Never argue with a woman.

I never try and prove I'm right to women, especially those with whom I've been involved, because you'll never be more wrong than proving a woman wrong and she'll never let it down.

They think they're so smart.

Like when they quote you supposedly verbatim and you can't remember ever saying those words.

Why?

Because you most likely never did, but she knows that you can't remember that.

Smart women are dangerous and so are stupid ones, because they got what we straight men want.


One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap...
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book.
The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

This joke obviously comes from a woman.

Which is why I drink beeer. So I can think that I'm smarter than them.

"I'll show her, one more beer."