Monday, March 31, 2008

USA to Zap Space Junk


A lingering image of the Iraq War is the video of a $1,000,000 smart missile taking out a crapped-out truck on a desert bridge. Cost-effective considering that US troops annually shoot over a billion bullets. One billion bullets is just a little trigger happy. This gun-crazyitis comes from the top, as GW Bush now wants to destroy a spy satellite losing its orbit, purportedly to safeguard the world against contamination from the fuel cell containing hydrazine.
Acute exposure to this highly toxic fuel humans may include irritation of the eyes, nose, and throat, dizziness, headache, nausea, pulmonary edema, seizures, coma, and it can also damage the liver, kidneys, and central nervous system. Almost the same effects as the steady diet of Big Macs in the movie SUPERSIZE ME.
The Golden Arches are in no danger from a cocaine-mad president. His mission to be accomplished is to blast the failed satellite with a single Standard Missile 3 (SM-3) fired from a US Aegis naval cruiser in the northern Pacific Ocean. White House spokesmen denied this action will accelerate the space arms race and gave 4 to 5 odds in Las Vegas of intercepting the missile before it enters the atmosphere.
Bookies are offering 1 in a 100.
Jamie Parker isn't placing any bets. "This has nothing to do with the spy satellite or flexing muscle for China or reminding the world we may be broke but we still have over 10,000 nukes. This is about UFOs. UFOs have been floating over Texas for the last month. The Government wants to show Earth isn't defenseless. Especially since there's photographic proof that these aliens might have Nazi sympathies."
His mobile phone had a picture of flying saucers festooned with swastikas. "Scary, huh? Nazis from outer space."
"I think I saw that movie." The title was TERROR FROM OUTER SPACE. It might be listed in the 100 worst films ever made. The only Nazi from Outer Space I ever met was Klaus Nomi and he was actually from Essen in the old Bundesrepublik.
"You can laugh all you want." Jamie obviously was off his meds. "They're up beyond the moon, sieg-heiling Adolf in suspended animation."
I did laugh all I want.
I've already called my bookie and bet the house on a miss, even though the Standard Missile 3 is reputed to have taken down TWA flight 800 out of JFK after a National Guard pilot accidentally armed his weapons system. Opps.
The cost of one Standard Missile 3 (SM-3) is $100,000,000.
No wonder the USA doesn't have socialized medicine.

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