Monday, March 31, 2008

The 6th Commandment in Pattaya

Ten years ago the religious right in America sought to increase the influence of God on the government by trying to place the Ten Commandments in various courthouses and state legislatures. While I am not a follower of the bearded Jehovah in the flowing muumuu, I had nothing against erection of the twin tablets of NO this and No that as long as the politicians passing through the portals such sanctified buildings adhere to the tenets of God.

No lying would eliminate 50% of the US Senate. No stealing would get rid of another 25% and no adultery would decimate the remainder, so the Senate would be a lonely place for the few saints.

Back then I lived in Pattaya.

A beach town obeying few commandments.

One night at the Buffalo I asked my three friends, if they could name the 10 Commandments.

They hit five.

The other five were lost during the past 10 years, however sometimes Pattaya residents seem to be challenging Sodom for the Guinness record of breaking the Commandments, which is why you should be careful with picking your friends, and once you have friends you should only trust them so far.

Rarely with someone you just out of a go-go, although most bar girls are 100% more honorable than a farang. Not that anyone wants to be bad, but Pattaya breeds weakness in character, because no one wants to go back to their country of residence and will do anything to stay here another week, month, or year.

Case in point.

My good friend lent a bar owner 250,000 baht.

As a favor until the bar owner sold his establishment.

While the bar owner is in Australia, my friend checked on the bar. He reported to the bar owner that his wife was stealing money from the till and going out at night.

At whom does the bar owner get angry?

The fat bald cunt badmouthed the man who lent him almost $6000 US.

My friend was not a calm man, but decided not to say anything.

The market was slow, but finally some sucker signed a contract.

The bar owner gives the down payment of 300,000 to his girlfriend to buy land up country. My friend showed up and asked for his cash. The bald bar owner threw him out of the bar, telling him to fuck off.

I'll pay you when I get me money.

"Let no good deed go unpunished." My old boss on 47th Street said and he was right.

All my friend did was try to help a mate.

The bald bar owner might not be guilty of breaking DO NOT STEAL, but he did trespass over the 'I'm a cunt' line.

So Pattaya had a simple set of commandments.

#1 Never trust anyone.

#2 If you do trust someone, only trust them up to the point where they can fail. Beyond that poiny the fault is yours.

#3 Never lend more money than you can lose.

Of course I ignore all laws, because all laws are meant to be ignored, except after the fact.

ps I punched out the bald man with my first filled with keys.

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