many of the professors at her university signed an open letter asking her father to resign. She was seen cheating on exams, but the worst that happened was she got a C.

Thaksin Shinawatra once said he would like to be the founder and the 1st chairman of TMA-TWAT (Thai Men Afraid of Their Wife Association of Thailand)

[edit] Thaksin Shinawatra's Habitat

The private residence of His Excellency Police Lieutenant Colonel Dr. Thaksin Shinawatra and his family is Baan Jan Song MA (Thai - บ้านจันทร์ส่องหล้า). It is located on Soi Charansanitwongse 69, Bangkok Noi, in the western part of Bangkok.

The property was up for sale in 2002. Both Mr Shinawatra and the real estate agents failed to mention that someone had threatened to blow up the house. It was on the market for 100 million baht at the time.

In early 2007 Thaksin purchased another property with a backyard near Kingston-upon-Thames Surrey UK, complete with BMW (Black Magic Woman). Mr Shinawatra also bought a Mercedes because it makes him feel like he is inside a woman. For some reason everyone in Kingston Surrey, especially the mothers, give him one of those facial looks "oh no it's you Shinawatra" as though they don't like him living near them. The kids glued a Steve Mcqueen poster on his back door and he don't feel safe there anymore and is going to China to live.

How I will donate all my wealth back to Thailand

1. Fax all my offshore bankers and instruct them to wire transfer all funds to The Bank of Thailand

2. Instruct lawyer to instigate a Mareva Injunction and an Anton Piller Order upon all major world banks in case I forgot where I hid some of the money

3. Explain to the Oxford Dictionary that a Thesaurus for the word Shinawatra is 'A poor man who was a successful gangster'

4. Quickly buy a Tuk Tuk so I will have a new income stream and rename myself Kato after Pink Panther Servant so nobody recognises me and I get some customers

5. If Tuk Tuk plan fails have an Afro perm and move to Kingston Jamaica and join the Yardies

6. Invade Singapore and make myself King
Why Mr Shinawatra joined the Thai Police

I only applied for a joke because I like shooting and chasing girls. I was surprised I was accepted because I didn't realise I was corrupt.

This info is tnaks to Uncyclopeida

http://mirror.uncyc.org/wiki/Thaksin_Shinawatra

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