Friday, June 22, 2012

The Beauty of Lao Khao


Many western tourists to Thailand have been exposed to Mekhong Whiskey. The inexpensive golden rumlike liquor capably produces historic hang-overs for farangs and Thais. The blame for this morning-after hell lays not the 35% alcohol content, but the combination of distilled from 95% sugar cane/molasses and 5% rice, especially when mixed with Coke for a super-turbo dose of sugar to the bloodstream. Most Thais avoid Mekhong's 'hang' in favor of Rice Whiskey or Lao Khao, which is made from sticky rice or khao nee-o. The government restricts the sale of the untaxed liquor and hospitals complain about the dangers of the crude brew, however Yadong or Lao-Khao with herbs is considered medicine in Ban-nok or the 'sticks'.

Mam, my son's mother, drinks homemade red Lao to induce her period. Rice farmers consume the clear version to regain their strength. Some swear it's a magic potion for sex. Other trade rumors about lao-khao infused with opium or dragon's blood. Its most obvious effect is general drunkenness and I have experienced its wonders on many occasions in the boondocks.

Night falls early in Ban-nok. The sky is black by 7. There are no restaurants or bars. Only a dirt road leading to the rice paddies. After eating the men drink beer until the last bottle is empty and then it's onto lao khao.

Sometimes in a bottle. Many times from a plastic bag.

80 proof or 40% alcohol more of less.

Refusal to join in the drinking session is considered yaap or rude.

"Deuem, deuem."

The locals beseech with an ambush of politeness. They don't like drinking alone. I've surrendered to their pleas, thinking only one glass will satisfy their urge for hospitality. Hours later we're searching the house for more money to buy a final bottle of lao-khao. Wives lay sullen in the beds. Sleep has impossible with our conversations shouted to the ghosts of the jungle. Morning comes too soon to recover from the excess, but one good thing about Thailand is that in the heat your body sweats out any toxins by noon.

Beer for lunch?

"With ice, please."

It tastes better than water.

The Beauty of Lao Khao

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