Thai Water Buffalo Revival

A warning to farangs living in Thailand.

Be prepared for an onslaught of kwai mai sabai or sick buffalo complaints from your girlfriends, as up-country relatives switch from tractors to water buffaloes to work their fields.

For years the King of Thailand has proclaimed that the water buffalo was a vital part of the nation's agriculture and the animal is more valuable than ever to the future of sustainable farming, as fuel and fertilizer prices have risen to non-profitable heights. The King has been donating buffaloes to rural communities on a small scale since 2000 with hopes that their offspring shall reincarnate the old school of farming, however most farmers need to be educated on the benefits of the traditional plowing and fertilizing the rice paddies as well as be weaned from the technological crutches of the 20th Century.

"We can't afford new tractors," said Nataporn Saeng Po, a leader of a farmers' group. "Here they are 72,000 baht [$2,150], not counting fuel costs, while a large buffalo is only 25,000 baht [$746] and unlike the tractor, if you invest in buffaloes, they multiply."

Tractors never fuck, they only fuck up.

Some up-country farangs might go so far as to trade in their SUVs.

Backback on a buffalo is a rough ride without AC, but the water buffalo might be the wave of the future. Who knows next time that sick buffalo might be yours.