ROOFIE THE GOP

This evening find the strongest prescription sedative in your medicine cabinet. Take out several pills and call up a GOP friend. Invite for a drink. Crush the pills into a powder. Meet your Republican friend at a bar. Slip him a Mickey. Preferably oxycontin. It's Russ Limbaugh's drug of choice. He'll have a good night's sleep. I wrote 'he' because only fat white males are voting for Romney and I'd hate to be accused of attempted date-rape of a fat white female Romneyette. Having accomplished your task, lock your friend in the bar's toilet. Then return to the bar to have a nightcap. Make sure the bartender isn't wearing a Romney button. Tomorrow vote early and vote often and vote Obama.

O'Bama The Man

My first presidential vote was for George McGovern in 1972. The Democratic candidate's middle name was Stanley and he proposed to end the War in Vietnam as well as cut Pentagon spending by 37%. Nixon won by a landslide. The South Dakotan's electoral wins were Massachusetts and DC. Afterwards Bay Staters said that our support was due to the fact that with our long history of corrupt politicians we recognized Nixon for a crook and two years later he was ousted from the White House for Watergate. I have never voted for a GOP candidate. I probably never will vote for one. I'm solidly backing Barack O'Bama. He's Irish and we always vote our own.