Saturday, April 17, 2010

Hell No, Heaven Yes, Purgatory Maybe


The GOP has been active in obstructing any legislation in Congress for decades. The strategy of no laws have created a logjam in Washington. Many Americans consider the Grand Old Party to be the party of 'No'. Earlier in the month Sarah Palin clarified the position of her Tea Party by stating at a New Orleans convention of the Southern Republican Leadership Conference, ""Party of no? Nah. We're the party of 'hell no.'"

Her opposition to the Obama Health Plan has vaulted the ex-governor of Alaska once more to the forefront of the fight for the White House.

"Hell,no," crowed Andy, the ex-cop working as a security guard at the diamond exchange. He recently joined the Tea Party and the retiree proudly swears his love for Sarah Palin. "I'd love to see her naked."

"I'm not so sure about that." My sister-in-law is constantly asking why I never settled down with a woman my age. Not many 57 year-old matron want a piece of me. I'm damaged goods. Sarah Palin is 45. Young in my eyes, but not young enough. "That would be hell for me."

"Hell, no." Andy is a true retro-racist. He hates Obama and most every black. "That's Heaven for me."

"Well, if you're 'hell,no', then I guess I'm purgatory maybe."

"What are you talking about?"

"If I was a Christian then I would say Heaven Yes to refute your 'hell no'."

"But you're a non-believer." Andy knows my beliefs. He isn't so Christian himself.

"Exactly." Obama had even mentioned 'non-believers' during his inauguration speech. "So I don't believe in Heaven or hell or any afterlife."

"You'll be surprised when you die and find yourself at the pearly gates."

"Surprised? I'll be shocked." Especially if god is wearing a muumuu. I don't expect much sympathy from the almighty for my apostasy. "But I sort of believe in Limbo, so I guess I'll have to say 'Purgatory maybe' to you tea baggers."

"We're tea partyers. Not tea baggers." The 'birthers are sensitive about this reference the sexual act of swallowing testicles in the mouth.

"What if the tea-bagging was done by Sarah?"

"Hell, yes."

"Then she's all yours."

Just another side of the coin in the wonderful world of politics

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