Tuesday, June 10, 2008

THE beauty of language

I've lived in several foreign countries.

Germany, France, Mexico, Indonesia, and Thailand.

You can usually find someone to speak English albeit their version of the language and in order to be understood you dumbize your speech. After a few months you end up sounding like ET after drinking too many beers. "Me want go home."

Thais tend to mutilate English by adopting their own grammatical peculiarities ie no particles, no tenses, possessive pronouns after the main noun.

(Sorry if you don't understand what I'm on about. I write so I have some idea of grammar. it's spelling that really messes me up).

In other words dey moida da Queen's English.

This stupidation of speech applies to Anglophones; Tea Bags, Canucks, Yanks, Jocks, Micks, Aussies, and Kiwis so that our conversations are indecipherable to tourists.

"Be back tomorrow maybe."

"Car my not work. Drive bike."

Strangely all your mates understand you, since they are suffering the same malaise. Not speak English no good now.

And being away from your native land also means you're out of touch with recent developments in words usage. Here's some additions to the American lexicon.

They might prove useful should you want to impress a fellow countryman.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize
it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking
down in the near future.

Agat-Ngaoh Thai meaning idiot air

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid.

Barg-wan-yet Thai basically sweet mouth to boom boom

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.

nab-kob-kun mai ko jai or funny no understand

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Mai mee aloom Sexy

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad
vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious
bummer.

Lot mot goom jai

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.

Kin toog yang aloi

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

Phod Mai Yet

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Kwahn-kit Bah Leao Leao

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

Den Bah

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Satan-yung - Satan mosquito

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit
you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Ngao Lu-tut

For a related article click on this URL

http://www.mangozeen.com/swearing-in-thai.htm

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